.&?x'CAZBELL'x?&.

♥♥

2009-09-15T20:07:00.003+08:00

So... moving over to a new link. :D

♥click here
♥

Sorry for all the trouble, cz i kinda love the new layout.

LALA. ;D.. won't stop updating..

and sorry for the previous few emo stuff.. was going through emotional state. ;D♥

hm

2009-09-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

how do you make a wish come true?

ahhhhhhh

2009-09-13T15:48:00.000+08:00

i want this!

another movie

2009-09-13T15:41:00.002+08:00

Last wednesday, hubby and i watched G.I.Joe..

weeee...>.<

don't know what to say about it..

GO WATCH IT!!! hahahaa.

Not happy

2009-09-12T00:00:00.001+08:00

...

i don't know what's happening..

self-esteem gone down quite low this afternoon.

but i'm much better now.

i cried cz i know you wouldn't be able to give me what i wanted. i was being a baby.

...

2009-09-08T23:40:00.003+08:00

Hubby and i talked today. It sudden made me realize WHAT i REALLY want this year. But somehow, i don't want to put my hopes up high because, With the higher hopes, will ALWAYS bring bigger disappointment.

For this year's birthday. my wish is ''to know how much you love me''. Or much i mean to you. and how much effort it's worth..

Hubby did mention that it's bcz i'm leaving and he doesn't want to make it such a big thing and i''ll end up NOT wanting to leave.

But the thing is. I wish he'll tell me. So i'll be more secure. and i want to know how it is.

*ugh*. like tiger had said.. why does he have to be so stubborn and why does he have to be someone that doesn't want to show his feelings?

ahhhhh

2009-09-08T11:59:00.002+08:00

I finally saw some pictures and reminded me of something. HAHAAA

NOW I KNOW where i wanna go for my birthday. ;DDD

buahahahaaaa.. sound so evil right? but. *sigh*. too much for hubby la.

i wanna go jogoya makan. HAHAA..

but due to the fact that there'll be TRAFFIC JAM (which hubby hates). and our class time. GOD knows what time he'll end.

Soooo, don't know about it.

why not let's just have mvD. hahaa..

then it could be cheap.

haha. being random

2009-09-08T11:02:00.000+08:00

i love you

get out

2009-09-07T13:37:00.003+08:00

stop making go crazy! if one day i ever end up in the mental hospital or whatever shit. it's because of your fucking fault!!!!

Seriously right. i don't know what's your fucking problem. and all you're saying is BULLSHIT!!!

and i don't know what's my fucking problem!! everytime what you say it's the fucking same!! and still everytime i listen to it. everytime i get hurt and offended. i'm not a robot. i'm not a fucking body without feelings ok?

I don't want to eat. GOT ANY PROBLEM A??? STOP FORCING ME TO EAT LA!! IF I AM HUNGRY I WILL GO AND EAT LA!!!! SERIOUSLY. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH....

like i wish. you think i don't? Do you FUCKING KNOW HOW HARD IS IT TO PRETEND YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE IN FRONT OF YOU ALL???????TO PRETEND TO LOVE THE THINGS I HATE. TO PRETEND TO HATE THE THINGS I LOVE. TO PRETEND TO BE WHO I AM NOT! WHAT FUCKING SHIT IS THIS????

this is my life. and STAY AWAY FROM IT!!!! you know nothing about me. Not even my favorite color, or my favorite flavor .or my favorite cake. or favorite dish of food. you always think i love chicken chop... IT"S NOT MY FAVORITE AND I HATE IT!!!! wtf. so stop pretending that you know me.!!

It's alright for you to forget MY BIRTHDAY.. oh no. wait.. it doesn't matter shit to you anyway. right?? and how could you even remember something that is not yours??

and i was preparing something. now i just don't want to do it anymore. because. i'm TIRED OF WIPING YOUR ASS!!!!

and yea! i know you hate my not studying law or medicine or whatever shit you wanted your PERFECT DAUGHTER to be so you can FUCKING brag about it. i'm sorry!! that is not who i want to be. i want to be a creative director. an account service. a business design.. i want to have my own magazine book. my own fashion line. FUCKING CANNOT A??????

and what does it give a shit to you even when i wear a 5 inch high heels?? I WALK IN THEM!!! NOT YOU!!!

you have the right to not eat and i don't? what logic is this? DId you take your medicine today? i feel so mad and yet pity you, because you have a FUCKING ATTITUDE and a FUCKING BRAIN like that. nobody knows what fuck shit i'm going through.... people always think ''omg. small matter why you make it till so big?''.. yea.. smal smal small small small .. FOR 20 FUCKING EYARS IT BECOMES BIG!!!

and carol! stop asking me to tahan. be'ccz you're not here!!! and ibet you FORGOT how it feels to be LIKE THIS!!!!

i'm doubting if i wanna come back next week either. fucker.

..

2009-09-06T19:14:00.003+08:00

You know what really pisses me off? Just when i've calmed down.

YOU PISS ME OFF AGAIN!!!!

i talk to you nicely. you ask for my opinion. i give it to you.. and then? I GET SCOLDED FOR MY OPINION! WHAT THE FUCK?

shut up if you can't estimate! 4 person eating you order 2 large pizza! wtf? who's gonna eat? then you go on saying if we don't finish can keep. YEA RIGHT.. if we really didn't finish. you'll start scolding saying why are we wasting food..

THING NEVER GO THROUGH YOUR BRAIN A????

oh yea. wait..

do you even have one?

get out of my life!

2009-09-06T09:29:00.002+08:00

seriously. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! this is one fucking reason why i lock my doors before i go to sleep on saturday night. you force me to go to some place i don't fucking feel like going in the morning! and you start pissing me off!!! what the fuck??? don't you have nothing better to do in your life?

i'm a university student and i can't sleep at 10 every night and wake up at 7 in the morning. what fucking life is that?? how am i gonna fucking finish my work??

i just sniff once today.. ONE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! and you go on lecturer about it... FUCKER!!!!!! if it wasn't my birthday next week. i wouldn't give a shit about coming back either!! if it wasn't for YOU!!!! i wouldn't have come back this week EITHER!!!! stupid ass shit face cunt hole! wtf.

how i wish my birthday would be

2009-09-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

Suddenly, i realize, it might be the last birthday till god knows when we celebrate it together.

Hubby asked ''why don't you have any friends that celebrates your birthday with you?''. Deep inside me, somewhere, hubby doesn't know this part of me. He's lucky he has friends like his. Though i'm also friends with them, but it's different, i'm more like a friend's girlfriend. but anyway, Don't want to talk about that.

I started thinking what i wanted when hubby asked me about a month ago. What do i really want? it's not that i have anything. i would say, i want that top from topshop, or that pair of killer heels. or this perfume. or that shades, or a handbag. there are LOADS a girl would want. i could even say i want a diamond pendant or what-so-ever. but then, i don't want something that just spells 'M-O-N-E-Y''. though i would be happy, which girl wouldn't?

But, i feel. i want a loved birthday. where the boyfriend makes something creative. or maybe a single rose would lighten up my day. Even if it's a combination of pictures of stitches. and us.. Or a collage picture of hubby himself. Or, a simple love letter describing what i mean to him would be so much better than a Burberry handbag, or a Prada shades.

All i wish, is something memorable.

bored.

2009-09-03T17:58:00.002+08:00

This is what you do when you're bored

you camwhore..

especially when ur laptop has a built in camera.

030809

2009-09-03T01:37:00.002+08:00

it's already september!!!

but don't know why i'm so god damn GLOOMY!!!

probably stupid PMS.

=/

2009-09-02T19:07:00.004+08:00

Suddenly, i feel to have the urge to have the brains to study. =/

or maybe the brains to be even smarter. *sigh*...

But anyways, Just feel so tired and lazy. and *ugh*. hate my group assignment work. seriously. =/. tsk. So, anyway, doing my work and watching Full House. but still, makes no difference in my life.

i seriously need a camera. sigh. gonna save money to buy it. Hope i can get it a.s.a.p...

i'm bored. and i'm lost passion in blogging, because he doesn't seem to bother. So he just kinda ruined my mood also.

lalalalala.;D

2009-08-30T18:10:00.001+08:00

hehez.. so the list for what i want for my birthday is up. HAHAA

*hint to the boyfriend*

=p...

just joking la hubby.. i can dream also ma. right? ;D.. crazy siao to get those stuff man.. i just want stitches. that's all.;D

your opinions please. ;D

2009-08-30T00:56:00.005+08:00

So, it's really fascinating to be doing assignments (yea. right.)

So, anyway,

Found these. HAHAAAA>.

Some tattoos can really turn out really fu

nny. HAHAA

And some can turn out to be QUITE creepy. there's worst i tell u..

and some TURN out to be REALLY HOTTT.. hahaaa..

maybe it's because megan fox is just beautiful by herself.

no wait.

she's HOT and sexy rather than beautiful HAHAA..

in my mind beautiful are all the gentle and NOT SO WILD type. hahahaaa

ok. this final picture may look a little as if it's painted.

