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So... moving over to a new link. :D


♥click here
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Sorry for all the trouble, cz i kinda love the new layout.


LALA. ;D.. won't stop updating..

and sorry for the previous few emo stuff.. was going through emotional state. ;D♥

hm

how do you make a wish come true?

ahhhhhhh

i want this!

another movie

Last wednesday, hubby and i watched G.I.Joe..

weeee...>.<

don't know what to say about it..

GO WATCH IT!!! hahahaa.

Not happy

...

i don't know what's happening..

self-esteem gone down quite low this afternoon.

but i'm much better now.

_

i cried cz i know you wouldn't be able to give me what i wanted. i was being a baby.

...

Hubby and i talked today. It sudden made me realize WHAT i REALLY want this year. But somehow, i don't want to put my hopes up high because, With the higher hopes, will ALWAYS bring bigger disappointment.

For this year's birthday. my wish is ''to know how much you love me''. Or much i mean to you. and how much effort it's worth..

Hubby did mention that it's bcz i'm leaving and he doesn't want to make it such a big thing and i''ll end up NOT wanting to leave.

But the thing is. I wish he'll tell me. So i'll be more secure. and i want to know how it is.

*ugh*. like tiger had said.. why does he have to be so stubborn and why does he have to be someone that doesn't want to show his feelings?

ahhhhh

I finally saw some pictures and reminded me of something. HAHAAA

NOW I KNOW where i wanna go for my birthday. ;DDD

buahahahaaaa.. sound so evil right? but. *sigh*. too much for hubby la.

i wanna go jogoya makan. HAHAA..

but due to the fact that there'll be TRAFFIC JAM (which hubby hates). and our class time. GOD knows what time he'll end.

Soooo, don't know about it.

why not let's just have mvD. hahaa..

then it could be cheap.

haha. being random

i love you

get out

stop making go crazy! if one day i ever end up in the mental hospital or whatever shit. it's because of your fucking fault!!!!

Seriously right. i don't know what's your fucking problem. and all you're saying is BULLSHIT!!!

and i don't know what's my fucking problem!! everytime what you say it's the fucking same!! and still everytime i listen to it. everytime i get hurt and offended. i'm not a robot. i'm not a fucking body without feelings ok?

I don't want to eat. GOT ANY PROBLEM A??? STOP FORCING ME TO EAT LA!! IF I AM HUNGRY I WILL GO AND EAT LA!!!! SERIOUSLY. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH....

like i wish. you think i don't? Do you FUCKING KNOW HOW HARD IS IT TO PRETEND YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE IN FRONT OF YOU ALL???????TO PRETEND TO LOVE THE THINGS I HATE. TO PRETEND TO HATE THE THINGS I LOVE. TO PRETEND TO BE WHO I AM NOT! WHAT FUCKING SHIT IS THIS????

this is my life. and STAY AWAY FROM IT!!!! you know nothing about me. Not even my favorite color, or my favorite flavor .or my favorite cake. or favorite dish of food. you always think i love chicken chop... IT"S NOT MY FAVORITE AND I HATE IT!!!! wtf. so stop pretending that you know me.!!

It's alright for you to forget MY BIRTHDAY.. oh no. wait.. it doesn't matter shit to you anyway. right?? and how could you even remember something that is not yours??

and i was preparing something. now i just don't want to do it anymore. because. i'm TIRED OF WIPING YOUR ASS!!!!

and yea! i know you hate my not studying law or medicine or whatever shit you wanted your PERFECT DAUGHTER to be so you can FUCKING brag about it. i'm sorry!! that is not who i want to be. i want to be a creative director. an account service. a business design.. i want to have my own magazine book. my own fashion line. FUCKING CANNOT A??????

and what does it give a shit to you even when i wear a 5 inch high heels?? I WALK IN THEM!!! NOT YOU!!!

you have the right to not eat and i don't? what logic is this? DId you take your medicine today? i feel so mad and yet pity you, because you have a FUCKING ATTITUDE and a FUCKING BRAIN like that. nobody knows what fuck shit i'm going through.... people always think ''omg. small matter why you make it till so big?''.. yea.. smal smal small small small .. FOR 20 FUCKING EYARS IT BECOMES BIG!!!

and carol! stop asking me to tahan. be'ccz you're not here!!! and ibet you FORGOT how it feels to be LIKE THIS!!!!

i'm doubting if i wanna come back next week either. fucker.

