=/

i so wanna cry... badly.

another update.

Finally. I'm going to update at least a little about me.

hmmm.. still no full internet access. But got back my hsdpa. (though it's not very fast).

anyway, been staying at laine's place for the past few days. that's why no internet.

Yesterday, went to help gacky with her assignments. (will update on it later on with pictures from her). HAHAHAA..

ok.. very short brief about what happened. as you all know, my grandfather has passed away. And so. we mourned it the tradtional way. so, there's this thing that we aren't suppose to go into any house which has a SAN TOI (those mini buddhist temple). cz apparently, it brings bad luck. yea...

and such unlucky case for me. HUBBY has a guan ying san toi at home. So i can't go in. First night, i had to help hubby with his work. So we went to starbucks and mcD. so didn't sleep the whole night. But at 7am. we knocked out. ( because i haven't been sleeping for the past 2 days too). So, i fell as leep in the car. yup. the car.

THEN. the next night, we stayed at laine's. OMGIOWEYOUBIGONE!. So then. it's been hubby running up and down usj and his place tkaing things for me.

Sem is starting next week. Don't know where i would be staying. maybe at grace's. *sigh*. i feel i'm troubling everyone and i feel really really really bad about it.=/

Going back ipoh this week. Miss you BFF. ;DDD..

short update

lately, lots have happened..

but i wanna tell to my BFF. i'm ok sayang. ;D. i miss you. can't wait to see u. hehez. ;DDDD

anyway..

will update as soon as i have internet access

love,

cathy

don't know what to write

Grandpa passed away early in the morning on Sunday. according to my brother, he passed away in his sleep. and i'm going back to Ipoh tomorrow with lainey, Lay Chian and Kim Shung as the driver.

Ming*2 jie jie went back today and asked me if i wanted to follow. but i had to pass things to Aivan. so i couldn't. celaka u all.

anyway, i cried.

i cold rmb 5 years back. it was a sunday morning too when i got the phone call from mom about grandma. Well at least now the both of them could be reunited again. But then it came to me then our Gigantic huge family might not reunite as much as it use to as right now he's not here anymore. Well, don't think so far. We'll know sooner or later.

But for me. i felt right now that, at least he was part of my life. I was one of his grandchildren (although he has hundreds). Dad must be feeling really down. He called me today. Tried to cheered him up, as i'm his little princess, but dont know if it worked.

'

Soooo, removing all red nail polish. (my toe nails were red). and no red clothes for the next 100 days.

Been really busy the whole day, trying to do things here and there not thinking about it.

but no it's 5.32am. thinking of taking a break from work. And here i am thinking of him. and i'm crying. and listening to the song 'you are not alone' by michael jackson is not making me feel better. and all sudden i feel a cold breeze. like he's here.

Somehow, i didn't feel so bad as he really had a long life and i helped him when he fell. Although when i left on last thursday. i said good bye to him. I don't know. Something just told me i had to. and i went into his room and said good bye to him. But he didn't remember me at all. and he smiled at me. The very last time he did.

Maybe god gave me the push the say good bye to him that one very last time. and i remember. he smiled and waved. something he didn't do for ages.

Although, we didn't grow up living together. We didn't really have close relationship and so on. But we did have short memories. Like when he moved in here 6 years ago. He and grandma would sit there just listen to me crap about something they didn't understand. But i bet seeing us happy made him happy.

I knw mom's gonna be really emo, but i don't know what i'm gonna do. hope i wonder start screaming at her when she annoys me again.

R.I.P ah gong (grandpa). or mai hai gong gong. that's what we use to call him. sell shoe grandpa.

;D

we all love u.

another out

So, it was Kevin's birthday... So many people birthday. OMG.

we went to Dragon-i for dinner..

after that we went to poppy.

pls forgive the ugliness of me. ;D

so enjoy the random pictures. ;D

something to crack me up

It's funny how you tell me we're gonna work all night but it turns out that i would be the only one.

or how you lie in bed saying you're thinking. thinking.

and the next minute

yyou're snoring. HAHAHAA

that's dreaming you idiot! HAHAHAAA

you are so funny. you piss me but you make me laugh.

Last day.

So, it's my last day in Ipoh. ;DDDD

for the next couple of weeks.. BUAHAHAHAAAA....

bought loads of stuff. ;DD..

i bedazzled my external USb port. my mouse. ;D. gonna do my harddisk NEXT. and soon mua phone. ;D

bought lipstick, sunblock, and mascara (cz mine finished).

also bought MAGAZINESSSS.. and cloud cleansing foam.

HAHAHAA...

gonna do facial mask later on. pamper myself first.. later go back kl cannot do so much later hubby complain this and that and he can see my hideous face..;DDDD

heard from hubby going to poppy tomorrow night. ;D.

i want a camera!!! gonna dig for one somewhere.. hope can find. HAHA.

haven't even packkkkkk..=/. maybe later on somewer

e in the middle of the night.

also bought my laptop a usb FAN. HAHAA.. and also the

spped snap ball.;D.

i would take picture of it. but it's just pointless as my came

ra is not here..