But if you notice, she doesn't have a nipple. HAHA

Maybe she was doing a campaign or advert,

but it says that..

she's tattooed it like that, be'cz she really loved butterflies and it makes me feel like a child again

She had breast cancer. That's why she's so flat and no nipples.

She went for plastic surgery to make her skin look better and smoother and she got herself a tattoo.

Like Michael has said before, maybe it's a way for making herself feel secure. ;D

but anyway,,,

please comment on what you feel and think.;D. thanks.

what's this world coming to

2009-08-28T14:15:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure if you could see this.. copy and paste it into a new tab or new window / browser

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1092711051435&ref=nf

i find it really sad and i also found a few acticle about it.

As told by Don Crow, 03/02/00...

The story I just heard has all the earmarks of an urban legend...

As it goes, a couple with their child were in a shop in Tijuana, Mexico. With their baby only a couple of feet from them, their attention was diverted just long enough for the baby to be stolen. They searched frantically for the baby and/or the kidnappers, but had no luck. Even with the aid of the local police they had to go home empty handed.

While crossing the border back into the U.S., The wife notices her child's car seat in a car next to them waiting to go through the border check. She gets out of the car and starts to make a scene, which does indeed attract the attention of the border police. The police detain the car in question, along with its occupants. The mother is able to identify the baby as her own that was stolen earlier.

However, the people who had her had killed and disemboweled her as a hiding place for smuggling drugs into the U.S.

******

As told by Tony Graham, 04/10/00...

A woman and her 4 year old son are visiting a border town on the Mexican side of the Texas/Mexico border. As they are walking towards the border crossing to return to the U.S., a man runs up to her and takes her child. She immediately runs to the authorities and a search ensues.

The lady and the authorities begin walking among the cars looking for her son. The woman spots her child in a truck a couple of rows over. Her son is laying his head on the shoulders of man and appears to be sleeping.

As the authorities close in on the vehicle, the driver jumps out of line and makes a run for it. As they are driving off, the passenger opens his door and dumps the child out into the street. As the woman and the authorities reach the child they find, to their horror, that the child has not only been murdered but has been cut open and illegal drugs have been put inside his body.

It appears that the persons in the vehicle were drug smugglers and had decided to kidnap a child, kill them and place the drugs in the body. They would then hold the child as they approached the border and the border agents would think that the child was quietly sleeping on the shoulder of the passenger.

******

As told by Carol Miller, 03/10/00...

I have heard this story twice...

A friend of the teller of the story went to the southwestern United States to visit family. While there, a neighbor stopped by to tell what happened to a friend of a friend, etc.

The family went to Mexico, just across the border, to shop, and lost track of their toddler who wandered off. The police told them to give them a picture of the child and they would circulate it, because somebody might try to bring that child back into the states in the car seat, and the driver would try to pass it off as his sleeping baby.

Sure enough, they found the baby, dead, with drugs sewn up in its body, strapped into the car seat. Supposedly this is happening all the time now.

________

this is so sad.

missing you

2009-08-28T00:44:00.001+08:00

i miss you.. i realize nothing can replace you in my heart.

No one has the big nose you have. and the big tummy of yours. your small little hands and cute little tail.

*sigh*

Listen to this

2009-08-27T23:52:00.001+08:00

I've ALWAYS hear this song in uni.. ALL THE TIME!!! for the first time i thought it was a really lovely song. i remember i was really depressed and emo at that time, with family and lecturers and when they played this song i almost cried..

But soon, it just felt normal..till now i found it.. Then only i realize it's sung by limkokwing students and produced and recorded everything in limkokwing..hmm. not bad i'll say.

something to learn

2009-08-27T16:43:00.002+08:00

It always sucks being in a group. it's not that i don't like it. but i always prefer individual groups. Cz you know what you're doing and you're never afraid that you'll be over doing or under-doing or crossing over what you're suppose to do.

So, yea.. and the other thing that sucks in a group assignment is that when you are new to everyone. The hardest part is ALWAYS passed to you. that's the worst. ugh.

So that's what happened to me right now. so frus.

Dedicated to hubby.

2009-08-26T23:52:00.001+08:00

i love this song. ;DDD

Please comment

2009-08-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

So, here would be a BIG help for my assignments.. i'm suppose to randomly ask questions to people and see what they think. So i'm gonna post the questions on my blog and PLEASE answer them . ;DDD.. thank u LOADDDSSS.. ;DD

1. what do you think about tattoos?

2. Will you get one done? If you will, what will it be and why?

3. Why do you think people get tattoos?

4. Would you be friendly with a person who has a full body tattoo?

5. Why people with tattoos always get the bad impression?

6. If you have a chance to change the people /public's mind about tattoo being bad. what would you?

___

there's more. but these 6 Question are the most important one. ;D. ur feedback will be REALLY help me. thanks.

26082009

2009-08-26T20:01:00.002+08:00

So i just finished my dinner. ;DDD (*picture above*). so yea... quite full. though i still have a fetish of munching on things.

___

Today, i have Design Research class. and i'm doing on Tattoos. but still, i'm like half lost.. Assignments are pilling up and i feel so lost sometimes.

ugh.

____

Anyway, got quite annoyed with some people. Sometimes it's really funny how some people can be so close minded or stereotype. Or like how they judge a book thru the cover and when you tell him or her she just gives you the look? oh my god. i seriously can't stand people like that.

ugh.. anyway, don't wanna talk about people like that ANYMORE.

sooo, this week hasn't been a good week. can't wait for hubby to come back up.

2009-08-25T23:15:00.001+08:00

OMG. seriously it hasn't been my week. Things haven't been good for me.. But oh well, keep the positive thinking up and things will turn over soon. ;D.

Now, back to assignments. OMG. i have work for each subject and i've not started what's due TOMORROW!! and it's 11.30 at night right now. sobs.

sigh

2009-08-25T18:00:00.002+08:00

It's not everyday things work out for you. And it's not every month things are fine for you. In life, there's always the ups and the downs.

But i just NEVER thought things would be so much worst.

i miss you and i'm sorry

2009-08-24T22:51:00.004+08:00

I feel so guilty. I shouldn't have put you into the plastic bag. I should have left you in MY HANDBAG!! but i just wanted more space. I was selfish and stupid. i'm sorry.

and i know i sound like an idiot.

but i can't help it. T____T

Last picture taken in the car.

First picture taken after i got my mac with you

The last christmas ever with you.

The last webbis session with BFF showing you

First ever picture taken you as model for my assignment

Last picture taken while you were with piggy head

Last picture taken you being squashed. (i hope no one will squash you now)

Last decent picture with mooo mooo

Last picture of your portrait picture in landscape mode.

Last picture you were trying to squeeze out the window.

Last picture me and hubby played with you

The VERY VERY VERY LAST picture i took with you. T___T

i'm so sorry... i shouldn't have been so selfish and stupid. If i could just have one more chance...

6 years ago, Me and my sister, carol were going to KL on a family trip. Both of us decided to walk back to the hotel, (JW Marriot) first as we were quite tired. and we were passing by Bukit Bintang. When i saw memory lane having a fair.. (on the Bukit Bintang side walk itself), and i happen to see stitches sitting right at the top of the shelf.

I poked carol and just went over without saying or looking at her. She stopped and followed me.. I took it down from the shelf and i fell in love with it that instant. I looked at carol with my baby eyes. and she knew i wanted it. She looked at the price tag and asked if i really wanted it. I nodded and played with stitches and TOTALLY hugged it and gonna walk away with it as if it was mine. and Carol just went to the counter to pay for stitches..

that was how i got stitches. It has been 6 years. all of our memories together. how worn out you were and i still loved you. How hubby and i played with you and it became like a small family. and now you're gone, i bet he hates me more.

I've cried for the whole day and i know i sound like a baby. But i just can't help it, because i love you too much. I tried going to the mall looking for another teddy. But not ONE could replace you. i love you. and i hope, nobody will squash you or mistreat you anymore.

Now no one will dance the Hokey Pokey, or sing the Itsy bitsy Teeny Weeny, pr dance the teapot and climb the itsy bitsy spider.

i feel so depress and FULL of guilt.

I'm sorrry.

family. ;D

2009-08-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

Remind me that there's someone out there loving me. caring for me.

22082009

2009-08-22T01:18:00.002+08:00

I just learnt something. that is. Some things.. SOME... are better off left unsaid.

I'm home in ipoh. and i just got off the phone with hubby. and..

i hate this feeling right now. i hate this feeling here. The feeling of guilt. and the hate of myself.

i went over the board and forgot who i was. Who i am to be. and what i was doing. i screwed up my job and i just aimless not knowing when my class is. or whether it is cancelled or not.

Maybe you were always right. shouldn't be blaming everyone else for what's happening, but myself.

For example: i shouldn't be angry and pissed at the uni as it's my fault for staying so far and being so unconvinient.

It's my fault that i didn't organize things well and everything is so messed up.