..

You know what really pisses me off? Just when i've calmed down.

YOU PISS ME OFF AGAIN!!!!

i talk to you nicely. you ask for my opinion. i give it to you.. and then? I GET SCOLDED FOR MY OPINION! WHAT THE FUCK?

shut up if you can't estimate! 4 person eating you order 2 large pizza! wtf? who's gonna eat? then you go on saying if we don't finish can keep. YEA RIGHT.. if we really didn't finish. you'll start scolding saying why are we wasting food..

THING NEVER GO THROUGH YOUR BRAIN A????

oh yea. wait..

do you even have one?

get out of my life!

seriously. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! this is one fucking reason why i lock my doors before i go to sleep on saturday night. you force me to go to some place i don't fucking feel like going in the morning! and you start pissing me off!!! what the fuck??? don't you have nothing better to do in your life?

i'm a university student and i can't sleep at 10 every night and wake up at 7 in the morning. what fucking life is that?? how am i gonna fucking finish my work??

i just sniff once today.. ONE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! and you go on lecturer about it... FUCKER!!!!!! if it wasn't my birthday next week. i wouldn't give a shit about coming back either!! if it wasn't for YOU!!!! i wouldn't have come back this week EITHER!!!! stupid ass shit face cunt hole! wtf.

how i wish my birthday would be

Suddenly, i realize, it might be the last birthday till god knows when we celebrate it together.

Hubby asked ''why don't you have any friends that celebrates your birthday with you?''. Deep inside me, somewhere, hubby doesn't know this part of me. He's lucky he has friends like his. Though i'm also friends with them, but it's different, i'm more like a friend's girlfriend. but anyway, Don't want to talk about that.

I started thinking what i wanted when hubby asked me about a month ago. What do i really want? it's not that i have anything. i would say, i want that top from topshop, or that pair of killer heels. or this perfume. or that shades, or a handbag. there are LOADS a girl would want. i could even say i want a diamond pendant or what-so-ever. but then, i don't want something that just spells 'M-O-N-E-Y''. though i would be happy, which girl wouldn't?

But, i feel. i want a loved birthday. where the boyfriend makes something creative. or maybe a single rose would lighten up my day. Even if it's a combination of pictures of stitches. and us.. Or a collage picture of hubby himself. Or, a simple love letter describing what i mean to him would be so much better than a Burberry handbag, or a Prada shades.

All i wish, is something memorable.

bored.

This is what you do when you're bored

you camwhore..

especially when ur laptop has a built in camera.

030809

it's already september!!!

but don't know why i'm so god damn GLOOMY!!!

probably stupid PMS.

=/

Suddenly, i feel to have the urge to have the brains to study. =/

or maybe the brains to be even smarter. *sigh*...

But anyways, Just feel so tired and lazy. and *ugh*. hate my group assignment work. seriously. =/. tsk. So, anyway, doing my work and watching Full House. but still, makes no difference in my life.

i seriously need a camera. sigh. gonna save money to buy it. Hope i can get it a.s.a.p...

i'm bored. and i'm lost passion in blogging, because he doesn't seem to bother. So he just kinda ruined my mood also.

lalalalala.;D

hehez.. so the list for what i want for my birthday is up. HAHAA

*hint to the boyfriend*

=p...

just joking la hubby.. i can dream also ma. right? ;D.. crazy siao to get those stuff man.. i just want stitches. that's all.;D

your opinions please. ;D

So, it's really fascinating to be doing assignments (yea. right.)

So, anyway,

Found these. HAHAAAA>.

Some tattoos can really turn out really fu

nny. HAHAA

And some can turn out to be QUITE creepy. there's worst i tell u..

and some TURN out to be REALLY HOTTT.. hahaaa..

maybe it's because megan fox is just beautiful by herself.

no wait.

she's HOT and sexy rather than beautiful HAHAA..

in my mind beautiful are all the gentle and NOT SO WILD type. hahahaaa

ok. this final picture may look a little as if it's painted.

