1. Bondage
The scenario: Your partner is tied spread-eagled to the bed. He or she is blindfolded and moans with delight as you tease them with ice, feather-dusters and fingers. Or perhaps it’s you who’s restrained with fluffy handcuffs as your lover takes control.
What you need: Professional restraints are available at bondage shops, but these can be expensive. If you want to blow your mind (rather than your budget) visit your local hardware store and stock up on soft rope and plastic chains. You can also improvise with stockings and scarves.
Getting the ball rolling: The process of tying someone up can be as sexy as what you do to them once they’re secured. Try tickling your slave’s skin with the end of the rope while you work.
Red alert: Bondage requires a partner you trust and lots of communication. Discuss what you plan to do and respect each other’s no-go areas.
Don’t: Suddenly introduce a cat-o-nine tails and a scary gimp suit unless you’ve agreed on it beforehand.
Do: Decide on a “safe” word such as “mercy” which brings a no-questions-asked halt to whatever’s going on.
2. A threesome
The scenario: You meet a cute couple at a party who give you a meaningful look and say they’ve always wanted to try a threesome. Later that night, you find yourself locked in a passionate embrace with Girl X, while Guy Y runs his tongue stud down your spine.
What you need: Some open-minded bedroom companions and a bed, Jacuzzi or Twister board that’s big enough to fit everyone.
Getting the ball rolling: Don’t be afraid to admit you’re nervous and have no idea where to start. Also, avoid aiming for the over-the-top scenarios from porn films. Focus on the foreplay and only take things further if the vibe feels right.
Red alert: Finding participants for threesomes is tricky. Swingers’ clubs and internet fetish groups can be a good place to start but these are a real lottery.
Rebecca, a 27-year-old Sydney graphic designer who occasionally participates in group sex with her husband, says trust and chemistry are essential, even for casual encounters.
“If you’re in a relationship and there is any hint of jealousy, don’t go there,” she says. “And don’t involve close friends. This can risk both the friendship and the relationship.”
3. Sex in a public place
What you need: Garments that provide easy-access (think skirts and drawstring pants) and a semi-public environment. Popular choices include car parks, toilet cubicles and beach-side shrubbery.
Getting the ball rolling: Speed is of the essence here. Outdoor locations get very uncomfortable, very quickly – particularly if pointy twigs and sand are in close proximity to your private parts.
Red alert: Sex fun can easily turn into sex crime if you and your partner expose yourselves to strangers. If you really want a third party to watch, ask their permission first (you’ll be surprised at how many people get off on the voyeur thing).