It's my fault for not arranging my time properly until it's all screwed up and my time is so messed up.

my heart wrench when i get lost in thought about how life would be next year. I just feel as though the whole world is coming down on me. Though i know our love will never fall even when hell freezes over. It all leaves to the hand of faith. But i know something, me leaving would be as if i'm walking away from this call our relationship. As we all know, you never believed in LDR's. and you never believe our words. Maybe as they always broke the promise. But i will keep to mine. To show you that in this very world, there is some girl existing that keeps her promise.

Though i asked myself before, is it wrong for me to hate someone? Is it wrong to hate my family? was it my fault i lived in a fucked up family where all i always have to do is put a smile on my face, crack up stories and make them feel my life is oh-so-perfect?

i hate being alone

2009-08-21T11:04:00.003+08:00

.___.

so, i didn't see the bus this morning. so i took the cab to college.

._______.

anyway, class was suppose to be from 9 to 5. BUT it ended at 10.45am. soooooo, i'm like sitting aimlessly here... waiting.... waiting

and still waiting

waiting again

and waiting.

and will wait more.

my dear thong su-xian to come. HAHAA.. hope she can find this useless uni.

ok.. so this is what i wrote this morning

* This is killing me. As i stand here, i sudden realize how lonely it is. To be studying so far away. To be away from something call comfort. Maybe it might be different case for you as you've always had someone to love, somewhere to go. For me. it's only you. and now you're gone. leaving me to defend for myself alone.

i hate being alone. it's so damn inconvenient. like i'm using my laptop now. i can buy a drink. i can't go to the toilet. and the seats are filling up. later no space how?

.__.

maybe it's fated. by god that i'm meant to be alone.

20082009

2009-08-20T23:36:00.002+08:00

So, i just found out the shuttle bus from subang jaya carefour to uni.. which cost RM168 a month.. O_O!!! what the heck??

i'm gonna try to catch the bus.. SEE they will be good hearted enough to let me go on the bus or not..tsk tsk tsk.. too bad they don't have lke per trip.. if not i'll be taking th bus already..

ANYWAY, i've resigned from starbucks.. i don't do jabs and injection. So, i'm going home this weekend..

and i'm lost with my work. T___T. so wanna cry.

and and and..

hubby's having his 3 weeks holiday.. SO NO CASSON LIEW for 3 weeks.. OMG. i'm so gonna die.

i feel loved

2009-08-19T18:49:00.000+08:00

HAHAAA.. i feel so loved because liying misses my face. HAHAHAA

stress

2009-08-19T14:57:00.002+08:00

OMG!.

i seriously don't know how to do my work. T___T. i'm so lost.

i want to cry. cz there's no one to ask.

___

stress is everywhere.. part of me really wanna quit my job. but then i'm not a person who gives up!. Am i? and plus. my boyfriend is going to laugh at me and say i can't survive stress and work.

well. lucky today is my day off.

i seriously don't know how i'm going to class or work next week. so screw it. let's just see what the boyfriend says. *sigh*. i feel like a big ass troublesome person who does nothing but trouble people. well see? i wasn't even wanted the day i was born. or maybe even born.

stop saying i do cz i'm being really stressed out and emo right now.

i know other girls are prettier, with better fashion instinct, and longer nicer glossy hair. i know the arabians got better nose than me. or bigger eyes than me. and a better body. and i'm nothing but a FAT BLOB which i do nothing but take up space. i should just be left along and rott to aside and die la.

i'm sick and i'm tired. i work my ass off and all i've asked is just a little appreciation and attention from you. wish i could stop working. but then don't want to be look down by you. so, screw it.

Feel sorry for you

2009-08-19T03:44:00.005+08:00

Some people should really STOP making things worst for people..

and they should face the fact that 'THE WHOLE WORLD HATES YOU!''

i know you don't like me.

'STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU DO!''

but frankly speaking, at times i really pity you. That you don't even know what they hell you're doing. no aim of life so seriously, go get one!!. i'm not afraid to admit that i don't like you. But at least i'm not some two-face shit person who smiles and talk to me as if you like me and turn around and hate me. I've got a boyfriend who LOVES ME!!!!..

So i don't blame you, but you should really go get a life. Some things didn't even have ANYTHING to do with you, but you and your BIG FAT MOUTH just made things worst!. and when people just tell you a fact, you go around disturbing others about it. poor innocent other people, really. but wait. i don't think you even have a heart to consider others people feeling.

Think you can cause drama into our lives but you don't know any shit about what we've gone thru, so your 'actions' just made you look lame and stupid. i'm clearly not saying your name here. So when YOU read this. hope you don't go bothering others about it. or start spreading some shitty rumors to just get more attention to your life. But whoever reading this think it's YOU!. then maybe you should start changing and accept the fact that you should go GET A LIFE! and stop ruining people's life.

i may be mature and childish typing how i feel now. gonna read back months later thinking 'oh shit. i was so childish back then'. but i'm being really sarcastic and angry right now as i feel that i have the right to write whatever shit i want on my blog. You may not get my REAL meaning, but i don't care. cz to me. what can you do to me? Don't think you can make my life any worst. or are you gonna come over and bitch slap me? like you really dare.. hmph.. poor you people. with no life. and no aim at all.

tsk tsk tsk. i feel so sorry for you. aww.. maybe i should STOp talking cz firstly, it's NOT worth it. and secondly, i really pity you. *sigh*.

wasting my time and internet and my typing energy.

but it's worth it after i release what i feel.

hmph. like i care.

poser

2009-08-19T03:34:00.001+08:00

see how some people SOOOoooOOOO rajin. HAHAHAAAA

;DDD

p/s. i force him to draw one. ;D

second day of clubbing

2009-08-19T03:19:00.001+08:00

So the second day (there's more picture at facebook too)

we went to Rum Jungle AGAIN...

this time me and hubby were on the table stage thingy. HAHAA

i notice... our clothes are both plaited. HAHAAAA

weekend

2009-08-19T03:17:00.002+08:00

So last last weekend.. (i know. it's a DAMN LATE update).

we went clubbin.. these were pictures on a saturday night. ;DD.. there's more on facebook. go see there!

HAHAHAA

don't have space to upload all.

my loves. HAHAAA>. ignore the middle guy. he's just a good friend. ;D

random

2009-08-19T03:12:00.003+08:00

During the first week i came home after sem started. hubby was at my house.

HAHAHAHAAAA

this is what he does when he's bored and trying to cheer me up. HAHAHAA

I know!! my boyfriend may seem weird to you or smth like that.

but i find it cute. hmph! he's MY boyfriend anyway.

so it's the matter of how i see him .:DD

2009-08-19T03:09:00.001+08:00

So i promised hillary i'll update more. HAHAAA>. don't want her to worry about me. ;DDD

will update pictures next so that my blog won't look so shitty and dead.

i'm still alive!

2009-08-17T10:33:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAAA...

i'm so sorry about the 'lefted out' blog. >.<

the past week has been a real hectic one for me. ;DDD

Firstly, i'll start off with i was sick (you guys should know already). fever, flu, cough and so on. But i'm fine now. no more fever, no more flu, JUST the cough.

Then, the next thing would be i started my job at starbucks. HAHAHA.. Got to know a little slightly more about starbucks... i have been working for 3 days already. and i just started learning the Frappucino's. BUT, still not use to it yet,. haven't study or memorize anything. T_______T

Third, CASSON LIEW IS IN SINGAPORE!!!! T______T. lonely, i'm Miss lonely, i have nobody, all my own... ohhhhh~

Forth, I"M HUNGRY RIGH NOW!!!!!!!!

Fifth, uni sucks.... it's the second week and the lady i'm suppose to register with is ON MC!!!! i'm suppose to go straight to a class.. on the way met a new friend 'Rena'. She's from Arabia.. quite pretty i'll say. ;D. and i find it really hilarious when she speaks Arabic very fast especially when she's nervous or in a hurry, and then she'll turn to me saying ''correct?''.. HAHAA.. then i'll give her the blank ''english please'' face. Then she starts laughing and apologizing. HAHAHAHAA.. so cute..

Sixth, i'm late for class again. but waiting for sean. FUCK hungry. T_____T

seventh, i'm hungry

eigth, i'm hungry

ninth, i'm STILL hungry.

tenth... i'm so fat already..

so yup. ten updates about me. HAHAHAAA....

2009-08-12T15:10:00.001+08:00

so. i'm stil sick and hubby decided to bring me go see the doctor.

turns out, it's quite severe. but NOT H1N1. no it's NOT. but antibiotic in my body really low. that's what he say.

and turns out. my fever is 39 degree !!! omg. hubby say if 40 then will go crazy. HAHAAA..

ok. din go class today. but had mc. Then have to rest for fri's work. ugh. well. at least i have to go for the first impression.;D

2009-08-10T22:03:00.001+08:00

ugh.

feel so sick.. i feel like puking any minute..

T_______T

waiting for hubby's dinner. he's cooking tonight.

feel so dead.

me, myself and i

2009-08-10T14:43:00.002+08:00

so, i'm back at KL right now. and was pretty emo shit.