But if you notice, she doesn't have a nipple. HAHA

Maybe she was doing a campaign or advert,

but it says that..

she's tattooed it like that, be'cz she really loved butterflies and it makes me feel like a child again

She had breast cancer. That's why she's so flat and no nipples.

She went for plastic surgery to make her skin look better and smoother and she got herself a tattoo.

Like Michael has said before, maybe it's a way for making herself feel secure. ;D

but anyway,,,

please comment on what you feel and think.;D. thanks.

what's this world coming to

I'm not sure if you could see this.. copy and paste it into a new tab or new window / browser

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1092711051435&ref=nf

i find it really sad and i also found a few acticle about it.

As told by Don Crow, 03/02/00...

The story I just heard has all the earmarks of an urban legend...

As it goes, a couple with their child were in a shop in Tijuana, Mexico. With their baby only a couple of feet from them, their attention was diverted just long enough for the baby to be stolen. They searched frantically for the baby and/or the kidnappers, but had no luck. Even with the aid of the local police they had to go home empty handed.

While crossing the border back into the U.S., The wife notices her child's car seat in a car next to them waiting to go through the border check. She gets out of the car and starts to make a scene, which does indeed attract the attention of the border police. The police detain the car in question, along with its occupants. The mother is able to identify the baby as her own that was stolen earlier.

However, the people who had her had killed and disemboweled her as a hiding place for smuggling drugs into the U.S.

******

As told by Tony Graham, 04/10/00...

A woman and her 4 year old son are visiting a border town on the Mexican side of the Texas/Mexico border. As they are walking towards the border crossing to return to the U.S., a man runs up to her and takes her child. She immediately runs to the authorities and a search ensues.

The lady and the authorities begin walking among the cars looking for her son. The woman spots her child in a truck a couple of rows over. Her son is laying his head on the shoulders of man and appears to be sleeping.

As the authorities close in on the vehicle, the driver jumps out of line and makes a run for it. As they are driving off, the passenger opens his door and dumps the child out into the street. As the woman and the authorities reach the child they find, to their horror, that the child has not only been murdered but has been cut open and illegal drugs have been put inside his body.

It appears that the persons in the vehicle were drug smugglers and had decided to kidnap a child, kill them and place the drugs in the body. They would then hold the child as they approached the border and the border agents would think that the child was quietly sleeping on the shoulder of the passenger.

******

As told by Carol Miller, 03/10/00...

I have heard this story twice...

A friend of the teller of the story went to the southwestern United States to visit family. While there, a neighbor stopped by to tell what happened to a friend of a friend, etc.

The family went to Mexico, just across the border, to shop, and lost track of their toddler who wandered off. The police told them to give them a picture of the child and they would circulate it, because somebody might try to bring that child back into the states in the car seat, and the driver would try to pass it off as his sleeping baby.

Sure enough, they found the baby, dead, with drugs sewn up in its body, strapped into the car seat. Supposedly this is happening all the time now.

________

this is so sad.

missing you

i miss you.. i realize nothing can replace you in my heart.

No one has the big nose you have. and the big tummy of yours. your small little hands and cute little tail.

*sigh*

Listen to this

I've ALWAYS hear this song in uni.. ALL THE TIME!!! for the first time i thought it was a really lovely song. i remember i was really depressed and emo at that time, with family and lecturers and when they played this song i almost cried..

But soon, it just felt normal..till now i found it.. Then only i realize it's sung by limkokwing students and produced and recorded everything in limkokwing..hmm. not bad i'll say.

something to learn

It always sucks being in a group. it's not that i don't like it. but i always prefer individual groups. Cz you know what you're doing and you're never afraid that you'll be over doing or under-doing or crossing over what you're suppose to do.

So, yea.. and the other thing that sucks in a group assignment is that when you are new to everyone. The hardest part is ALWAYS passed to you. that's the worst. ugh.

So that's what happened to me right now. so frus.

Dedicated to hubby.

i love this song. ;DDD

Please comment

So, here would be a BIG help for my assignments.. i'm suppose to randomly ask questions to people and see what they think. So i'm gonna post the questions on my blog and PLEASE answer them . ;DDD.. thank u LOADDDSSS.. ;DD

1. what do you think about tattoos?

