.part of the family.

last night, i went out with my cousin Kim Soon, his wife and daughter..[i'm too lazy to explain about the relationship cz it's too complicated]^^

so, we went to puchong some part to eat..thai restaurant..it was nice..^^...lee ann is 7 already..i forgot to take her picture..she's so cute..^^..and she has her own ipod nano..the new one..X_X..i was like OMG!!!kim soon!!u bought her a ipod nano!!! then he was like...ling, she's the only child ma..i was like..i wanna be part of the family...T_T...

well, i was sorta part of the family that night..after dinner we went to tesco..^^..lee ann was pushing a small trolley, and i was pushing the big trolley. haha..then we went shopping..haha..my cousin was like chasing her all the place..and the wife was with me..lee ann was like so hyper...and then it just reminded me of someone..hahahaha....

then, lee ann started counting in the car..from 1 to 200...haha...she's SoooooOOOO cute....little babies and children are cute...[don't get the naughty wans..they are a pain in the a**]
haha....

.an early morning.

Be independent. B-E. independent..
ok..don't ask me what's with the cheer chant.
in my mind. i'm just debating whether to go out or not. If i go out, i'll be going out alone...
haihz...where is my girlfriend?? i'm just so sick and tired..[reli literally sick and tired too]
haha...what can i say???i'm weak???O_________o..

this is just so random..it's only 9 smth and i'm already awake. I was suppose to go out with jang, gerald and wiliam, but at the end, william din wanna go. and without him, jang and gerald don't know how to go there. so they decide not to go. So i also end up not going. Then i wass thinking, since i am already dress up. do i want to go anywhere? then the next question. where???with who??=____________=''''''

this is just so sad..

.Do i Have To Do Everything.

geez...yea...that's what's in my mind..do i reli have to do everything here??haihz...i'm just so tired of it..
but "keep it up" i always tell myself. but u know what breaks me down? After doing everything. Nobody realize, they either think it's just a easy work where u count 1,2,3 it's done. Or they just think that someone else will do it.
Yea, people ask me. why bother then? firstly, cz i care!!! and if i don't anything, it effects all of us here. and i would be to blame. why nag and say why bother but u can smile and say i'm always the best? this is the problem with people..do i have to do everything? do i even have teach u what u should do or say??geez..

.Just Ignore Me.

is there anything wrong being unhappy??

geez..sorry if u guys have to bear with it la. just ignore ma. cz no point explaning. i'm just lazy to explain. cz u won't understand. so why bother. i'm not in the mood means no mood la..mming zhi no mood somore wann ask..

.pray for dinner.

for tonight, i've decided to cook cabonara. for once. i just need to eat something i love and just hope that it comes out well..=]..^^

i'm just starving and i'm hungry...i boughr macoroni and cheese that day..and i forgot to bring it here...T______T'm trying to do my work here..
but my frigging laptop is not cooperating with me.
i'm just so glad that i don't have to entertaint this shit after this

.LEAVE ME ALONE.

today is just not my day. i'll just swear and just curse and sulk and be emo.

so just, try to bear with me.

i'm here in hostel, thnx to a fucking lecturer, i can't change my class. and this is already a problem. our class is different, we can't discuss it together. we end at a different time.

today is life drawing, i end at 4.30. y friends end like 12. u think they'll wait for 4 friggin hours??

then, assignments are just dead, i seriously do not know what to do. the stupid lecturer say use illustrator, i don't have, everyone say use photoshop also can. the problem is..I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP TO DO THESE FUCKING THINGS!!!!!..

ok, then i ask my friends, they say ''shouldn't your lecturer teach u how to use it??'' i was like ''that fucker i don't think he knows..''
Then, ok,..let's wiggle with photoshop and i don't give a damn...then i realized, my fucking laptop is giving me so much fucking problem that i can't even use photoshop anymore.. so, tell me..what the fuck can i do????

thnx to my mom. i can't move, i have to stay in this crappy place. i don't know where it goes, i don't think it goes anywhere.. there's no public bus..NO wait..there is..one which goes to hell..where u got lost and can never come back. what the point of that bus then? geez...the cab's are so friggin expensive.
we are students...students who are living for a budget..those who eat maggie just to be able to spend better..
not to eat maggie just to pay tha cab's...
if i say, i pay 50 for food outside, or movie, or shirt, and i'll have to eat maggie for a week. i understand..
but it's not..i pay 50 for a cab..!!!!. who pays 50 for a cab? just to go somewhere? it's just insane..i'll never do that..it's just so nt worth it. i rather wait and change busses then to do smth like that..

i'm so restless and sick and tired of my life..

.Just so Unexpected.

wow..i was just shock and suprised.

i was half-asleep on the sofa in the living-room. and then i decided to take a shower and then i was in the toilet when my roomate came back. then i realized that i forgot to bring my towel in. so i went to my room to take it. when shirley all of the sudden asked me if i was sick.

i was like.O_____o?? how did she know??? well, how stupid of me to ask, it's not like it's not obvious that u are sick or not right? then she mentioned that i could've told her then she could on the fan instead of the air-con. she looked and sounded as if she felt bad that i ended up in the living room and i was sick. i could tell she felt bad, so i told her it's ok and i'm getting better now..^^

i was so shock and suprise. yea, i'm recovering now..hopefully will be able to get an exciting weekend.