1stly: the mom thingy.

2ndly: the bf thingy.

and

3rdly: the self-thingy.

Everything seems such a big thing, like who i really was, or what i really was and all that. i'm tired of arguing, to speak out for my rights,guess after the few months of trying to speak out my points have just left be to nothing but being a bitch. Sometimes i feel that enplaning something to someone isn't as easy as teaching them ABC. People are getting so rebellious right now, it's like words can[t prove anything. you need incidents, or situations to happen to prove to them, and even incidents or experience people see are slightly different than what you thought and feel. I wanted to argue, but didn't want to look as if i'm covering up my ass, so i just shut up. But instead, my heart was torn into pieces. The disappointment in myself. I should have been smarter, to be more aware of surroundings and make it clear so that people will not accuse me or think wrong of me.

Maybe the oldself me was better. Though, whatever i do is never perfect enough for you. Never gonna be THE ONE. Everything i do, i do it for you. even if i did it for you and you didn't know, but yet you feel that i'm changing. it doesn't matter. i'll just have to find a way thru.

Then another burden come on me and i feel the stress around me. I try not to care, not to think and stay away from it. but fingers are still pointing at me. what else can i do? i can tell people, i can't talk to them about it. Things happening inside and outside. It's as if, there's no where i could run and hide.

But now, with a new job, starbucks. I hope, things would be so much better. and from there, i can show you, you and you. i am not who you think i am. call me a bitch and i don't care. i'm gonne find what i want. MY WAY!

Don't confuse me.

2009-08-09T22:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really wonder what you are thinking. Though i sometimes i feel that i'm nobody. Not someone to judge you or stand in your way. but after all this time. Don't tell me feelings never occur between us? The toleration i have to go through. Sometimes i'm sick of all your bullshit and stop treating me like this.

At times i wanna stand up and just hit the table and tell you that you're so stupid, but at times i feel that maybe it's not worth it. Whenever you smile and put a smile on my face, i forget about everything, all the frustration and the hate within me. But whenever things like this happens, i feel so .. UGH!. i can't say i hate u. cz i love too much to hate. Sometimes i feel that you're just so darn selfish but i daren't say anything. wtf.

*sigh*. i don't want to write much in case you understand what i write. anyway, a lesson to learn? Maybe i should stop trying to put so much effort and wait for you to put more. cz at times i feel like an idiot like i'm so despo for it.

don't want to say much. ciao

officiallly employed. >.<

2009-08-07T00:50:00.002+08:00

So yes... as my titled says it. ;D.. i'm officially a starbucks employee right now. HAHAAA.. heard from my friend she tried to get the job but she didn't. even carol didn't get it!! HAHAA.. well, cz they fella was like they don't have empty vacancy. so. oh well. ;D. it was my luck..

So, went thru a BIG HELL INTERVIEW which i was sweating my palms off. HAHAA. but hey! i finally got it. ;DD
now to mention what i'm gonna face. 1st month it's gonna be lots of things to do. cz there's actually a test!!!! well, who expected that working at starbucks there's a test to go? But from what i heard from my manager, she say so far no one has failed. HAHAA.. 17 chapter in 4 weekss.... hmm. that means 5 chapter A WEEK!!!!. hope it's not hard. . but somehow i'm realllllyy looking forward toward it. ;DDDD

but one troublesome thing. i need to have my EPF done. wth. ugh.

Gonna start the training NEXT weekend. but before that, i have to go to a first impression thingy. (not sure what's that. but have to wear formally for F&B [food and beverage]. So then, after that, need to go down to Berjaya Time Square for 2 days training.. well, more like one and a half day. HAHAAA....
oh!!! and i get to learn the recipe of ALL the coffee's and beverage there! HAHAA. ;D. yay to me.. i've got a boyfriend who is DEEPLY in love with coffee. HAHAAA.. maybe part of me is wanting to learn more is cz of him;D

so.. HAHAAA.. wish me luck and all the best. though i know it's gonna be all about TIME MANAGEMENT!!!!

yesterday....

2009-08-05T19:08:00.002+08:00

all my troubles seems so far away.~~~~

lalalalalalalala- stupid song stuck in my head.

ANYWAY. really random pictures of yesterday. Hubby had presentation ytd. (first time ever he wore nicely to class). all his classmates were shocked. i'm seriously. it's like seeing cinderella in her wedding gown. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA... anyway, we went to eat pork noodle at ss15 for lunch..

then i went t pyramid. bought a hair dryer. >.< . some stuff. and magazine. ;DDD buahahahaaa

then hubby came and find me. poor thing. by the time he found me. he was all sweating from all the walking. HAHAA

then we had secret recipe.. WOHOOOO

mini burgers. blueberry cheese cake . ice lemon tea. ;DDDD

i'm in love with mini burgers. with ALPHABETS FRENCH FRIES!!!!! omg. i sound like a kid seriously.

i just sudden know what about be the best birthday cake. HAHAAAA.. *hint*hint*.

a new york cheese cake. ;D. with FRESH STRAWBERRIES ON TOP!!!!!. too bad they don't have fresh blueberries HAHAAA..

if not. blue berry cheese cake with strawberries!!!!. omg.. blueberry cheese cake with fresh strawberries. AHHHHHHHH.... i want that. HAHAHAAAA.. i'm being so obvious right now.

>.<

broadband piss me off

2009-08-05T01:17:00.000+08:00

argh. internet connection is NOT STRONG ENOUGH!!!.. so much things i wanna blog about. but yet.

stupid connection. blah.!!! it won't update my photo's. *sigh*

this IS something

2009-08-02T21:45:00.002+08:00

Ever heard of Urban dictionary? HAHAAA.. if it wasn't for xian i wouldn't even know too.;D.

it has the funniest thing. some are quite true. HAHAHAA

check this out..

1. Catherine

Hella orgasmic cosmopolitan mama with no babies. Wicked, happy, and the sexiest piece of ass your pearly whites will never sink in to.

An amazing individual who beasts at everything. She takes crap from no one and makes people laugh like there's no fucking tomorrow. Sweet most of the time but will shut a bitch up quick. Shes athletic and loves music.. and shes a sexy piece of ass as well.

a girl who never gives up hope never lets out how she feels and keeps it all locked up inside she tries to laugh but life isnt a joke.shes pretty wonderful

A really really great person. Regarded by most as the greatest, sweetest, awesomest, coolest, nicest, and greatest thing thats ever happened to their lives.

an interesting little chick who is mostly crazy all the time and enjoys random songs by demi lavoto and hillsong. she happens to be a very good best friend and seems to be addicted to music....and whipped cream. she hates cats.

2. Jeanette

A very sexy young woman with a great ass and nice tits. Also very flirtatious.

trashy ass hoe bitch,
a mother who is very old but awesome and crazy.
takes care of her baby like a lion.

HAHAHAAAAAAA..

HAHAA

2009-08-02T21:25:00.002+08:00

Everyone who has a laptop has trouble trying to cool down their laptop. buying laptop coolers, and finding ways to cool their laptop. Isn't it? Those overseas.. i don't know. But those n m'sia here. It's definately.

Some has gone through cases like laptop shutting off by itself cz it's too hot. I have gone through a case that my laptop wouldn't charger because the ADAPTER was overheated. But this morning. I found my laptop off. And i tried to turn it on. But i couldn't. And when i touhed it. it was COLD> like you just took it out from the fridge. HAHAHAAA.. so it just wouldn't turn on. We open the door. Took the battery out. off the aircon. and waited for like 2 min. and turn it on again. it worked

well, this proves that laptop can't be used if it's too cold either. HAHAA..

i swear. never in my year i've used my mac that it's been that cold. HAHAA

♥ We are sisters. ♥

2009-08-02T01:49:00.001+08:00

♥ love sayang. ;DDDDD

hehez..

i was looking thru random files trying to sort it out when i found these.. HAHA

I MISS YOU LE~ ♥

=/

2009-08-01T19:09:00.000+08:00

i so wanna cry... badly.

another update.

2009-08-01T19:00:00.003+08:00

Finally. I'm going to update at least a little about me.

hmmm.. still no full internet access. But got back my hsdpa. (though it's not very fast).

anyway, been staying at laine's place for the past few days. that's why no internet.

Yesterday, went to help gacky with her assignments. (will update on it later on with pictures from her). HAHAHAA..

ok.. very short brief about what happened. as you all know, my grandfather has passed away. And so. we mourned it the tradtional way. so, there's this thing that we aren't suppose to go into any house which has a SAN TOI (those mini buddhist temple). cz apparently, it brings bad luck. yea...

and such unlucky case for me. HUBBY has a guan ying san toi at home. So i can't go in. First night, i had to help hubby with his work. So we went to starbucks and mcD. so didn't sleep the whole night. But at 7am. we knocked out. ( because i haven't been sleeping for the past 2 days too). So, i fell as leep in the car. yup. the car.