2. Will you get one done? If you will, what will it be and why?

3. Why do you think people get tattoos?

4. Would you be friendly with a person who has a full body tattoo?

5. Why people with tattoos always get the bad impression?

6. If you have a chance to change the people /public's mind about tattoo being bad. what would you?

___

there's more. but these 6 Question are the most important one. ;D. ur feedback will be REALLY help me. thanks.

26082009

So i just finished my dinner. ;DDD (*picture above*). so yea... quite full. though i still have a fetish of munching on things.

___

Today, i have Design Research class. and i'm doing on Tattoos. but still, i'm like half lost.. Assignments are pilling up and i feel so lost sometimes.

ugh.

____

Anyway, got quite annoyed with some people. Sometimes it's really funny how some people can be so close minded or stereotype. Or like how they judge a book thru the cover and when you tell him or her she just gives you the look? oh my god. i seriously can't stand people like that.

ugh.. anyway, don't wanna talk about people like that ANYMORE.

sooo, this week hasn't been a good week. can't wait for hubby to come back up.

OMG. seriously it hasn't been my week. Things haven't been good for me.. But oh well, keep the positive thinking up and things will turn over soon. ;D.

Now, back to assignments. OMG. i have work for each subject and i've not started what's due TOMORROW!! and it's 11.30 at night right now. sobs.

sigh

It's not everyday things work out for you. And it's not every month things are fine for you. In life, there's always the ups and the downs.

But i just NEVER thought things would be so much worst.

i miss you and i'm sorry

I feel so guilty. I shouldn't have put you into the plastic bag. I should have left you in MY HANDBAG!! but i just wanted more space. I was selfish and stupid. i'm sorry.

and i know i sound like an idiot.

but i can't help it. T____T

Last picture taken in the car.

First picture taken after i got my mac with you

The last christmas ever with you.

The last webbis session with BFF showing you

First ever picture taken you as model for my assignment

Last picture taken while you were with piggy head

Last picture taken you being squashed. (i hope no one will squash you now)

Last decent picture with mooo mooo

Last picture of your portrait picture in landscape mode.

Last picture you were trying to squeeze out the window.

Last picture me and hubby played with you

The VERY VERY VERY LAST picture i took with you. T___T

__

i'm so sorry... i shouldn't have been so selfish and stupid. If i could just have one more chance...

_

6 years ago, Me and my sister, carol were going to KL on a family trip. Both of us decided to walk back to the hotel, (JW Marriot) first as we were quite tired. and we were passing by Bukit Bintang. When i saw memory lane having a fair.. (on the Bukit Bintang side walk itself), and i happen to see stitches sitting right at the top of the shelf.

I poked carol and just went over without saying or looking at her. She stopped and followed me.. I took it down from the shelf and i fell in love with it that instant. I looked at carol with my baby eyes. and she knew i wanted it. She looked at the price tag and asked if i really wanted it. I nodded and played with stitches and TOTALLY hugged it and gonna walk away with it as if it was mine. and Carol just went to the counter to pay for stitches..

that was how i got stitches. It has been 6 years. all of our memories together. how worn out you were and i still loved you. How hubby and i played with you and it became like a small family. and now you're gone, i bet he hates me more.

I've cried for the whole day and i know i sound like a baby. But i just can't help it, because i love you too much. I tried going to the mall looking for another teddy. But not ONE could replace you. i love you. and i hope, nobody will squash you or mistreat you anymore.

Now no one will dance the Hokey Pokey, or sing the Itsy bitsy Teeny Weeny, pr dance the teapot and climb the itsy bitsy spider.

i feel so depress and FULL of guilt.

I'm sorrry.

family. ;D

Remind me that there's someone out there loving me. caring for me.

22082009

I just learnt something. that is. Some things.. SOME... are better off left unsaid.

I'm home in ipoh. and i just got off the phone with hubby. and..

i hate this feeling right now. i hate this feeling here. The feeling of guilt. and the hate of myself.

i went over the board and forgot who i was. Who i am to be. and what i was doing. i screwed up my job and i just aimless not knowing when my class is. or whether it is cancelled or not.

