Shrek 3

today, we watch Shrek 3 at ioi mall..comments..interesting..love the little dragon donkeys..hehez..so cute..i wan one too..^^..flying donkeys with fire coming out of their mouth..haha..we booked the tickets two days ago and i got a sit with my baby..hehez..[that's very obvious rite?]
Went to campus today.Finally!!out modal is over, just have to bind the thing..oh shit! it's not done yet..
die die die...haha...

the nite alone

this evening, my baby went home..=[..but he had to ..cz he had an home emergency, i cn't blame him also then..anyway..went to ioi mall with kevin they all..and then, we ate at kenny rogers, not reli very special isn't it? but it has been a while since i ate that, the last time was with my baby..miss him so much.. and then, we tried buying th tickets for the movie sherk3, but the counter said they were having some problem, so we needed to call and book. that's what we did. anyway..we are going to watch it on thursday nite 8 o'clock movie..buahaha...then, next week i'll be watching pirates of the carribean, that, i need to find a way to go to sunway or somewhere which i could meet my baby. Miss him le. felt a little weird that he wasn't there today, i don't know why. i just felt that it would be so much better if he was there..i am so afraid and eventhought i have a smile on my face, but actually, i'm being quite emo inside me. i am so afraid. this person inside me. i am just trying to hide that person.

i looked at you, but you would not look at me. you just lay there against the wall, i wanted to just stay there and just sit there. tryin to figure out what is happening. but instead, i became emo inside and force a smile. i love you my baby, i know i can't just build your trust in a second. i know it need time. just like building a hotel, it needs time too. i just felt so hard just to close the door and walk to the other tower. my heart inside me is aching. why is this happening? i just wanted to cry and just listen to you. why couldn't you just tell me not to go? why did you had to chase me away? and not look at me? why did you have to tell me to go away? why did you push me away? i know inside you, you are unhappy about it. but why can't you just tell me not to go?

i'm sorry..

i'm sorry..it's not your fault..
it's my fault..
but nomatter what happens..i will try my best..to make everyside of you trust me..i will build it..the inside, outside, downside, upside left side, rightside and nomatter what side..i dun care how long it will take..i give you all my time and effort..i will build the trust..
i just want you to know.
that i love you..
and this is true..
nomatter what happens..
nothing can take us apart..for me.you are the cutest..not them..for me..they are just ordinary looking people, and the furthest they could is being friends..i dun need a six pads build nice strong figure, or a cute handsome looking guy..or someone tall..or someone who is smarter and richer or a rich future to make me feel happy and those are not what i need..
they can give me money..they can buy me everything i want..even a car? house?but NO!
that' is not what i want..that is not what i am searching for..what you have is something they don't have..what i am searching for..is what i see in you..in your eyes, your heart. i love you fro who you are, not what you are. i rather live happy and poor with you, than rich and unhappy with someone else. able to spend my whole life with you is more than i can ask for.

thoughts always come into my head..will there be another girl who is better than me?will she over take me and take u? will u fall for her? but i always tell myself a hundred and thousand time that i will try my best and be my best i could...and in thi way, even if one day she over takes me..i won't regret for not being the best..and i know..forver..you will never forget me..cz i know you are not so cold-hearted untill you can't see and can't know what i've done..one day, you will think back and see what i have done..and it is never too late..as long as we have each other in our hearts..

presentation [communication studies..]

i had my presentation for communication studies today..as usual my alarm would wake me up at eight in the morning. but because due the lack of sleep i just slept back after snoozing the alarm..jon would wake me up, but i would just say.''one more minute''. bad attitude i have here. don't i? then, when i saw the time, it was eight forty-eight..''shit!'' jumped off the bed and went to the toilet..in a rush i had to change and then pack my things. Wearing my white dress and denim heals. i rushed to bryan's unit and needed him to print my outline.

