Don’t talk to me if you don’t want to! I don’t give a shit!.
AND to think of the times I tried to finds ways to talk to you even though I know you wouldn’t understand me.
Don’t you think I would want to get away? Have my own life?
Just because you’re like 40 years older means I have to respect you? What about my own respect? What about respecting me?
People have been telling me to tolerate and tolerate and tolerate. And I have. And this is what I get in return? 20 years of toleration has lead me to nothing but worst.
And some say after 20 years shouldn’t I be used to it? Well, maybe because I’m stupid. And a soft-hearted one who somehow have hope of having a better one but you always lead me to disappointment.
You know why I talk to him and not you? Because he understands, he knows it. And even if he didn’t like it, he would say it. But you’re not! You wont’ even let me start my first sentence. Whatmore to tell you the whole story of my life?
Because you would just go on saying what a shit life I have and I’m such a waste to the world. And guess what? Yes I am a trash in this world. ONE F-ING shit trash who is useless and worthless. Happy? And not just that, I’m not like others whom get what they want, I have to get them by my own allowance. And when people give me stuff and buy me stuff, you forbid me to keep them, yea, I’m a trash that not worth people loving!!
Sigh
i’ve tried to understand you. But I couldn’t. at least I tried. And I’m tired. I am heartbroken to have someone like you. And I’m sick of this shit.
2 comments:
There is nothing wrong with being a soft-hearted person and holding out on hope even when things don't look like they will change.
You are right, you have tolerated a lot Cathy. And you might never get respect and you might never be able to talk to her or understand her but the thing that matters is you tried. If nothing ever changes at least you know that you can hold your head high because you have tried and you won't have regret from not having tried.
Don't ever call yourself trash or a waste to the world, even if you don't really mean it. That is giving in and that is exactly what she wants. You are better than that. You know that you aren't useless and worthless, quite the opposite. You know that you have plenty of people that care about you and can see what a great person you truly are.
You'll be fine.
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