Maybe you were always right. shouldn't be blaming everyone else for what's happening, but myself.

For example: i shouldn't be angry and pissed at the uni as it's my fault for staying so far and being so unconvinient.

It's my fault that i didn't organize things well and everything is so messed up.

It's my fault for not arranging my time properly until it's all screwed up and my time is so messed up.

-

my heart wrench when i get lost in thought about how life would be next year. I just feel as though the whole world is coming down on me. Though i know our love will never fall even when hell freezes over. It all leaves to the hand of faith. But i know something, me leaving would be as if i'm walking away from this call our relationship. As we all know, you never believed in LDR's. and you never believe our words. Maybe as they always broke the promise. But i will keep to mine. To show you that in this very world, there is some girl existing that keeps her promise.

-

Though i asked myself before, is it wrong for me to hate someone? Is it wrong to hate my family? was it my fault i lived in a fucked up family where all i always have to do is put a smile on my face, crack up stories and make them feel my life is oh-so-perfect?

i hate being alone

.___.

so, i didn't see the bus this morning. so i took the cab to college.

._______.

anyway, class was suppose to be from 9 to 5. BUT it ended at 10.45am. soooooo, i'm like sitting aimlessly here... waiting.... waiting

and still waiting

waiting again

and waiting.

and will wait more.

my dear thong su-xian to come. HAHAA.. hope she can find this useless uni.

_

ok.. so this is what i wrote this morning

* This is killing me. As i stand here, i sudden realize how lonely it is. To be studying so far away. To be away from something call comfort. Maybe it might be different case for you as you've always had someone to love, somewhere to go. For me. it's only you. and now you're gone. leaving me to defend for myself alone.

i hate being alone. it's so damn inconvenient. like i'm using my laptop now. i can buy a drink. i can't go to the toilet. and the seats are filling up. later no space how?

.__.

maybe it's fated. by god that i'm meant to be alone.

20082009

So, i just found out the shuttle bus from subang jaya carefour to uni.. which cost RM168 a month.. O_O!!! what the heck??

i'm gonna try to catch the bus.. SEE they will be good hearted enough to let me go on the bus or not..tsk tsk tsk.. too bad they don't have lke per trip.. if not i'll be taking th bus already..

ANYWAY, i've resigned from starbucks.. i don't do jabs and injection. So, i'm going home this weekend..

and i'm lost with my work. T___T. so wanna cry.

and and and..

hubby's having his 3 weeks holiday.. SO NO CASSON LIEW for 3 weeks.. OMG. i'm so gonna die.

i feel loved

HAHAAA.. i feel so loved because liying misses my face. HAHAHAA

stress

OMG!.

i seriously don't know how to do my work. T___T. i'm so lost.

i want to cry. cz there's no one to ask.

___

stress is everywhere.. part of me really wanna quit my job. but then i'm not a person who gives up!. Am i? and plus. my boyfriend is going to laugh at me and say i can't survive stress and work.

well. lucky today is my day off.

i seriously don't know how i'm going to class or work next week. so screw it. let's just see what the boyfriend says. *sigh*. i feel like a big ass troublesome person who does nothing but trouble people. well see? i wasn't even wanted the day i was born. or maybe even born.

stop saying i do cz i'm being really stressed out and emo right now.

i know other girls are prettier, with better fashion instinct, and longer nicer glossy hair. i know the arabians got better nose than me. or bigger eyes than me. and a better body. and i'm nothing but a FAT BLOB which i do nothing but take up space. i should just be left along and rott to aside and die la.

i'm sick and i'm tired. i work my ass off and all i've asked is just a little appreciation and attention from you. wish i could stop working. but then don't want to be look down by you. so, screw it.

Feel sorry for you

Some people should really STOP making things worst for people..

and they should face the fact that 'THE WHOLE WORLD HATES YOU!''

i know you don't like me.

so

'STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU DO!''

but frankly speaking, at times i really pity you. That you don't even know what they hell you're doing. no aim of life so seriously, go get one!!. i'm not afraid to admit that i don't like you. But at least i'm not some two-face shit person who smiles and talk to me as if you like me and turn around and hate me. I've got a boyfriend who LOVES ME!!!!..