Does anybody do not get nervous during competition?test? examinations? presentation? public speaking?
well, that' me..i will..i hopw i won't..but unfortunately, i do..
sad isn't it?
i was presenting on my music..
everything..on me..about me..
that six minute power-point made me stay up till two smth in the morning ytd..and had jon waited..but he fell asleep at my lap..i felt bad that he had to struggle to accmpany me..but i felt appreciated that he was willing to be there..but overall..i felt bad..din know what to do..but i felt glad that he fell asleep..
he fell asleep on my lap..and it's just that..i dare not move..what would happen?would he wake up? i am afraid that he would and get pissed of at me..
i'm sorry if i did.. din mean too..
i can't bear him being emo and sad or frus..
i just wanna cry..

what's happening?

what is happening here?
why all the sudden?
i don't know what is happening..
would you please tell me?
did i do anything wrong?
was it me?
i reali dunno..
can u tell me?
pls do not ignore me..

everytime i see you like this.
i just can't bear it..
i feel like i am a very useless girlfriend..
i can't even know what you are thinking..

i feel like crying..
i dunno what is happening..

please..
do not ignore me..
please.....

sorry..

here..
i wanna wish my mom happy birthday...

my mom has just retired last friday..
and...
for the moment..
things still seem the same..
but soon..
it'll change..
time has past..
and it is like how many years?
i am now going to be eighteen..

this weekend..
my whole fmily came down...
even matthew..
and i spent the weekend with them..
somehow..
i just........
i dunno??

this feeling inside me..
just feel as if....
i did somethings bad..
well, mayb i did..
and i'm very sorry..

thru out the whole weekend..
what was i doing?
and it's just that....

haihz....
spending more time with my dad and less time with my mom has cause me to this???
sorry for making some disappointed..
mayb it's that i miss talking to someone whom i can trust and reli talk...
mayb some of you just don't understand why i would get so close to my dad?

being confuse i am here..
not knowing what to do..
but still.
trying to be as normal..

i just feel sorry...
and i just want you to know..
that i din mean it..

working..

well, we are busy here working on the final intergrated project..
and woila!
first semester will be over..
haha..
then i'll be in ipoh..
well, cuzina are coming down..

been working all afternoon yesterday..

check out my assignments website/...

www.xanga.com/aNgEL_aILInG

congratulations...

here..
i wish my baby..

CONGRaTULATIONS....
haha..
finish first semester liao happy la??
haha..i still have one or two more weeks..
hehez...

u happy la..
now wait for semester two only la...
hehez...

=/..i'm scared

i feel so bad...
i just wanna cry..i know..it's no point for me too..

baby, seeing u being so frus and just not happy, i am so scared..i dare not talk to you...
i wanna help u but i dare not ask..
but i am just sitting here in the middle of the room, i seem to be in the way..so sorry..
i feel that mayb it mite be beta if i went out and u in the room?
but ii am afraid that you say i am not by your side or something like that..
i am sorry..

everytime i see you not happy, i feel bad..
my heart aches..
and i can't do anything but to sit and see or just be in the way..
i want to be there for you, but i don't know how..
and everytime you just get even more and more frus..
i just feel scared....

it's been quiet some time

it's been quite some time since i've posted blog here...well..i am gonna start to fill in thoughts and so on here though..
well...
i have been having quite some blogs and profile..
ok..not quite.it's alot..
haha...

komenasai to all of my frenz out there..
well..

just for your information, my xanga blog...

www.xanga.com/aNgEL_aILInG

is mainly for my assignments...feel free to go there and see my amazing drawing's...haha...
dun forget to leave comments ya..haha...

well..
hmm..
let's see..
i have three friendster accounts and they are very active too...
dun have to worry which account i won't see or which to send..
just send to any i will see it..
then, i have a perfspot account... [dun ask me why i have it..i was linked to it..so i just open an account since it is free..]
hi5 and myspace is also something i have..but i dun reli have myspace friends...*sobs*
hmm...what else???
youtube, i have an account like many others..but i post video..go and check out...
slides..is it important??
then, i also have ilike...which is linked with itunes..

i think that's about it..
then i have msn..[ which sucks cz it lags..but most friends are there]
then i have yahoo messenger..
then don't forget skype..

i have three e-mails..hotmail, yahoo, gmail....that's why...

well, i think that's basically most of it...

another post

yesterday..
friday the 13th...
haha...
well, everybody sez that day is not a good day..
well, i have some bruises and so on..but it happens..
i 'am a klutz..can't blame me for that rite??
haha..
anyway...

