don't know what to write

Grandpa passed away early in the morning on Sunday. according to my brother, he passed away in his sleep. and i'm going back to Ipoh tomorrow with lainey, Lay Chian and Kim Shung as the driver.

Ming*2 jie jie went back today and asked me if i wanted to follow. but i had to pass things to Aivan. so i couldn't. celaka u all.

anyway, i cried.

i cold rmb 5 years back. it was a sunday morning too when i got the phone call from mom about grandma. Well at least now the both of them could be reunited again. But then it came to me then our Gigantic huge family might not reunite as much as it use to as right now he's not here anymore. Well, don't think so far. We'll know sooner or later.

But for me. i felt right now that, at least he was part of my life. I was one of his grandchildren (although he has hundreds). Dad must be feeling really down. He called me today. Tried to cheered him up, as i'm his little princess, but dont know if it worked.

'

Soooo, removing all red nail polish. (my toe nails were red). and no red clothes for the next 100 days.

Been really busy the whole day, trying to do things here and there not thinking about it.

but no it's 5.32am. thinking of taking a break from work. And here i am thinking of him. and i'm crying. and listening to the song 'you are not alone' by michael jackson is not making me feel better. and all sudden i feel a cold breeze. like he's here.

Somehow, i didn't feel so bad as he really had a long life and i helped him when he fell. Although when i left on last thursday. i said good bye to him. I don't know. Something just told me i had to. and i went into his room and said good bye to him. But he didn't remember me at all. and he smiled at me. The very last time he did.

Maybe god gave me the push the say good bye to him that one very last time. and i remember. he smiled and waved. something he didn't do for ages.

Although, we didn't grow up living together. We didn't really have close relationship and so on. But we did have short memories. Like when he moved in here 6 years ago. He and grandma would sit there just listen to me crap about something they didn't understand. But i bet seeing us happy made him happy.

I knw mom's gonna be really emo, but i don't know what i'm gonna do. hope i wonder start screaming at her when she annoys me again.

R.I.P ah gong (grandpa). or mai hai gong gong. that's what we use to call him. sell shoe grandpa.

;D

we all love u.