Touch

i read this from an article

Touch is good for love. Touch is good for you. From holding hands to quick cuddles to warm embraces, the word must go out strong and clear : touch me.
But you don't want just anyone to touch you. I'm talking about receiving the kind of touch that you need and want.
I once saw a film in which two lovers secretly held hands under the table. I found the moment that their finger entwined much more erotic than seeing lovers jump into bed with each other. That's the thing about touch: it can be sensual and sexy or comforting, reassuring, affirming.
True lovers don't feel the need to always talk to each other. They can be equaliy happy just holding hands or stroking each other. Touch says more than words. Touch is healing, health-giving. Touch is instant communication. Touch is pure magic.


after reading this. i felt so empty. like i lack of it. From hubby. I wish hubby would understand, but then what would the point be. He'll most probably say i'm doing something stupid or this is just something worthless. I remember how i wish he would hug me and tell me everything's ok when i cried. How i wish he would hold me hands when i'm lost, or even feeling sad. Or hug me when i'm cold.

But, instead, i was said stupid and being worthless and said i was weak and everything was my fault. I guess i would have to bear with it and be stronger.
Nothing is ever perfect in this world. To get something, you need to sacrifice another. This happens in everyway. But deep down, i know hubby loves me. I know it's not enought to last us. But it's enough to know he loves me now.

Hubby, i love you. i'm sorry if i disappointed you or made you angry. i didn't mean it. Sorry for being so stupid. and sorry for not being your prefect one.