THEN. the next night, we stayed at laine's. OMGIOWEYOUBIGONE!. So then. it's been hubby running up and down usj and his place tkaing things for me.

Sem is starting next week. Don't know where i would be staying. maybe at grace's. *sigh*. i feel i'm troubling everyone and i feel really really really bad about it.=/

Going back ipoh this week. Miss you BFF. ;DDD..

short update

2009-07-30T21:32:00.001+08:00

lately, lots have happened..

but i wanna tell to my BFF. i'm ok sayang. ;D. i miss you. can't wait to see u. hehez. ;DDDD

anyway..

will update as soon as i have internet access

love,

cathy

don't know what to write

2009-07-27T05:26:00.002+08:00

Grandpa passed away early in the morning on Sunday. according to my brother, he passed away in his sleep. and i'm going back to Ipoh tomorrow with lainey, Lay Chian and Kim Shung as the driver.

Ming*2 jie jie went back today and asked me if i wanted to follow. but i had to pass things to Aivan. so i couldn't. celaka u all.

anyway, i cried.

i cold rmb 5 years back. it was a sunday morning too when i got the phone call from mom about grandma. Well at least now the both of them could be reunited again. But then it came to me then our Gigantic huge family might not reunite as much as it use to as right now he's not here anymore. Well, don't think so far. We'll know sooner or later.

But for me. i felt right now that, at least he was part of my life. I was one of his grandchildren (although he has hundreds). Dad must be feeling really down. He called me today. Tried to cheered him up, as i'm his little princess, but dont know if it worked.

Soooo, removing all red nail polish. (my toe nails were red). and no red clothes for the next 100 days.

Been really busy the whole day, trying to do things here and there not thinking about it.

but no it's 5.32am. thinking of taking a break from work. And here i am thinking of him. and i'm crying. and listening to the song 'you are not alone' by michael jackson is not making me feel better. and all sudden i feel a cold breeze. like he's here.

Somehow, i didn't feel so bad as he really had a long life and i helped him when he fell. Although when i left on last thursday. i said good bye to him. I don't know. Something just told me i had to. and i went into his room and said good bye to him. But he didn't remember me at all. and he smiled at me. The very last time he did.

Maybe god gave me the push the say good bye to him that one very last time. and i remember. he smiled and waved. something he didn't do for ages.

Although, we didn't grow up living together. We didn't really have close relationship and so on. But we did have short memories. Like when he moved in here 6 years ago. He and grandma would sit there just listen to me crap about something they didn't understand. But i bet seeing us happy made him happy.

I knw mom's gonna be really emo, but i don't know what i'm gonna do. hope i wonder start screaming at her when she annoys me again.

R.I.P ah gong (grandpa). or mai hai gong gong. that's what we use to call him. sell shoe grandpa.

we all love u.

another out

2009-07-27T02:12:00.004+08:00

So, it was Kevin's birthday... So many people birthday. OMG.

we went to Dragon-i for dinner..

after that we went to poppy.

pls forgive the ugliness of me. ;D

so enjoy the random pictures. ;D

something to crack me up

2009-07-27T02:10:00.001+08:00

It's funny how you tell me we're gonna work all night but it turns out that i would be the only one.

or how you lie in bed saying you're thinking. thinking.

and the next minute

yyou're snoring. HAHAHAA

that's dreaming you idiot! HAHAHAAA

you are so funny. you piss me but you make me laugh.

Last day.

2009-07-22T18:45:00.006+08:00

So, it's my last day in Ipoh. ;DDDD

for the next couple of weeks.. BUAHAHAHAAAA....

bought loads of stuff. ;DD..

i bedazzled my external USb port. my mouse. ;D. gonna do my harddisk NEXT. and soon mua phone. ;D

bought lipstick, sunblock, and mascara (cz mine finished).

also bought MAGAZINESSSS.. and cloud cleansing foam.

HAHAHAA...

gonna do facial mask later on. pamper myself first.. later go back kl cannot do so much later hubby complain this and that and he can see my hideous face..;DDDD

heard from hubby going to poppy tomorrow night. ;D.

i want a camera!!! gonna dig for one somewhere.. hope can find. HAHA.

haven't even packkkkkk..=/. maybe later on somewer

e in the middle of the night.

also bought my laptop a usb FAN. HAHAA.. and also the

spped snap ball.;D.

i would take picture of it. but it's just pointless as my came

ra is not here..

___

was browing thru facebook pictures. HAHAA...

my mom came in... it was pictures of Rum Jungle on last sat nigh

t..

this is what she said to the pictures....

''WHOA... who's that girl? why she lean on your boyfriend ge?''

''mom.. it's the millennium right now. don't so out la!. btw, she's his friend!''

''yor... where can like that?''

''hahaa.. don't know?''

''wa.. why casson hair stand so straight one?''

* * * * *

then my mom saw this..

'ahyoorrrrr.. yam gong lo.. why you so short ge?''

'sigh.. what to do? btw, it's cute ok? can make casson look bigger size ma''

''you a.! what also for him!. why this

girl here again ge?''

''she was there the night ma!''

'oh! casson hair so long d. ask him cut la! is that su xian?''

'yea. w

hy?''

''is she smoking?''

'no.. she was digging her teeth cz got rambutan stuck in her teeth'

''whoa.. why she do in public? lucky cannot see c

lear'' (SHE FELL FOR THAT!!!)

HAHAAHAAAAA..

------

i'm gonna miss you sayangg....

picturesssss

2009-07-21T03:29:00.004+08:00

i'm such a random camwhore. HAHAHAHAHAAAA
and i just grab xians' phone and snap snap SNAP!!!! . ;DDDDD

i was done.. but she wasn't. HAHAHAAA
secret recipe. ;DDD
shouldn't have taken pictures of the food. HAHAHAAAA..
next time. ;D

notice the waiter behind???

damn poyo face of mine. HAHAHAAAA

wa cinta luuuuuu ;DDDD

2009-07-21T01:43:00.002+08:00

hehez.. i love u so much. ;D

____

today went to remake my ic and cost me friggin RM10!!!!!! they charge under cip rosak .__. wth right.

anyway.. we went to parade after that.. and then LONG kAI!!!..
at night went yum cha with pip, manda , xian and issac. i drove this time. HAHHAAA..

stupid fellas go give wrong direction! *lucky no car*. HAHAHHAAAA

anywayyy....

came home before midnight. HAHAA (5 min before midnight).. well, it's STILl considered as before midnight. ;D.

and just sat on my laptop. HAHAHAHAAAAAA

fun night out. ;DD

2009-07-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

So we went to check out Rum Jungle.

it was not bad la. i like the fact that it's air-conditioned. ;DDD

songs were.......

i don't think it was any better anyway.

but here are some photos..

taken with xian's LG phone. ;DD

have a few with Eunis also. but have to wait. ;D

From liying.

2009-07-19T21:56:00.001+08:00

Do you know what love is?

It's so funny how life changes so fast. How things turn either fantastically or horribly the next second or day? I know what I said is the "I-know-you-don't-have-to-tell-me-common-sense-thing" but just let me have my moments of reflection.

What about hope? Hope is what drives me, you, all of us. So does faith. Faith in what you're doing so you can continue having hope. I thought I had hope. Apparently I was wrong. When I sunk to a point where my life or existence didn't matter to me anymore, you where there. For a while, I thought that 'Hey, maybe it's not so bad. Having someone to care, love and look after you'. I thought that I could let my guard down and get to be pampered. Some thing I've been longing for. However, what you might not understand can turn someone's hope in to dust.

Sure, I may be childish, irresponsible, a-bit-clingy, attention wanting. After all, I am still a kid. Technically still 18.

I crave to be loved. To be loved as I have loved. Whether one sees it, well.. it's up to them hey? It's also funny how people can complain about their past and not having receive love from the person they love and cherish. And when there's someone to love you unconditionally, you can't see it. You just don't love them nor appreciate it. You take them for granted.

( but now i'm finally being loved. i love you and i appreciate you. you're the best . ;D )

On the other hand, no matter how you mistreat us, we'll still be there. Waiting for every chance to get closer to you. To have you near, hoping to hold you close although it pains us to know that may never come. To hear your woes, your anger, your silent screams, your frustrations. We love you unconditionally, for who you are and your flaws. People may tell us to leave you. To find someone better cause we deserve someone better. But it's so hard to let go. Having to kill the one thing that motivates us to breathe. You may think it's a childish, immature thing to say but for some, it's the only thing that keeps us moving. Having lost that, is like walking around in the dark, stripped senseless of direction, emotion and motivation.
(i feel it there. the power of true love. ;D u never hate )

Love. You cannot. I repeat. Cannot love someone partially. It's either you do or you don't. Despite the fact that the person may drive you up the wall occasionally. After awhile you look past these things and see the inner beauty. Look on the good side. We are all imperfect but somewhere inside there's something good in all of us. Love is when you can look past these flaws and love them for who they are.

