sigh

bloody mouse..


So gonna kill it.

Don't read if you DOn't care. i don't either.

i am such a emotional perso..


i cried again.


These tears...

and right now, i feel like crying again.


i know i'm super-emotional.. but there's a reason behind it.. i think i rather not say it.





I can't tell anyone or talk to anyone about it. Not even my boyfriend. Not even my sister. Not even my best friend. Not even my blog. or Not even.... my heart.

I don't even dare or want to think about it or wonder about it, because it's just going to lead me into deeper depression.




___







But i ask myself. Did i brought this all to myself?


























and i don't know..


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.











____
my eyes swollen

i feel so suffocated.

i want to run to the end of the world and scream out loud.

i want to break down and cry.

i want to crawl into your arms with my teddy and blanket and cry. with you stroking me telling me 'everything's gonna be ok'.








if you would put that smile back on my face.

wouldn't that be just great.

FINAL

So, my semester had FINALLY ended..

with my final exams. and my presentation.


This is what i wore. ;D

Here are my exams... Cannot imagine how much i wrote in 2 and half hours..
3 essays a!!!

After my exams..
i did my presentation..

WOuld you believe??
i found out that there was this classmate who was the class monitor who was from IPOH?
he studied in SAMTET!!..
i didn't know. HAHAAA
until one lecturer asked me where i was from..


it's really weird why lecturers ask where i'm from.
Don't i look like a malaysian?? HAHAAA





Mua presentaiton. ;D

credits to hubby. and kevin. ;D

Original pictures. ;D






ahhhhh.. so here is holiday.

OFFICIAL!!!

ok... so.




THIS


is official...

the new iphone.. 3rd generation. is call the iphone 3G s..
the 's' stands for speed..
it is TWICE faster than the 3G.... hmm..

not just that...
what i didn't like about the iphone..
for my minimum requirements are here...

Being able to take video is one thing..

Landscape TEXTING!!!..
omg.. i'm lovin this.

AND????



3.0 megapixel camera WITH auto focus.. + video..










and there are many more extra but you can go to the website to see it

http://www.apple.com/asia/iphone/iphone-3g-s/



So,i can't wait to get it when i go to aussie next year. ;DDD



but now.. hoping i can get the LG icecream...


speaking of ice cream...





OUR beloved friend TAN XIAO ZYENH..
she lost her LG ice cream... which she used less than 2 months.. wanna know how??



















she was working in GIANT as one of those part time workers.. her phone was in her pocket. And she felt very uncomfortable as it was blocking.. SOOOooooooooOOOOO,




she took it out and put on the shelf..

the product shelf..

where you and i or he and she can go over there and find a product and see the phone and just take it kind??

and that's how she lost her phone....










So, an advice..
NEVER to put your phone at a stupid place.

Should i?

KLCC is having a stock clearance..

i saw on SATURDAY.. they had the T77.. LAST ONE!!! selling for RM799..
should i buy????

or should i buy the T90 for RM1.2k??

T___T.
wanted to ask hubby..
but just din have the time to actually talk to him about it yet...since the incident..

Anyway,,
hope when i decide to buy it's still there..



p/s the one i saw was green in color.

Don't bother to read..

these tears just won't stop flowing.
at moments like this, i feel that, LIFE would be so much better without me.


_____
i feel so lost, so scared. When i finally thought there's somewhere i could be safe, things just happens. It always does..

What have i done in my previous life to make the present so miserable?

Maybe it's the way i talk, maybe it's just me. LOOK AT ME!. people hate me.

Do you dare to say you never once spoke bad about me? Maybe you don't now, but you use to?

my own sister Carol has spoken words that broke my heart.

Even my OWN present boyfriend has spoken unlikely words about me.

my closest friends ( i don't want to mention you name here ) has even talked about me.

more from i don't even know.

me? famous for being a faat slut or a bitch. or some words u use to say and describe me.


back home, i thought life was bad. Maybe i was just another spoilt kid. Maybe i was just someone who didn't know how to appreciate things.



____
If you hadn't meet me. Things wouldn't have happened between you and her. Nobody would be there to saw what happened. Or tell you what happen.

Or maybe i should have kept quiet all along, because now it seems that it's my fault that you were angry. it looks like i have been putting oil on fire all the time.

