i love the way you hold me in your arms,
i love the way you touch me,
i love the way you give me small suprise kisses,
i love the way you smile at me,
i love everything about you.

Think with your heart instead of your mind. You think too much with your head. Your heart will show you the way.

You are my heart, my hope, my help
My prayer has answered me
The whole of which I am a part
My sole, my ecstacy

You are my past, present, future
My ship, my sail, my ocean
The breeze in the wind, and
The home for every motion

You are my love, my friend, my family
The breath that I must breathe
The passion of my hope
The beat that my heart sings

You are my everything...

You have been "there, then, and now"
For "there" when you were with
For "then" in the past, and
For "now" all through this

This is why people "happy"
Call it happiness
For you are My Valentine
My sweet love and bliss

-josh m

damnit...
again i made a fool out of myself.
i wonder,
when will i stop and start controlling.
i love you,
and please don't ask me not to love,
cz i can't.
love comes from the heart,
not the brain.


I wonder,
what's on his mind.
Everytime he looks at me,
i get so nervous.
Thinking what's on his mind.
Everytime he talks,
I just feel so amazed.
It's unbelievable things happened.
But it's unpredictable what will happen.

When you told me,
i felt rejected.
my sank again.
Not just that,
it hurt,
felt like a piercing,
going through my heart.
What have i done?
to deserve this?
All i wanted was to love,
and to be loved in return..
i'm not a control-freak,
but i just want to be loved,
by you.

Today, i went to parade in the morning and got some decorations for my room. some butterfly and glow in the dark stars..haha..wonder how it is at night..^^..
been a few days here in my room and i'm getting use to it slowly. my clothes aren't all here yet but slowly..haha..there's just smth missing in my room...a mirror...i have a long mirror. but it's in edmunds room in hostel..din bring it back..hmm..but at least i should get a small one first..
Cass came at 2, then we had lunch at greentown corner and went over to jj. saw nat there..^^..it's been a while since i saw her. Then, we went to parade cz cass bro was there.
Plans are making, i'm going to kl on monday. Will be waiting for carol to finish work then we'l be going back together. anyway, i can't wait to be in kl..

-today's thought just came in quite randomly. Am i really such a problematic kid? *sigh.. i don't know why, sometimes i dun like to be home, maybe it's b'cz i've always have to be home and i can't be out. that's why when there's a chance i'll always not want to go..=/..what's wrong..geez..i'm sorry that i'm just thinking of this way... i'm not being weird or crazy, it's just that. sometimes i want to be alone and maybe just to be with someone, not her, or them. but him. Maybe, that's why.

apologize

i'm really very sorry that i screwed my blogskin..
pls do forgive..

it just gets on your nerve that some people are just so friggin idiots and stupid!!!
first of all, i did not even say anything.
she can say one and a half hour when her intention is RM1.50. then u get so friggin confuse and you ask her. Then she screams at you like you called her a slut..what's her problem? she has said so many things about me and i haven't even jump to her about it.

-i stood there waiting an hour for her. i did not mention.
she waited mintues and she starts screaming.
-i forgotten what was thousand in malay and she started saying i'm useless.
she asked me how to spell 'scare' and i did not mention.
and there's so many things..if there were a recorder i'll record what she said and post it and then you all will know how useless and pathetic it is.

and how can i not be mad????

****

screw her and all that.

yea, i admit i am a problematic bitch who is deeply in love with a guy.
and i am mentally emotional..you got a problem with that?
deal with it..****!!! and i know right now i am in another emotional state and when i post this, after an hour i feel what a stupid thing for me to write.. but what do you want me to do? i can't kill myself..i can't just walk away..and i know i'm stupid enuf to not know what i should say to her..
i'm sorry to disappoint you guys...i know i'm not the best..

omg..
i'm actually right now online using this old laptop of mine in my new room
haha..i'm catching signals from around but it's so low..
msn isn't working well.
but at least..
i can blog..with patients..
buahahaha...
i still can't b'liv it..i've been sitting here for days..ok, not reli that long. but a few day..then i just noticed that my yahoo messenger signed in.. i was shocked..
signal is low..but i manage to creep in slowly here and there..haha..
but ofcz msn isn't working..=/

1) Single , taken , Naked , or
Flirty ?
- Flirty i guess...

2) Are you happy with that ? -
- nope..

4 ) Have you ever had your heart
broken?
- yes...sad but normal..

3) Have you ever talked about
marriage with the opposite sex?
- erm..yes i think..

4 ) Do you want children ?
- their cute..^^

5) How Many?
- depends on how much i can handle and how 'loveable' he is..haha

6) Would you consider adoption?
- maybe?

7 ) If someone liked you right now,
would you want them to tell you ?
- who is that someone? if it's him, yes please, if not..no..

8) Do you want someone you can't
have?
- if i can't have it, how can i want it?

9) Have you ever fallen in love?
- EVER? Now i am even am..