___

was browing thru facebook pictures. HAHAA...

my mom came in... it was pictures of Rum Jungle on last sat nigh

t..

this is what she said to the pictures....

''WHOA... who's that girl? why she lean on your boyfriend ge?''

''mom.. it's the millennium right now. don't so out la!. btw, she's his friend!''

''yor... where can like that?''

''hahaa.. don't know?''

''wa.. why casson hair stand so straight one?''

* * * * *

then my mom saw this..

'ahyoorrrrr.. yam gong lo.. why you so short ge?''

'sigh.. what to do? btw, it's cute ok? can make casson look bigger size ma''

''you a.! what also for him!. why this

girl here again ge?''

''she was there the night ma!''

'oh! casson hair so long d. ask him cut la! is that su xian?''

'yea. w

hy?''

''is she smoking?''

'no.. she was digging her teeth cz got rambutan stuck in her teeth'

''whoa.. why she do in public? lucky cannot see c

lear'' (SHE FELL FOR THAT!!!)

HAHAAHAAAAA..

------

i'm gonna miss you sayangg....

picturesssss

i'm such a random camwhore. HAHAHAHAHAAAA
and i just grab xians' phone and snap snap SNAP!!!! . ;DDDDD

i was done.. but she wasn't. HAHAHAAA
secret recipe. ;DDD
shouldn't have taken pictures of the food. HAHAHAAAA..
next time. ;D

notice the waiter behind???

damn poyo face of mine. HAHAHAAAA

wa cinta luuuuuu ;DDDD

hehez.. i love u so much. ;D



____

today went to remake my ic and cost me friggin RM10!!!!!! they charge under cip rosak .__. wth right.

anyway.. we went to parade after that.. and then LONG kAI!!!..
at night went yum cha with pip, manda , xian and issac. i drove this time. HAHHAAA..

stupid fellas go give wrong direction! *lucky no car*. HAHAHHAAAA

anywayyy....



came home before midnight. HAHAA (5 min before midnight).. well, it's STILl considered as before midnight. ;D.

and just sat on my laptop. HAHAHAHAAAAAA

fun night out. ;DD

So we went to check out Rum Jungle.

it was not bad la. i like the fact that it's air-conditioned. ;DDD

songs were.......

i don't think it was any better anyway.

but here are some photos..

taken with xian's LG phone. ;DD

have a few with Eunis also. but have to wait. ;D

From liying.

Do you know what love is?

It's so funny how life changes so fast. How things turn either fantastically or horribly the next second or day? I know what I said is the "I-know-you-don't-have-to-tell-me-common-sense-thing" but just let me have my moments of reflection.

What about hope? Hope is what drives me, you, all of us. So does faith. Faith in what you're doing so you can continue having hope. I thought I had hope. Apparently I was wrong. When I sunk to a point where my life or existence didn't matter to me anymore, you where there. For a while, I thought that 'Hey, maybe it's not so bad. Having someone to care, love and look after you'. I thought that I could let my guard down and get to be pampered. Some thing I've been longing for. However, what you might not understand can turn someone's hope in to dust.

Sure, I may be childish, irresponsible, a-bit-clingy, attention wanting. After all, I am still a kid. Technically still 18.

I crave to be loved. To be loved as I have loved. Whether one sees it, well.. it's up to them hey? It's also funny how people can complain about their past and not having receive love from the person they love and cherish. And when there's someone to love you unconditionally, you can't see it. You just don't love them nor appreciate it. You take them for granted.

( but now i'm finally being loved. i love you and i appreciate you. you're the best . ;D )

On the other hand, no matter how you mistreat us, we'll still be there. Waiting for every chance to get closer to you. To have you near, hoping to hold you close although it pains us to know that may never come. To hear your woes, your anger, your silent screams, your frustrations. We love you unconditionally, for who you are and your flaws. People may tell us to leave you. To find someone better cause we deserve someone better. But it's so hard to let go. Having to kill the one thing that motivates us to breathe. You may think it's a childish, immature thing to say but for some, it's the only thing that keeps us moving. Having lost that, is like walking around in the dark, stripped senseless of direction, emotion and motivation.
(i feel it there. the power of true love. ;D u never hate )

Love. You cannot. I repeat. Cannot love someone partially. It's either you do or you don't. Despite the fact that the person may drive you up the wall occasionally. After awhile you look past these things and see the inner beauty. Look on the good side. We are all imperfect but somewhere inside there's something good in all of us. Love is when you can look past these flaws and love them for who they are.

( i love you all for who you are and what you are. Every single side of you. )

Love. You care about the person unconditionally. Whether they are near or far. You want to spend time with them. Cuddle with them. Do things together. Even simple things like spending a night watching a movie at home or out for a walk. You try. Cause for all these effort, in the end you know it's worth it, having the person you love beside you and with you. That's the reason why some complain their partner is clingy or too attached. We want to spend time with you, every minute, every day, every second. Sure we all need personal spaces, so make time to go out with your friends. We all do. Hell, even I would complain if I couldn't see my friends.

(^^. so TOTALLY agree here. )

Love. Is a learning process. It may be my first but if you love a person. Teach them. Grow with them. That is what makes you stronger. Makes us stronger if we learn. If you don't teach us, how will we ever learn? Go through the pain one after another and learn it the hard way? If you can, at least show us the way so our future prospects of relationship does not have to be as painful as this.