Have you ever felt as if a knife just went through you heart?

Or you got shot by a gun in the head where your brains just explode?

Or someone stuffing cotton into your mouth and you can't breath?

Or pushing you underwater that you're about to drown?

Cz.. that's how i feel right now.




____



I'm so emotionless right now. It's as if happiness were sucked away from me. I'm felt nothing but a body.

If there is a room, i could hide myself. i would be there. and the world outside would be so much happier without me.

and your life would be how you jsut wanted.

Noone to bother you, or to worry about.

No one to grumble about or get angry about.

And mostly, no one to annoy you or making you mad.

i am nothing but yet a fool.

Foolishly enough to think there's is such pure happiness in this world.











i wanna say i'm sorry and just ease with whatever you all say. Blame me and i don't care. it's not as if it's the first time.

i wanna say i'm sorry but i was right. i didn't say anything wrong, and maybe it's just a miscommunication. But i don't want to hear you yelling at me and then keep pointing out my faults.





i live in a strange world. where there's no where call home. i move and sleep about wherever there's space. i try to make myself as invisible as i could.

and i'm sorry to bother everyone.

fate.

maybe it's fate that i shouldn't have it.

but oh what the hell.

i don't give a shit anymore.

sigh

At times, i feel like i don't have the right to get angry. Or to say anything about her. Maybe it's because half of me still has respect to you because of who she is to you.

but sometimes, i'm just so angry that no words can explain how i feel..

Sometimes i feel like a stranger and it makes me wanna make myself invinsible.

i don't even know what i'm saying now cz i feel so confuse. i should be focusing on my finals tomorrow.

waiting.

OMG!!!!!!!!
i have finally asked hubby's sister to go buy.

HOPE SHE BUYS IT!!!
if she buys it.
then i'll have it on wed..
WOHOOOOOOOOO
;DDDD


whoa.. can't be too excited. just in case she doesn't get it. ;DD

fitting room

You see,
we've got nothing better to do in the fitting room.

And

THISS



is what you do when you're bored...







xoxo
;DDDDDD

you should go try.

Back to basic

Sooooo,



i've decided to go back to using johnsons baby.

I remember back then i started using johnsons baby shampoo and bath when i first went into uni. in 2007. HAHAA.
then i stopped last year. and my splits end came back. hair started getting brittle and it was never in place.

Then i bought the bath wash again. then i got the shampoo free, so i thought,
MAYBE it is the the shampoo that helped me.
So i did some google and so on.
it does help!! ;DD
i've been using it for 5 days.
never felt any better. HAHAAA

So, those who are tired and needs to change.
Go BACK TO BASIC. ;DDD

dreamland

This is where i will be dreaming tonight. HAHAA

if i could just RUN ACROSS THE BEACH NOW!!!
hahaa.

or swim around. looking at fishies.
enjoying the water.

if i could just see it.
(i would tonight in my dreams)

HAHAAAA..
Maybe i should change from wanting a sony T to a olympus.
So i can go underwater. HAHAAAA

Tagged by Piyao

How many people have you had strong romantic feelings for this year?
one

Your number 1 walks out of your life, do you go after them?
DEFINATELY!!!

Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?
maybe.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
other than hubby. i dun think so..

Do you like to cuddle?
yes. ;D

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
ytd. HAHAAA

Who did you text first this morning?
none.

Are you missing someone?
yes

Are there any saved birthday cards in your bedroom?
yes

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
3 weeks back.

Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad?
erm. yes. ;DD

Can you swim?
yes

What were you doing at 11:00 PM?
doing my work

Is there anything wrong with your eyes?
yes.

Are you happy right now?
yes. but also nervous

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
no

Is there something you're looking forward to?
yes

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
yes

The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?
hahaaaa. i dunno. can't count.

What's the 1st thing you do when you're mad?
think of strawberries. HAHAAA

Ever been called a bitch?
yes

Honestly has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past week?
yes

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
later?

Who is on your mind?
hubby, liying, gacky, piyao. hahaaaa

How do you feel about your hair right now?
i wish it's longer.

Have you ever had someone sing to you?
yes

Three hours ago, were you touching a person of the opposite sex?
yes

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
hubby's mom bought for me. hahaaa

Last person who told you things were going to be okay?
hubby

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
yes

Where were you at midnight last night?
sleeping

How's your heart lately?
confused.