10) Do you believe in celebrating
anniversaries?
- yes..it's a good memory

11) Do you believe that you can change
for someone ?
- if i have the heart, i can..

12) Is it a good day?
- nope, not when i'm here and she's here with all that annoying noise..

13 ) Have you ever broken a heart
before ?
- i think so..

14) Does your ex still have feelings
for you ?
- how would i know?

15 ) Do you still have feelings for
your ex?
- they are my ex. what do you think?

16) when was your first kiss?
- a good one or a bad one?

17) what do you like bout your partner?
- are you asking bout him?

18) who made the first move?
- in this century and genaration, girls can make the first move..

19) when was your first date?
- geez, define a 'date'

20) when did u start?
- start what?

21) gone through all sorts of trouble,
was it worth it?
- it's not even finished yet...

the greatest that ever happen is to love and be love in return..

my mom has all sudden ask me to go to the states to study...T_____T
why do they put me in such state?
i'm a friggin emotional kid and please let me go..
STOP SUFFERING ME!
LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISION!!

*haihz

all i've got to say.
i won't go if i don't get what i want first.
and the other thing is.
it's not like i'm going tomorrow..
right?
but i know one thing it's that my mom's gonna start talking and nagging about it the next few years until i go...

choices-aus
-uk
-states

or any other places i can think of.
the reason my mom asked me to go to the states b'cz she thinks it's better there and it's much cheaper..
yea, but it just gets on my nerves that she can just come up to me and tell me JUST LIKE THAT...

omg...great...
dad's back..need to go for lunch..
will be back talking bout satuff i don't know what's going on either.

i woke up at noon today..not sharp, but around that time..Just seem so tired..
if i were sleeping in an air-con room, i would still be sleeping RIGHT NOW...it was so hot and i was all sweating..ugh..hate it..i'm gonna on the air-con tonight..*disgust

Mom's out, dad's out, matt's skul..i'm all alone here..Don't know whether to go out tonight or not..
and i'm feeling really bad for my behaviour yesterday. COuldn't even sleep well. I'm such an emo person when i come to some situation. h.a.t.e. i.t.. so afraid people would get a bad impression on me..T____T.

Most likely will be going down to kl next monday. by bus. of cz. There are few places i want to go. need to go to sunway, and kl itself to check out some stuff.. then KLCC and 1u too..now i'm gonna start complaining about the transportation.. but it's ok. it's not as bad as staying at cyber where u are at no where..geez..

i'm gaining weight and i'm so fat..damn..hate it so much that some people are jsut so skinny and they can go on eating and eating without worrying gaining weight..=____________=
fine..i'm just fat and i have to accept it...T__T..*sobs
still can't find my watch..the white one. i din lose it here, i left it in xian's palce. i've called up to ask her maid to search for me..

xian, i miss you...*sobs

baby,
i love you,
and i just want you to know.
that i'm not suffering.
i'm fine.
i'm happy to have you here,
it's because having you here is better than having none at all.
if, you understand what i mean.
What's mine's mine,
what's not will nvr be mine,
just like you said.
maybe all i can do now is just to be a better person..=]

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Come back to me, and forgive everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

I moved to my new room..
My bed is here now, my guitar is here, my charger is here.Bit by bits i'll be bringing them over here.
My bed is in the middle of the room, wanted to change a bit, but kinda hard.
Need time to go.
but won't be much though i'll be staying in kl like 8 months and 4 months here only..
I'm still debating whether to come back during my next sem break..

went back to school today and saw some teachers,
they gasp like the've never seen me for ten years.ok..maybe not that much..it has been months..haha..
and i notice most teachers i know has this short hair-cut..like they think they are rihanna or smth like that.
thanks to rihanna everyone's having that cut..
geez..i can't wait for my hair to get long..
p/s, i did not cut my ir b'cz of rihanna.it was another reason..

anywayz, waiting for my dad to finish using the internet so i can use.
and debating whether should i change to getting a Macbook or stick to getting a macbookPro?
some people jsut can't keep their mouth shut and jsut have to talk the whole day about it..
geez....
sudden realize it's so bad without glasses..i'm not frequent glasses wearing person..
but smtims it reli hurts when i need them..such luck..

can't wait for thrusday now as he'll be back,
then it'll be out,out,out again..
thinking of plans again..
trying to go to kl next week..
wanna go down kl to see the macbook and mbPro..
it's better to see it right in from of me and try it..
but have to persuade my parents of letting my go down.

I have a month more till sem starts..what to do..kaixin asked me to go for the Latin class, but geez,
i don't have a partner..
anyone wants to learn latin dance?
such sad that i'm so into dancing but i don't have the courage to ask around strangers to be my dance partner..
and some people said i was astrowart..[dunno how to spell that]..hmm..i'm not..
i just wanted to have fun that night..that's all [caught me at a wrong place wrong time..=[ ]

i love you