( i love you all for who you are and what you are. Every single side of you. )

Love. You care about the person unconditionally. Whether they are near or far. You want to spend time with them. Cuddle with them. Do things together. Even simple things like spending a night watching a movie at home or out for a walk. You try. Cause for all these effort, in the end you know it's worth it, having the person you love beside you and with you. That's the reason why some complain their partner is clingy or too attached. We want to spend time with you, every minute, every day, every second. Sure we all need personal spaces, so make time to go out with your friends. We all do. Hell, even I would complain if I couldn't see my friends.

(^^. so TOTALLY agree here. )

Love. Is a learning process. It may be my first but if you love a person. Teach them. Grow with them. That is what makes you stronger. Makes us stronger if we learn. If you don't teach us, how will we ever learn? Go through the pain one after another and learn it the hard way? If you can, at least show us the way so our future prospects of relationship does not have to be as painful as this.

Love. Do not lie about it. Do not say it due to stress/peer pressure/guilt/etc. You're doing harm for both yourself and the other. If it's not love, still do not lie about wanting to be together and thinking of a future. It gives us hope. Do it out of your own initiation. Cause you want to. You do not know how much it hurts when on the other side, we realize that it was all just a lie. It hurts even more when we're in love with you. It's as bad as someone telling someone close to you has just died in an accident. Or a knife being stabbed in your heart. Yes. You can literally feel the pain and loss and hurt from the lies when we all thought it was the truth.

And even what we went through hurts like hell and thought that we would hate you. No. Being in love with you takes away all the negativity. All the lies. And even if you were to continue telling the lie of loving us. We would accept it readily. That is how much love I'm talking about. Tell us all the lies as long as you'll be here beside us.

( i feel that if you really love that person. you won't be able to use the word hate to him or her at all. ;D )

Lovers. You're suppose to be the best friend and something more to us. Where we have no secrets to hide. No past hidden from each other. Trust. And even it is something bad, look forward to the future together. Something that you don't see eye-to-eye with? Discuss calmly, and make the best compromise together and also keeping in mind what your partner has in mind too. No burden is too heavy to bear. And we all have our pet peeves. Don't keep it in til the day comes when you explode and we have no clue what is going on. Love also comes with patience. We all forget once in a while what you don't like or like. All I can say that the key to a healthy relationship is compromising. Alot. And also spending time together whenever you can. Take a date, somewhere romantic once in a while. Money SHOULD NOT be a problem. If you save up 2-dollars a day, by the end of the month there should be enough for even a table somewhere for two. Just don't keep thinking expensive stuff. We'd be even be happy if you could take us out for dinner or a movie once a month. Something special.

( i totally agree.. that's how hubby and i are. ;D. and i'm really happy to have him.. it's not everytime you meet someone like this )

Nothing is too much or little when you're in a relationship. It is not an obligation to do somethings. We do it cause we know it makes you happy. So we do it cause we want to make you happy.

Falling out of love. Moving on. Finding someone new. Or time heals. I personally don't believe either one of these is fully true. Somehow, somewhere deep inside. That special person will always remain. And somehow, you'll still love them for the happy memories you once had together. Getting over someone really quickly is just a sign of lust, like or a bit of attraction. Not love. I believe that when you love someone. They'll always be a part of you. The memories are always there.

( memories are the best thing and i wouldn't regret at all whatever happens at the end because nobody would be able to give me memories like how hubby does. ;D )

They do say love is a very complicated thing. Well, yea in a way it is. Some people may not know if their in love or it's just friendship, and feelings are just confusing. But once you meet that very someone, you would know if it's him or her. Loving someone, you're just so willing to sacrifice everything, to do everything you can to help them. To put the care and the time for them, it's not something everyone would do. Some would do for the interest that it's something new, but after a short period, they'll feel annoyed, or not in the interest anymore. But true love stays. Forever. and it's as if the world has stopped and you'll never had to worry about ''ONE DAY .. what if '''.....

hubby. u're all to me. i love u.

being oh so random

2009-07-16T01:03:00.002+08:00

i wish my boyfriend's a camwhore..i'm speaking about the one who will actually GET A PROPERY DIGITAL CAMERA and camwhore with it.. but not with hp punya..

and the one that will love to take picture!!! but not JUST HIM TRYING ON CLOTHES

.____.

faster camwhore la u...

HAHAHAHAAAA... we got not enough pictures a...

i'm like dead tired right now.. but.. who care?????

my friend is turning gay.. HAHAAA.. yeay~ wait.. why am i so happy? well at least he know's he's happy. hahaa

Brontophobia

2009-07-15T22:28:00.002+08:00

i missed you and need you, but you're so busy, it never occurred to you at all.

last night, thunderstorm woke me up. and i cried. like a baby in bed. shivering and hugging my teddy wishing you would be here with me.

The days you hugged me when there was thunderstorm. My house was strike 3 times.

I'm dead tired and i wanna sleep. but i don't dare cz it seems like it's going to rain.

What if there's going to be another thunderstorm?

i rolled up in my blanket and stacked up my pillow under me.. and at the end, i dragged everything under the table.. covered myself up there and fell asleep crying.

i want you. and just telling you i want you just makes me wanna cry.

i miss you. i miss stitches. i need you.

..

2009-07-15T21:18:00.002+08:00

i'm sick and nobody gives a shit about me.

i've been having a flu for 5 days d.. STUPID!!! such a headache and having fever..

not swine flu k? i don't have diarrea or any worst thing..

sigh...

is there any magic miracle that can make the stupid flu go away?

i wanna take medicine.. but wtf.. parents don't let worr...

how i wish hubby was here then he can bring me so doc and can have some medi for the stupid flu.

...

2009-07-15T02:51:00.003+08:00

i'm so stupid right?

was webcamming with boyfriend and i told him i go bath.. i came back 10 min's later to see him not there.. and i waited..

AFTER 2 hours!!!! i will still waiting... so stupid right?

from 1 wait till 3.... sigh.. So......

only found out he's sleeping from his bro..

i'm also going to sleep d.feel so stupid

bfff

2009-07-15T02:40:00.000+08:00

crazy girl..

HAHAHAHAAA

FASTER COME BACK!!!

random again

2009-07-13T23:08:00.001+08:00

imagine me in short hair.

random

2009-07-13T21:30:00.002+08:00

Just got back from dinner...
loved my hair right now..
it's not everyday it stays so nice..

camwhore. random..

and really pissed... that i'm gonna kill someone.

>.<

2009-07-13T18:22:00.002+08:00

Don't kill me.... HAHAHAA

Randomly going thru facebook when i saw this. ;DD

(well, i love collecting hubby's picture. it's not a crime right?)

The one in black..

looks small from here. HAHAHA.. this was like 4 years ago..

p/s. i didn't know he couldn't play that..

spot him here. HAHAHA

he looks so tan... ^^

don't want to be flattening here. HAHAA

those days

2009-07-13T04:27:00.002+08:00

i remember..
this was the picture hubby put as his profile picture when i first met him. HAHAAAA
his friendster profile picture. and it never changed for the next 6 months. HAHAA

compare to now...

so much difference d..
HAHAHAHAHAAA

being useless

2009-07-13T04:11:00.002+08:00

Everytime i walk down the street, i see those skinny girls with long nice legs,
or sexy tight ass, or a firm body waist, or even a pair of big bouncy boobs..

it just made me feel bad cz u're stuck with me. the ugly, fat, short, small boobs nobody.

can't be the one u go ''my girlfriend's HOT!''.

i'm sorry i'm crazy over strawberries and blueberries and what more teddy bears.

I'm sorry i love candy more than diamonds.

I've got a big nose and i really can't help it.

I've got kinky hair which i wish i didn't have.

My hair don't stay the same, my smell don't smell any better, my eyes are single eye-lids and my lips are the ugliest of all.

last, i suck at fashion.

i look like a 14 year old girl wearing her older sister's clothes not knowing what fashion is.

i've got a fat tummy and a flabby ass.

I love food but yet i gain weight. i go for work out but i've got exercise-induced...

how i hate this.

i'm stupid and clumsy. you take forever to explain something to me. .i never do things right and i'm always saying things at the wrong place at the wrong time..

i feel so useless all sudden.

AHHHHHHHH

2009-07-13T03:31:00.001+08:00

OMG!!!!! these are ice-creams.. T_______T
i wanna eat them.. but if i have them..
how can i resist to lick them and eat them?

soooo cuttteeeee

desperate shit

2009-07-13T03:28:00.001+08:00

See how desperate my uni is....

Introduce your friends to register at Limkokwing University and get rewarded!

Introduce 1 friend and get RM600
Introduce 3 friends and get RM2,000
Introduce 5 friends and get a MacBook Pro worth RM6,000

Term & Conditions

The introducer must be a registered student at the Limkokwing University.
The introducer must accompany the applicant during the initial counseling. If unable to do so, a certification letter from the introducer is required.
The introducer and applicant are to fill up the Friend get a Friend Form.
The Counsellor present is to fill in and initial the remark section.
All applicants must be accompanied by the introducer during application or the introducer may submit the application form on behalf.
For verification, the introducer must submit all completed applications to the Marketing Department accompanied with a copy of the tuition fee receipt (from the applicant and a photo copy of the introducer's ID card).
All rewards will be settled within one month of processing.

