sorry..

here..
i wanna wish my mom happy birthday...

my mom has just retired last friday..
and...
for the moment..
things still seem the same..
but soon..
it'll change..
time has past..
and it is like how many years?
i am now going to be eighteen..

this weekend..
my whole fmily came down...
even matthew..
and i spent the weekend with them..
somehow..
i just........
i dunno??

this feeling inside me..
just feel as if....
i did somethings bad..
well, mayb i did..
and i'm very sorry..

thru out the whole weekend..
what was i doing?
and it's just that....

haihz....
spending more time with my dad and less time with my mom has cause me to this???
sorry for making some disappointed..
mayb it's that i miss talking to someone whom i can trust and reli talk...
mayb some of you just don't understand why i would get so close to my dad?

being confuse i am here..
not knowing what to do..
but still.
trying to be as normal..

i just feel sorry...
and i just want you to know..
that i din mean it..