So i don't blame you, but you should really go get a life. Some things didn't even have ANYTHING to do with you, but you and your BIG FAT MOUTH just made things worst!. and when people just tell you a fact, you go around disturbing others about it. poor innocent other people, really. but wait. i don't think you even have a heart to consider others people feeling.

Think you can cause drama into our lives but you don't know any shit about what we've gone thru, so your 'actions' just made you look lame and stupid. i'm clearly not saying your name here. So when YOU read this. hope you don't go bothering others about it. or start spreading some shitty rumors to just get more attention to your life. But whoever reading this think it's YOU!. then maybe you should start changing and accept the fact that you should go GET A LIFE! and stop ruining people's life.

i may be mature and childish typing how i feel now. gonna read back months later thinking 'oh shit. i was so childish back then'. but i'm being really sarcastic and angry right now as i feel that i have the right to write whatever shit i want on my blog. You may not get my REAL meaning, but i don't care. cz to me. what can you do to me? Don't think you can make my life any worst. or are you gonna come over and bitch slap me? like you really dare.. hmph.. poor you people. with no life. and no aim at all.

tsk tsk tsk. i feel so sorry for you. aww.. maybe i should STOp talking cz firstly, it's NOT worth it. and secondly, i really pity you. *sigh*.

wasting my time and internet and my typing energy.

but it's worth it after i release what i feel.

hmph. like i care.

poser

see how some people SOOOoooOOOO rajin. HAHAHAAAA

;DDD

p/s. i force him to draw one. ;D

second day of clubbing

So the second day (there's more picture at facebook too)

we went to Rum Jungle AGAIN...

this time me and hubby were on the table stage thingy. HAHAA

i notice... our clothes are both plaited. HAHAAAA

weekend

So last last weekend.. (i know. it's a DAMN LATE update).

we went clubbin.. these were pictures on a saturday night. ;DD.. there's more on facebook. go see there!

HAHAHAA

don't have space to upload all.

my loves. HAHAAA>. ignore the middle guy. he's just a good friend. ;D

random

During the first week i came home after sem started. hubby was at my house.

HAHAHAHAAAA

this is what he does when he's bored and trying to cheer me up. HAHAHAA

I know!! my boyfriend may seem weird to you or smth like that.

but i find it cute. hmph! he's MY boyfriend anyway.

so it's the matter of how i see him .:DD

So i promised hillary i'll update more. HAHAAA>. don't want her to worry about me. ;DDD

will update pictures next so that my blog won't look so shitty and dead.

i'm still alive!

HAHAHAAA...

i'm so sorry about the 'lefted out' blog. >.<

the past week has been a real hectic one for me. ;DDD

Firstly, i'll start off with i was sick (you guys should know already). fever, flu, cough and so on. But i'm fine now. no more fever, no more flu, JUST the cough.

Then, the next thing would be i started my job at starbucks. HAHAHA.. Got to know a little slightly more about starbucks... i have been working for 3 days already. and i just started learning the Frappucino's. BUT, still not use to it yet,. haven't study or memorize anything. T_______T

Third, CASSON LIEW IS IN SINGAPORE!!!! T______T. lonely, i'm Miss lonely, i have nobody, all my own... ohhhhh~

Forth, I"M HUNGRY RIGH NOW!!!!!!!!

Fifth, uni sucks.... it's the second week and the lady i'm suppose to register with is ON MC!!!! i'm suppose to go straight to a class.. on the way met a new friend 'Rena'. She's from Arabia.. quite pretty i'll say. ;D. and i find it really hilarious when she speaks Arabic very fast especially when she's nervous or in a hurry, and then she'll turn to me saying ''correct?''.. HAHAA.. then i'll give her the blank ''english please'' face. Then she starts laughing and apologizing. HAHAHAHAA.. so cute..