Offer Available until 31st July 2009.

.___. and it's real....

the thing that bugs me is.... i introduce my friend.. i somemore have to go true all that process a???

but sure la..they won't just give the money to u just like that..

omg. they're so desperate.. i received a mail from them.. that's how i knew..

Laughs.

2009-07-13T02:54:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!!
kaniiiiii
stupid boyfriend of mine.
HAHAHAAA..

spade shape.. he go say space ship.. >.<

so big difference and made me misunderstad..

dinasour got small brain. but godzilla got spelling error. HAHAHAA

finally

2009-07-10T00:53:00.002+08:00

So, finally, we manage to watch Transformers.;D. i knowwww... hubby got loads of work and he sacrifice his time to watch with me. ;DDDD. see how much he love me. HAHAHAA

we bought the tickets one day earlier. and we got a very nice seat. =p

i'm not good at reviews. and i guess everyone (well almost) has watched it. ;DD
but i can say. i almost cried at few parts. hehehez

p/s. the whole movie was almost 3 hours!!

she's hot!
hahaa.. well. i won't go ga ga over her..
BUT, she has a helll of body there.

___
few movies coming up more.;D.
but don't know hubby will have time or not.

History repeating itself

2009-07-09T00:01:00.002+08:00

Being able to runaway for the 5 days.. i thought it would be the best for me. i tried talking to someone. Someone who was not in my shoe, to see what they think and maybe get some advice form them, during the conversation i actually totally agreed with them. But then, when i'm alone. thinking. bored. I start to wonder. Should i? Should i not? I mean, i don't think it's wrong for me to think what i'm thinking right now right.

_________

Thoughts that are in my mind are;

1. should i be EVEN thinking about it?

2. What difference would it make even if i knew?

3. Does it effect me at all?

4. What is it such a big deal that i can't know?

5. What have i done to deserve this?

6. What should i do?

_____________

Then it came to me that maybe i should STOP thinking about it and get on with my life. 'Take what i have, and create something better'' this was a principle i made up myself, a motivation for me to go forward. Then to look in front. i'm no where. Not even near sucess. I'm not in a medical school, or a law school, not even BUSINESS! i'm in the creative design industry. OK! this is important right? without us they'll be no one to capture the beauty, they will be no media, no advert and etc etc etc.. But then, where am i ? i'm just a university studeny in a very crappy university.

Then, all my friends are doing part time jobs here and there. Earning money here and there. Me? nothing.

If there were One in a Million i'll definately join and get that million! then i don't have to trouble all this.

Then to think, i suck at drawing. hubby's drawing is way much better than me right now. I'm not creative. i'm clumsy and i'm stupid. I can't take a nice photo and i suck at computer graphics. what i can do, anyone could have done better.

_____
Ten reasons i took this course:
1. It's design, (art)
2. there's no test
3. No memorizing whole text book
4. No theory test (maths/science)
5. No proper essay writing
6. No stress on exams
7. No quiz
8. it's art a.k.a. fun
9. No LOOONG lectures
10. i hate studying!!!!!

___
ok. maybe there are small minor quiz and test. but they consist 10 marks of the whole grade. at least i don't have to memorize the WHOLE book for a test which if i fail i'll fail.

.....

what if i pass? and graduate. what do i do??? what can i work?? i hope there will be somewhere.

well, it would be so much easier if i could just marry off some rich guy and just screw life!!!!
.________________________________________________.

i hate secrets! i hate them!!!!

i'm a shopaholic

2009-07-07T01:44:00.002+08:00

so, i'm finally going down on KL tomorrow. ;DDD
hubby and i can't wait to see each other. OMG!!!

i miss you!! can't wait to see you!!! Won't be coming online for the next few days, till friday.;DD cz i didn't bring my laptop. But i will be using hubby's laptop a while la. HAHAHAHAA
;DDDD
OMGOMGOMGOMG!! so excited. hahahaaa.. i sound like a lil kid right now. ;DD
i'm as excited as when i was getting my new LG ICE CREAM PHONE!!!
weeeeee >.< *spins around the chair*

i'm a shopaholic. OMG!! >.<
i went to parade with shanice today..
and OMG!! why do those clothes have to fit me so perfectly!!!!!!!!
i bought two shorts!!!!! one blackish grey with white strips vertically. and a white one with black vertical horizontal lines that create boxes. OMG!!! they were like so fit!!! T___T i rarely fit into shorts like that.. and they were ON SALE!!! they were each Rm33.. >.< .. THEN THEN THEN THEN!!!! there was this top!! i've been eyeing on a for long time!!!! and it was on discount!!!! RM19!!!!!!! how can i not buy it????? so i bought it also. >.<>.< they had the 3 for 10 stockings i wanted. T______T. so i got them also......then finallly!!! when i was paying.. i saw the tube top!!!! the black tube top with a lil lace on top... T__________________________________________________________________________T .. i twas Rm6.. so i got that also..cz i wanted one like that..

so.. *sigh*..... OMG!!! i need to stop going with girls!!!!! i need to go with hubby!! because hubby will stop me!!! hubby would go ''what for la??''.... ''' are you done yet????''.... ''don't you have one like this??''.....''is it necessary to have it??''.... T_______________________________________T

ok.. but still... i spend from the money my dad gave me to eat. so.. HAHAHAA. HELL YEA!!! OMG!! hubby is so gonna kill me if he really reads my blog carefully...

..

2009-07-06T19:45:00.002+08:00

i was doubting to go or not to go cz i thought by going will just piss you off..

BUT!!!!! i haven't make up my mind and you piss me off..

so now i made up my mind i'm fucking going!!!!!!!

You don't believe me. i don't give a shit!! but you never even bother giving me face?

Going through people's private?

Please. yea. i owe you my life.

But do i have to give my entire life to you??

If i'm suppose to... Then you shouldn't give me the least hope at all...

Don't blame me for not understanding things because SOMEONE else isn't telling me things..

and i don't understand..

So.. fuck you all and i'm going to do what i wanna do.

how i spend a sat without hubby

2009-07-06T02:39:00.004+08:00

So, this weekend hubby din come back. and then friends asked to go out. and i was late..hmm.. thanks to someone..

now i have a bad impression on my friend d... sigh...

So anyway, random pictures.. i looks fat.. some say i look pregnant.. don't give a shit. HAHAAA..

there are more pictures in facebook. ;D. so yeaaa..;DDD

here are some.

a very late update

2009-07-06T02:31:00.001+08:00

Yea... HAHAA. a very late update..

went out with xian when she came back.;D (now she's in singapore)

soo.. yea. ;DD
hehez...
i miss her..
COME BACK AND WE HAVE SUSHI AGAIN!!!

sigh

2009-07-04T23:35:00.001+08:00

don't like this

...

2009-07-04T03:10:00.002+08:00

Don't blame me when i'm being so suspicious..

When thoughts wonder through my head.

at times i really wanna ask you

is it true?

is that what happened?

but then, i just dont know how to open it to you.

Just maybe,

Deep inside somewhere.

i'm still soft-hearted.

i don't know why..

i thought you would understand.

but i guess you dont.

Random

2009-07-04T01:45:00.002+08:00

This is so random..

but still..

i don't know how to clear them.. SO LAZY!!!

hahahaaa

baaaaaaaa

2009-07-03T22:15:00.003+08:00

i hate it right here =/
i miss you.
i miss life there.
i miss eating the food there..

*sigh*.

i'm seriously too sad to express how i feel.
i want to go back to KL.a
this is bad.

me don't likey..

i'm been doing nothing but rottt and grow mushrooms all over me...

____

this is so not fair.
i won't be watching transformers with u.
or Ice Age 3.
or Up
or whatever movie which is coming up.

i'm so. ARGH. so unfair.

everything is bothering me.
and i have to pretend that i know nothing.
what the fuck.
Fuck you la! who thinks you're everything.

Shit asshole..
asking stupid questions.
lame questions.
saying want bonding time.
i don't even want it with u!!!
you make me suffer and i still have to tolerate more.

SHIT YOU LA!!!!
nia seng. seriously.

___________________
it's july already so fast.
sigh.
Then august coming.
Then sept
and then my b'day.
and then will be another 3 months holiday
._____.
and then x'mas
OMG!!!
then our anniversary. (new years)
then Feb come..
*sniff*
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!

____________

*ok. deep feelings now*
i actually am excited to go to perth.
liying there
new life.
new enviroment.
finally saying ''OH! i'm in aussie now!''
(i don't give a shit if i sound like a snob or what now).
to get to know new friends.
new place.
IPHONE!!!
beach.
nice wheather (unlike humid heaty m'sia)
and can leave all this shit

but...
half of me wants to cry.
my comfort.
my convenient.
my friends (though liying, jacent, jiamin are there)
i wont be here when THONG SU-XIAN COMES BACK!!!
my boyfriend.

sigh..... feeling so insecure already.

