Realize

I sudden realize.
You do not bring me out that often.
Not that you don't!
Just not that often.
Well, i do not mind you having your guys night out and i'll be nothing but a troublesome to you
But you use to ask me if i want to tag along.
Now you don't even ask.
Moreover, You grabs your keys and i stare at you.
Then only you speak.
I sometimes wonder,
if i continue doing what i was,
would you tell me?

I am not trying to be controlling or anything.
But sometimes,
i feel so akward
and left out.
At that moment,
i wish,
...
i could hide.

Sometimes, it feels like you're walking faster than me.
Further than me.
But you always turn around.
And smile to me.
That charm,
a smile of a second of yours takes a years of sadness away from me.

How silly i am to fall deeply in love with you.
Sacrifice i made for you i wonder if you realize.

If it wasn't for you. I wouldn't stay longer.
Even right now,
i do not wish to leave,
but i know if i don't i'll regret.
But if i do.
i'm afraid i WILL regret.

I feel insecure.
i feel scared
i feel lost.
i feel silly
i feel stupid.
i feel i hate myself.