again

it's 4 in the morning. and i can't sleep.


i closed my eyes and tried to rest.

but those words just kept ringing in my head.



The more i hear it. the worst i feel.


i feel so bad.


if i could just turn back time.



Maybe things won't be this way.


i can't tell.


i can't say.



i'm stupid.


i should be dead.



and i can't sleep.


maybe it's a punishment from up above. So that i'll be awake thinking about it.

and the more i think.


the worst i feel..





Thoughts just kept running through my head.


What happen if i did the same thing 10 years ago.


i just cried.


i can't show.


i run and hide.


But i guess,


some people could just tell.


that something was bothering me.




and it doesn't matter.


cz my boyfriend doesn't bother to read.

So he wouldn't even know.


Useless guy isn't he?


but i still love him.











__________
i'm coming up with things to cheer myself up.


but it's not working.