____
then, kinda think of it.
if i gotten in RMIT.
i would be in Melbourne now d.

Then. if i was in UniSA.
i would be there for 6 months d.
OMG!!!
time is passing by so fucking fast.

.________.

_______________________________

hubby, i miss you eh. Don't know you got miss me or not jek?
i know sure you say i sampat now ge la. *sigh*.
what to do? wibby is so sampat ge la.
This week thought you would come back ge.
but you didn't.
Lucky wibby understand you jek? if not then you really sei foh lo.
This 3 weeks i come back really miss you.
nothing to do.
Noone play with me also.
Only casey and naco. But they all also don't know how to talk to me or play with me ge.
Stitches ask me to tell you he miss you also and ask you not to bully moo moo.

i miss you.
oh god.
don't know when only i can see you again.
Now my mind thinking if i go aussie.
i'm so gonna miss you like hell.
sure cry.
=/

a very late update

2009-07-02T19:27:00.003+08:00

So, last week....
we went to Krave..
was suppose to go Houz. but then hubby and his friends were at Krave. and since they were only a few of us. so we wen to Krave. ;DDD

and here are some really random pictures.

Hubby and i.

zyenh and i.. (outside the toilet)
hahaa.. ivy was suppose to be here. ^^
but she missed it. hahaaa

confession

2009-07-02T02:32:00.002+08:00

okie..
so it's confession time. >.<
it's been like AGES since i've done this confession thing.

okay. more like years..

my confession.
1. i'm a shopaholic. T____T. ( i REALLY need to restrain myself from shopping.. stupid sales. T___T.. this week. i bought myself a pair of MNG jeans.. THEY WERE ON SALE!!! AND THEY FIT ME NICELY!! T____T how can i not say no to them? and they were last. )
2. When i'm depress i do smth. T__T. ( i wish we wouldn't)
3. i love my boyfriend

>.<

4. i'm being lame and stupid by posting this post.

HAHAHHAAAA

____________________

okie.
so i'm back in ipoh now..

what happened on monday......=)
xian came over in the morning.

J: i'm bored.
C: me too
..

and all sudden in the coversation

let's get hamsters.. ;D.
okie.

J; i'll tell my mom it's yours. or cassons.
C; cool!! i can tell my mom it's yours. ;D

and the next minute. we went to town to buy two hamsters..

We spend monday shopping for animals. ;DDD

I REALLY WANNA SPOIL THEM!!!!

ahh. i wish i had a dog. but hubby is getting one. ;D. so i get to play with it either. HAHAHAHAAA
but i really want one which i can spoil it with (like xian said)

NACO AND CASEY

2009-07-02T00:35:00.002+08:00

So NACO and CASEY are finally with me. ;D

for two weeks.

weeeee

just look at them .;D

random monday.

2009-06-30T11:58:00.003+08:00

hahahaa..

i'm missing it so much. ;DD

my baby CASEY. ;DDD

i'll upload more later. hehez.

missing her

2009-06-29T21:47:00.002+08:00

ahhh.. it's been only few hours. T__T.
and i miss casey already. ;DDDD

___

Today, me and xian went shopping for animals.
we decided in the morning to get a hamster. ;DDD
and we even thought of a plan how to tell our parents.
HAHAHAHAA
so then we went to the shop straight away after brunch.
and bought two female Winter white russian hamster.

i names mine 'CASEY'. and she named hers 'NACO'

and i miss them already.

sigh...

..

i want a dog. T__T
i do hope hubby gets the dog.
then i can play with it. ;DDDDDD

random

2009-06-27T13:24:00.002+08:00

So,
i was browsing thru facebook pictures of my friends.
and saw a former classmate (who is now my senior) , Danny's picture.

p/s. he's a model. (as in REALLY a model)

NOW... the last picture looks like he's not wearing anything.
HAHAHAAAAAA
i don't find him really handsome (maybe it's cz he's not my type).
but he's a darn good model for assignments. HAHAAAA

HUBBY!!! faster go TONE UP!!!
hahahaaaaaa

fucker

2009-06-27T11:53:00.001+08:00

i've been home less than 24 hours.

and i'm being annoyed to death..

i'm going to die any soon already.

why can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

i don't care if you have nothing to do or not.

Do you think you have to right to organize my day?

FUCK YOU!!!

whatever will do

2009-06-27T02:19:00.000+08:00

Call me.

Text me.

Find me.

whatever it is.

At least it's better than nothing.

BORING

2009-06-27T01:09:00.001+08:00

So, today lunch. we had Uncle Seng. after the 1238974578623498234 days ever since we went there to eat. ;D

Really random pictures. HAHAHAAA

look at his face. >.<

bored.

2009-06-26T02:14:00.000+08:00

this is what i do when i'm bored....

Dinner.

2009-06-26T01:53:00.002+08:00

Today, we went to Murni for dinner.

Hmm.. was suppose to meet up with my Uncle. But he had things to do. So we failed to meet up.

Anyway, had my fav Ribena Special. it's actually Blended ice with ribena flaovour with lychee, watermelon and nana de coco .;DDDD... i want one now again. HAHAA

So, then We just had our dinner and went back .;D

blinding me

2009-06-25T23:47:00.003+08:00

i know you don't even bother reading my blog anymore.

so i'm not afraid to write anything.

i'm going back tomorrow.

for 3 to 4 weeks.

and i don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Maybe it's a good thing that it might make your realize how much you miss me?

or maybe i'm just the big joke.

Don't know. don't care.

At times i wanna scream. fuck off!!!

i wanna be screaming for the no reasons for once.

it's not a crime to be emotional. is it?

Is crying wrong? Why do guys scold you even more when you cry?

Can't they tell that we're hurt by these tears?

i sometimes really wonder how you really feel.

what you really think.

Sometimes they say, love blinds us all.

that is so true.

depress

2009-06-25T17:26:00.001+08:00

sigh.

i seriously don't know why we gain weight. T______T

i hate it so much cz there's so many things to eat in this world but yet, we can't eat so much cz we just grow fatter and fatter.

which is sad.

sigh...

i want to eat..

stupid fat!!

Tagged by Susan

2009-06-23T15:41:00.002+08:00

Be honest no matter what, then tag at least fifteen friends...

01. Who was your last text from?
Kevin Wong. ;D

02. Where was your default picture taken?
In my ROom

03. Your relationship status?
In a relationship

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yes

05. What is your current mood?
Sleepy

06. How many siblings do you have?
2

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names
Carol and Matthew

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
Dreamland.

09. Have a crazy side?
YA

10. Ever had a near death experience?
yes

11. Something you do a lot?
Online, sleep. eat. play.

12. Angry at anyone?
not at the MOMENT

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
Erm. the fact that he's my boyfriend???

14. When was the last time you cried?
Few days ago.

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
yes

16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
shouldn't i be dreaming??

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Mom.

18. What is your favorite song?
Lucky

19. What are you doing right now?
Doing this tag in this friggin HEAT

20. Who do you trust right now?
Stitches. HAHAA

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
F.O.S

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
yes

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
Jeanette THONG. ;D Kuan, Susan, Nat, Hubby. and EVEYONE ELSE.;D> they live so close. (in my heart)

24. Describe your life in one word.
sigh.complicated

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
Hubby

26. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping

27. What are you listening to?
The fan...

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
Hubby

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Hubby

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
i dunno?ask him..

31. What is your natural hair color?
Slightly Dark Brown

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Hubby

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
HUBBY also.

34. What do you hear?
nothing but the fan and plastic bag

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
Naturally krinky curl but straighthened.

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
Yes..all the time.especially HIM

37. Do you have a best friend?
yes

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
yes

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
Yes ;DDDDD

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes

41. Are you happy with life right now?
i'm alright.

42. Are you currently jealous?
Yes.of things. not people. ;D

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
Nothing..

44. What were you doing on Friday night?
on the highway from KL to Ipoh.

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
YES

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
yea.

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
always..

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
sick.

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
last night??? i doze off at 2... cz i was helping hubby.

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yes.;D. hubby

i tag;

GACKY, JULZ, HILLARY, PIYAO, LIYING, JACENT, LIMEI, THONG SU-XIAN, CAROL, JANICE, GRACE,

AND EVERYONE ELSE ON MY LIST!

;DD

2009-06-22T17:03:00.001+08:00

Soooo.. the first few picture i took with my new phone. ;DD.. LALALALALAAA..

hubby's work..;DD

nice isn't it? HAHAHAAA

yes yes yes. ;DDD

2009-06-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

it's FINALLY in my hands.. being the official owener of my new phone.. =p

i'm so loving it..

my bro saw it.. and ask if we could switch phone cz he say he likes my phone...

NO WAY!!! buahahaa.. and hubby say it's cool.;DD

so.. tell me.. HOW can you NOT love the icecream. lalalalaaa.. i'm posting this. while charging my new ice cream phone eating an ice cream. hehez..