When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot?
not sure.

Last thing you touched not computer-related?
rambutan. AHAAAA

Does the song you're currently listening to remind you of anyone specific?
hubby. HAHAA

Country or rock?
both

Are you talkative?
yes

Would you dye your hair?
yes..gonna die it red or purple and black next.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
yes

Who was the last boy/girl you talked to?
hubby.

Who is your number one on MySpace?
dunno

Do you have unlimited texting?
yes

Do you listen to love songs when you’re down?
yes

Did you date anyone this past summer?
yes

Next vacation you’re going on?
hoping it would be redang.HAHAA

Are your underwear and socks folded in your drawer or just thrown in?
folded

Sleep on your back or stomach?
both

Shoe size?
3 to 4

What was the last TV show you watched?
american next top model

What did you last buy?
johnsons baby shampoo

Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
put up my hood or nothing.

What is your most important possession?
dunno. ;DD

What are your turn-offs?
fat?

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
casson liew kar soon. HAHAHAAAA

YOU'RE TAGGED!!!

hillari, liying, heleness, carol, xian, gacky, julz, shanelle, shanice, Karen,
and EVERYONE ELSE!!!

Tagged by Piyao

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Chinese tea (ice)
2. Last phone call: Munyee
3. Last text message: Hubby casson
4. Last song you listened to: You belong with me by taylor swift
5. Last time you cried: dun rmb.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yes. ;D
7. Been cheated on: yes.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: yes
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: yes.. hahaa

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. pink
13. black
14. white

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yes
16. Fallen out of love: no
17. Laughed until you cried: yes
18. Met someone who changed you: yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: no
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 90%
23. How many kids do you want to have: .__. i dunno. this depends how many god gives. ;DD
24. Do you have any pets:i wish.
25. Do you want to change your name: no
26. What did you do for your last birthday: with hubby.
27. What time did you wake up today: 12? or was it 11?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: strawberry!!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: last week?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your lie: me being smarter.
32. What are you listening to right now: insomnia by craig david.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no. HAHAAA..
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: going to the police station.
35. Most visited webpage: facebook and blogger
36. Whats your real name: catherine ailing cheong. ;D
37. Nicknames: cathy, ling... etc.etc.
38. Relationship Status: married. HAHAAAAAA
39. Zodiac sign: virgo
40. Male or female?: Female
41. Elementary?: amc
42. Middle School?: amc
43. High school/college?: Limkokwing
44. Hair colour: copper brown
45. Long or short hair?: medium
46. Height: 158cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: hahaaaaa. this is a stupid question.. everyone knows. ;D
48. What do you like about yourself?: having a lovely boyfriend
49. Piercings: yes
50. Tattoos: not any now.
51. Righty or lefty: righty.

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: no.
53. First piercing:12
54. First best friend: natalie. HAHAAAA
55. First sport you joined: swimming
56. First vacation:austrlia.. i was 3.
58. First pair of trainers: i dun even have one now. T__T

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: go to the police station.
62. Listening to: nothing
63. Waiting on: finish work

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: yes
65. Get Married?: yes
66. Career?: earning money. HAHAA

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: MATURE
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both
73. Sensitive or loud: NEITHER
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: NEITHER

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No!!!
77. Drank hard liquor: yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: yes
79. Sex on first date: hahaaaa
80. Broken someone's heart: yes
82. Been arrested: No
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: yes


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: 50/50
87. Miracles: yupp~
88. Love at first sight: i'm fine wif it
89. Heaven: yes
90. Santa Claus: yes
91. Kiss on the first date: NO
92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no
95. Did you sing today?: yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?:no
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: hahaaaa.. 3 weeks back.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: my birthday. ;D
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: use to.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yes



I TAG
hillary, gracie, gacky, julz, liying, jonathan, heleness, carol,
xian.

AND EVERYONE ELSE ON MY LIST!!!

another final.

So, for my presentation for my communication skills, i've decided to do on stencil. ;DDD.. and i've picked this picture. HAHAA..

Gacky, hope you won't mind. ;DD..

So, have not try it yet.but will on sunday or sat. and presentation is on Monday...

how dead i am..*wish me luck*

the stencil will look like that. ;D