Sixth, i'm late for class again. but waiting for sean. FUCK hungry. T_____T

seventh, i'm hungry

eigth, i'm hungry

ninth, i'm STILL hungry.

tenth... i'm so fat already..

so yup. ten updates about me. HAHAHAAA....

so. i'm stil sick and hubby decided to bring me go see the doctor.

turns out, it's quite severe. but NOT H1N1. no it's NOT. but antibiotic in my body really low. that's what he say.

and turns out. my fever is 39 degree !!! omg. hubby say if 40 then will go crazy. HAHAAA..

ok. din go class today. but had mc. Then have to rest for fri's work. ugh. well. at least i have to go for the first impression.;D

ugh.

feel so sick.. i feel like puking any minute..

T_______T

waiting for hubby's dinner. he's cooking tonight.

feel so dead.

me, myself and i

so, i'm back at KL right now. and was pretty emo shit.

1stly: the mom thingy.

2ndly: the bf thingy.

and

3rdly: the self-thingy.

Everything seems such a big thing, like who i really was, or what i really was and all that. i'm tired of arguing, to speak out for my rights,guess after the few months of trying to speak out my points have just left be to nothing but being a bitch. Sometimes i feel that enplaning something to someone isn't as easy as teaching them ABC. People are getting so rebellious right now, it's like words can[t prove anything. you need incidents, or situations to happen to prove to them, and even incidents or experience people see are slightly different than what you thought and feel. I wanted to argue, but didn't want to look as if i'm covering up my ass, so i just shut up. But instead, my heart was torn into pieces. The disappointment in myself. I should have been smarter, to be more aware of surroundings and make it clear so that people will not accuse me or think wrong of me.

Maybe the oldself me was better. Though, whatever i do is never perfect enough for you. Never gonna be THE ONE. Everything i do, i do it for you. even if i did it for you and you didn't know, but yet you feel that i'm changing. it doesn't matter. i'll just have to find a way thru.

Then another burden come on me and i feel the stress around me. I try not to care, not to think and stay away from it. but fingers are still pointing at me. what else can i do? i can tell people, i can't talk to them about it. Things happening inside and outside. It's as if, there's no where i could run and hide.

But now, with a new job, starbucks. I hope, things would be so much better. and from there, i can show you, you and you. i am not who you think i am. call me a bitch and i don't care. i'm gonne find what i want. MY WAY!

Don't confuse me.

Sometimes i really wonder what you are thinking. Though i sometimes i feel that i'm nobody. Not someone to judge you or stand in your way. but after all this time. Don't tell me feelings never occur between us? The toleration i have to go through. Sometimes i'm sick of all your bullshit and stop treating me like this.

At times i wanna stand up and just hit the table and tell you that you're so stupid, but at times i feel that maybe it's not worth it. Whenever you smile and put a smile on my face, i forget about everything, all the frustration and the hate within me. But whenever things like this happens, i feel so .. UGH!. i can't say i hate u. cz i love too much to hate. Sometimes i feel that you're just so darn selfish but i daren't say anything. wtf.

*sigh*. i don't want to write much in case you understand what i write. anyway, a lesson to learn? Maybe i should stop trying to put so much effort and wait for you to put more. cz at times i feel like an idiot like i'm so despo for it.

don't want to say much. ciao

officiallly employed. >.<

So yes... as my titled says it. ;D.. i'm officially a starbucks employee right now. HAHAAA.. heard from my friend she tried to get the job but she didn't. even carol didn't get it!! HAHAA.. well, cz they fella was like they don't have empty vacancy. so. oh well. ;D. it was my luck..

So, went thru a BIG HELL INTERVIEW which i was sweating my palms off. HAHAA. but hey! i finally got it. ;DD
now to mention what i'm gonna face. 1st month it's gonna be lots of things to do. cz there's actually a test!!!! well, who expected that working at starbucks there's a test to go? But from what i heard from my manager, she say so far no one has failed. HAHAA.. 17 chapter in 4 weekss.... hmm. that means 5 chapter A WEEK!!!!. hope it's not hard. . but somehow i'm realllllyy looking forward toward it. ;DDDD

but one troublesome thing. i need to have my EPF done. wth. ugh.