afer life drawing class..
i went bek to bath and changed..
took me quite some time to find smth to wear..
then i wore the MNG shirt jon liked..
hehez..
and then, i called bryan..but i cud not get thru his phone..
so then, i called kevin...they were at cyber cafe..
so me and jon went to cyber cafe to find them...
izat was there as well..
and then, we went down to get cabs to go to ioi marriot...
it's a five star hotell..
well, it was amazing..
love that place..
haha...
anyway, we had chinese dinner..
8 of us sitting down in the 'room' eating...
then after that, we went to ioi mall..
by cab..the cab driver was very kind..
he told us that he cud fetch us..

at the restaurant, kevin kept calling me and jon mom and dad...=_='''

i was like...
=__________________________=''''''
sweat...

O_o??????

haha...
taht was more like jon..
haha..
but still..hehez...
we had great dinner..
i mean..
haha..
we are a bunch of college kids who's enjoying life..
rite??
then we went to ioi mall..
and then we bought tickets..
to watch a movie..''wild hogs..''
it was damn funny..
but somehow i just kept quiet and rarely say a word..
then,
when we finish..
it was about one..
then me, jon and gerald went the wrong way..
and turning out had to walk a big round over ioi mall..
=______=''
so tiring...

and jon sed the sped we walk wasn't even fast..
=_='''

anyway, then , the cab driver drove us bek to condo..
and then, he still charge us for the normal price even though it was one smth in the middle of night..

hmmm

just out of randomly writing this blog..
sometime's i feel that i have too many blogs..
until i dunno which to fill in..
yesh..
anyway..
haha...

life in limkokwing is still like this..
recently it has been raining alot..
hmm...
until...
it is scaring..
all the thunder..
and i am living in tenth floor..
haha..

not fun o..
and the view is blocked..
i can't see far..
not even subang..
scary o..
=[

i miss the piano..

i miss the piano...

T.T

i want it here..
it's been so long since i've touch the piano....

haiz.......

tired

silently as i sit on my bed..
i started to think..
what is it deep inside me that is making me feel like this??

i feel so tired..
as if in this world everything is coming over me..
where does this world lead to?
where does it go?

in our journey of life..
what do we know about it?
how many choices do we have?
what roads are they left for us?

i never dare to show who's the real me..
but rite now i just feel like leaving..

i may smile and laugh..
but mayb jon was right..
i was just covering it up..

this..did you know?
what was going on?
who knew?
you never knew..
you even forbid me to do the stuff i liked..

i never showed that i cared cz all you did was just start nagging..
you mention that you got tired?
then?
sometime's i just feel like yelling at you..
just two words and three words..

shut up..

leave me alone...




but you never did..
right now..
you may think i am having great life?
yea..
i can if i wan to..

no..
wait..

i was...
until a friend had a convo with me..
she asked me..
why don't i just do whatever i like?
but no..
you never..


don't think that i forgot everysingle word you said..
b'cz i do..
you guys always make a promise and never kept it..
you may just say..''next time la..''
but how many next time have you said?
i know i sound like a lil kid..
just even a small promise makes a big effect right NOW..

i bet you don't know..
right?
b'cz you never knew..

how could you know?.


results are comin out soon and don't think i dunno what would happen..

i'm tired...

design studies..

design studies was the first subject i had for my first semester..the class was from 9am till 5pm. well, that was what was subject..excited as all of us was..we went to our class..
unfortunately i woke up at 8.30 that morning..
sitting in the class..i looked at the time. it was already half pass nine. and the teacher still has not come in.
then few mintues later, the teacher he came in.. it wasn't wat we expected. he tried to explain a little history on arts. on how last time in the neolitik, meseolitik ppl had wall drawing. but somehow, he explained it till i almost doze off.
we had breakfast break at 10am..then lunch at 12 till 2..
when we went back to class at 2..the lecturer started to explain things on what we would be doing on our semester..
then we had a little exercise..drawing expression with lines..it was kinda fun..thinking what lines you should do..
half the fun us on drawing it..half the fun is thinking about it..