*sigh*

Minute by minute i sit here and think. What is happening? why is this happening?
Tears is falling down my cheek. Why is this? Can someone please tell me?
My heart hurt. Why? Baby, why is this happening to me?
I don't want, i want to see you smile like last time.
Sometimes, my vision goes blur and my face wet. Why?
I don't know what to say. Everytime i open my mouth, i am afraid that it would happen again.
Is there something i did wrong? What is it?
Please tell me.

Again and again i tell myself, i find the facts that i am wrong, but why am i still feeling so emo and sad?
I miss you, i want to see you. I want to hug you, I want to sleep on your lap. I want you to smile at me and say i am cute.
I want you to look at me in the eye and tell me that you love me. I want to play guitar and sing song with you.
I want to cook maggie with you. I want to wake up in the morning, and kiss you on the cheek telling you that i am going off.
I want to watch tv with you. I want to play with you. I want to sleep in your arms and listen to you talk.
What happen to the days? We use to be so happy and lively. What happen to us?
Why must this happen? I don't want.

Now, i am all alone, in my room, every night, i sleep alone in my spacious room, with an empty bed next to me.
With snuffles and stitches, something seem to be missing. I miss the times we use to snatch for the space inside.
Now, i can sleep where i want. but it is so empty, I don't want this. I want you to be here.
In the middle of the night, i wake up, feeling so uncomfortable, i want you to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be fine.
In the morning i wake up, with a nightmare, all alone, my room so empty. My parents are not in, they are not free, my brother iin school.
I call up my friends, nobody is free. I go out, i go walk around in the shopping mall alone, tryin to get it off my mind,
But i can't, i miss holding your hands while going out. I miss walking round and round the same place with you.
So, i decided to buy and try on some clothes, but then, i miss you not holding my bag.
i miss you giving opinion on the clothes.
Then i go home, i miss using up the lift, getting ready my own key to open the door.
my maid opens the door and i force a smile, i miss you opening the door for me.
I go up the stairs, i miss going in the lift with you, I miss having fun with you in the lift.
I o in my room, i see my guitars on my sister's bed, and i play it, but, i miss playing with you. I miss you teaching me.
I miss you being impress and i miss you telling me i play and catch up better than you.
At night, i miss watching movie with you in your room, i miss you laughing at me and say me kesian cannot find a comfortable position.
I miss cleaning up your room, I miss wearing your shirt.
All in all, i realize how much i missed you...

*sigh*

Is it my fault? That I miss you so much that i miss you until i have no mood to do anything.
I miss you so much thai fuss over small things. I miss you so much that i don't want to talk to anyone else.
I miss you so much that it has made me change. Is it my fault? i'm sorry if it is. i'm sorry. i love you.
i really do. i miss you so much that i myself don't know what i am doing. I'm sorry, please forgive me.
i know that you don't like it. but i will try my best just keep it in me for two months. i'm sorry.
it's not your fault. I should have known that you were sleeping, and i should not ask for your atention so much since you are so far away.

i'm really sorry. i really love you.