Gonna start the training NEXT weekend. but before that, i have to go to a first impression thingy. (not sure what's that. but have to wear formally for F&B [food and beverage]. So then, after that, need to go down to Berjaya Time Square for 2 days training.. well, more like one and a half day. HAHAAA....
oh!!! and i get to learn the recipe of ALL the coffee's and beverage there! HAHAA. ;D. yay to me.. i've got a boyfriend who is DEEPLY in love with coffee. HAHAAA.. maybe part of me is wanting to learn more is cz of him;D

so.. HAHAAA.. wish me luck and all the best. though i know it's gonna be all about TIME MANAGEMENT!!!!

yesterday....

all my troubles seems so far away.~~~~

lalalalalalalala- stupid song stuck in my head.

ANYWAY. really random pictures of yesterday. Hubby had presentation ytd. (first time ever he wore nicely to class). all his classmates were shocked. i'm seriously. it's like seeing cinderella in her wedding gown. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA... anyway, we went to eat pork noodle at ss15 for lunch..

then i went t pyramid. bought a hair dryer. >.< . some stuff. and magazine. ;DDD buahahahaaa

then hubby came and find me. poor thing. by the time he found me. he was all sweating from all the walking. HAHAA

then we had secret recipe.. WOHOOOO




mini burgers. blueberry cheese cake . ice lemon tea. ;DDDD

i'm in love with mini burgers. with ALPHABETS FRENCH FRIES!!!!! omg. i sound like a kid seriously.

__

i just sudden know what about be the best birthday cake. HAHAAAA.. *hint*hint*.

a new york cheese cake. ;D. with FRESH STRAWBERRIES ON TOP!!!!!. too bad they don't have fresh blueberries HAHAAA..

if not. blue berry cheese cake with strawberries!!!!. omg.. blueberry cheese cake with fresh strawberries. AHHHHHHHH.... i want that. HAHAHAAAA.. i'm being so obvious right now.

>.<

broadband piss me off

argh. internet connection is NOT STRONG ENOUGH!!!.. so much things i wanna blog about. but yet.

stupid connection. blah.!!! it won't update my photo's. *sigh*

this IS something

Ever heard of Urban dictionary? HAHAAA.. if it wasn't for xian i wouldn't even know too.;D.

it has the funniest thing. some are quite true. HAHAHAA

check this out..

1. Catherine

Hella orgasmic cosmopolitan mama with no babies. Wicked, happy, and the sexiest piece of ass your pearly whites will never sink in to. An amazing individual who beasts at everything. She takes crap from no one and makes people laugh like there's no fucking tomorrow. Sweet most of the time but will shut a bitch up quick. Shes athletic and loves music.. and shes a sexy piece of ass as well. a girl who never gives up hope never lets out how she feels and keeps it all locked up inside she tries to laugh but life isnt a joke.shes pretty wonderful A really really great person. Regarded by most as the greatest, sweetest, awesomest, coolest, nicest, and greatest thing thats ever happened to their lives. an interesting little chick who is mostly crazy all the time and enjoys random songs by demi lavoto and hillsong. she happens to be a very good best friend and seems to be addicted to music....and whipped cream. she hates cats. 2. Jeanette A very sexy young woman with a great ass and nice tits. Also very flirtatious. trashy ass hoe bitch, a mother who is very old but awesome and crazy. takes care of her baby like a lion. .. HAHAHAAAAAAA..

HAHAA

Everyone who has a laptop has trouble trying to cool down their laptop. buying laptop coolers, and finding ways to cool their laptop. Isn't it? Those overseas.. i don't know. But those n m'sia here. It's definately.

Some has gone through cases like laptop shutting off by itself cz it's too hot. I have gone through a case that my laptop wouldn't charger because the ADAPTER was overheated. But this morning. I found my laptop off. And i tried to turn it on. But i couldn't. And when i touhed it. it was COLD> like you just took it out from the fridge. HAHAHAAA.. so it just wouldn't turn on. We open the door. Took the battery out. off the aircon. and waited for like 2 min. and turn it on again. it worked

well, this proves that laptop can't be used if it's too cold either. HAHAA..

i swear. never in my year i've used my mac that it's been that cold. HAHAA

♥ We are sisters. ♥

♥ love sayang. ;DDDDD

hehez..

i was looking thru random files trying to sort it out when i found these.. HAHA

I MISS YOU LE~ ♥