Love. Do not lie about it. Do not say it due to stress/peer pressure/guilt/etc. You're doing harm for both yourself and the other. If it's not love, still do not lie about wanting to be together and thinking of a future. It gives us hope. Do it out of your own initiation. Cause you want to. You do not know how much it hurts when on the other side, we realize that it was all just a lie. It hurts even more when we're in love with you. It's as bad as someone telling someone close to you has just died in an accident. Or a knife being stabbed in your heart. Yes. You can literally feel the pain and loss and hurt from the lies when we all thought it was the truth.

And even what we went through hurts like hell and thought that we would hate you. No. Being in love with you takes away all the negativity. All the lies. And even if you were to continue telling the lie of loving us. We would accept it readily. That is how much love I'm talking about. Tell us all the lies as long as you'll be here beside us.

( i feel that if you really love that person. you won't be able to use the word hate to him or her at all. ;D )

Lovers. You're suppose to be the best friend and something more to us. Where we have no secrets to hide. No past hidden from each other. Trust. And even it is something bad, look forward to the future together. Something that you don't see eye-to-eye with? Discuss calmly, and make the best compromise together and also keeping in mind what your partner has in mind too. No burden is too heavy to bear. And we all have our pet peeves. Don't keep it in til the day comes when you explode and we have no clue what is going on. Love also comes with patience. We all forget once in a while what you don't like or like. All I can say that the key to a healthy relationship is compromising. Alot. And also spending time together whenever you can. Take a date, somewhere romantic once in a while. Money SHOULD NOT be a problem. If you save up 2-dollars a day, by the end of the month there should be enough for even a table somewhere for two. Just don't keep thinking expensive stuff. We'd be even be happy if you could take us out for dinner or a movie once a month. Something special.

( i totally agree.. that's how hubby and i are. ;D. and i'm really happy to have him.. it's not everytime you meet someone like this )

Nothing is too much or little when you're in a relationship. It is not an obligation to do somethings. We do it cause we know it makes you happy. So we do it cause we want to make you happy.

Falling out of love. Moving on. Finding someone new. Or time heals. I personally don't believe either one of these is fully true. Somehow, somewhere deep inside. That special person will always remain. And somehow, you'll still love them for the happy memories you once had together. Getting over someone really quickly is just a sign of lust, like or a bit of attraction. Not love. I believe that when you love someone. They'll always be a part of you. The memories are always there.

( memories are the best thing and i wouldn't regret at all whatever happens at the end because nobody would be able to give me memories like how hubby does. ;D )

They do say love is a very complicated thing. Well, yea in a way it is. Some people may not know if their in love or it's just friendship, and feelings are just confusing. But once you meet that very someone, you would know if it's him or her. Loving someone, you're just so willing to sacrifice everything, to do everything you can to help them. To put the care and the time for them, it's not something everyone would do. Some would do for the interest that it's something new, but after a short period, they'll feel annoyed, or not in the interest anymore. But true love stays. Forever. and it's as if the world has stopped and you'll never had to worry about ''ONE DAY .. what if '''.....

hubby. u're all to me. i love u.

being oh so random

i wish my boyfriend's a camwhore..i'm speaking about the one who will actually GET A PROPERY DIGITAL CAMERA and camwhore with it.. but not with hp punya..

and the one that will love to take picture!!! but not JUST HIM TRYING ON CLOTHES

.____.

faster camwhore la u...

HAHAHAHAAAA... we got not enough pictures a...


i'm like dead tired right now.. but.. who care?????

my friend is turning gay.. HAHAAA.. yeay~ wait.. why am i so happy? well at least he know's he's happy. hahaa

Brontophobia

i missed you and need you, but you're so busy, it never occurred to you at all.

last night, thunderstorm woke me up. and i cried. like a baby in bed. shivering and hugging my teddy wishing you would be here with me.

The days you hugged me when there was thunderstorm. My house was strike 3 times.

I'm dead tired and i wanna sleep. but i don't dare cz it seems like it's going to rain.

What if there's going to be another thunderstorm?

i rolled up in my blanket and stacked up my pillow under me.. and at the end, i dragged everything under the table.. covered myself up there and fell asleep crying.

i want you. and just telling you i want you just makes me wanna cry.

i miss you. i miss stitches. i need you.

..

i'm sick and nobody gives a shit about me.

i've been having a flu for 5 days d.. STUPID!!! such a headache and having fever..

not swine flu k? i don't have diarrea or any worst thing..

sigh...

is there any magic miracle that can make the stupid flu go away?

i wanna take medicine.. but wtf.. parents don't let worr...

how i wish hubby was here then he can bring me so doc and can have some medi for the stupid flu.

...

i'm so stupid right?

was webcamming with boyfriend and i told him i go bath.. i came back 10 min's later to see him not there.. and i waited..

AFTER 2 hours!!!! i will still waiting... so stupid right?

from 1 wait till 3.... sigh.. So......

only found out he's sleeping from his bro..

i'm also going to sleep d.feel so stupid