.busy busy me.

ok, so here i am. another busy day. and recovering from the sick. went to see the doc today..alone..=____=..well, i had nothing to do, so i went. paid for the medi, waited for another 2 hours.

so here i'm back, there's so many things to do and plan. so i reli apologize deeply here if i'm missing anything. but pls do keep me updated and drop me a comment..^^..

sorry for the inconvinient that i have changed my blog linked, i din wan some other people i do not want them to know..^^

anyway, i gotta start my work. i'll try to post and keep things updated later on.=]

.being sick is not something everyone would want to be.

i could not sleep in my own room. i had to sleep on the sofa for 2 weeks in a row. I had to suffer through the uncomfort. woke up at 9 in the morning and my friend told me they have left, i couldn't get up and i realized that i still had my fever and my throat was killing me. So then, i din get out of my bed and went back to sleep.

so there i was, sweating and just flipping and turning thinking when would i be better. got up at noon and msg sayang that im not going to class, then i went back to sleep. finally, i got up three smth, drank some water and jsut lay at the sofa till 5 and i sat in front of my laptop and checked my friendster and chatting with bryan. then i lay back on the sofa..god..i just feel as if i dun have energy. then here i am, 6.15 posting this blog...

.still sick.

this is just so killing me. being sick is just so sick...O______o??[what am i saying???]

having high fever 5 in the morning? and then i couldn't get up. a bad flu and sore throat?? felt like i had no energy. i just wanted to faint and wake up and nothing happened.

Damn it, it's just so killing me. i can die. for two weeks and i was sick all the way, wtf??? one after another...these sickness, germs, bacteria loves me izit? and the viruses loves my laptop.
=____________=''''

listening to Jay Chow=]

.Je suis malade.

well, here i am. sick again. damn it la.. and i was just recovering from the previous one.
wow..
i had food poisoning last weekend. Then, the next few days i had infection for a week. then now, i'm recoveing, then i'm down with a flu and a fever...T________________T
why is this happening to me??*sigh*

my nose is like a leaking pipe. and my throat feels like flaming and stuck..and then fever just comes up and down.. and i feel hot and cold..
what is wrong with me???i'm so weak..
haihz....

shopping with dad

.shopping with dad.

today morning i woke up at 7..=_______=. i can't sleep late cz my mom would start nagging..i was like..geez..gimme a break..so got up..went to church..and then went to eat breakfast in town...=]..^^..took some picture..dadadadada..and then..my dad and i went to parade..
mom bought me this new pair of shoes..cz my older wan is not smth anyone would wanna wear out..so anywayz, dad bought me to pair of shorts too and ask me to keep the price from mom..haha..suprise my dad would say that.

I came back yesterday –home-.

Told my dad about my uncomfort and then we talked..lucky I got out of trouble. Anyway, feeling much better but my dad sez it’ll take a few days more.

Watched High School Musical 2 yesterday. Err…. I preferred the music in the first movie..The second one is just……NOT GOOD…o only like 2 songs..the duet by Troy[Zac Efron^^] and Gabriella [Vannesa Hudgen..=/]

She cut her hair in the second one..looked much better in long hair..

Anyway, my mom woke me up at like 8 smth in the morning wanting me to go out for breakfast with her and grandparents..So, then, I dragged myself out of bed and then went out. Now, I’m home waiting for my friends call…and waiting for the frigging internet to connect.

avril in my hands..

life drawing now... the title is...portrait..haha...^^.. that is avril lavigne..i took three hours to do it.. it's not really perfect right?? i'm not good in it...T_T why do i need this illustration???
my drawing...
the original one...

home

tomorrow morning i am going home..yea..
home..and tomorrow night i feast seafood and saturday i feast bbq...
and i'm getting my credit card..^^..my dad called my yesterday and told me that the card is ready..yes...i wan my pair of sketches..i wan my dress...

so, tomorrow i'm going to class..sorry sayang..cannot see u..muakkzx..but i'll always love u..^^

sometimes i reli wonder why i can't i drive? then at least i can start complain i want a car..T____T
anyway, matthew's birthday is coming up. guys? any idea what to give a 15 year old kid?haha..not kid..a teenager..

so i'm gotta pack..hmm...what to pack? i reli wonder..haha..i know i'll be bringing clothes to wash..haha..loads of them..i'm too lazy to wash it here..

i miss food.

it's been a while

91/100 for design studies typography test...haha..it has been like ten years since i got a 90 for anything..^^ reli... it's just amazing..well, i reli have to thank bryan the most..^^..if it wasn't for him. i don't know what will come out too..
and edmund..for discussing with me...haha...^^

so, today i had the test, after that i had no class..and then i realized that i needed to do my newsletter..and i haven't done anything about that too..and i think presentation is like 2 more weeks...T_____T..
so many things to do..
well..work hard and gambateh..^^

to all my friends too..

trainers for driving

well, when u learn how to ride a bike, u have these trainer lil wheels right?haha...have u seen people training for driving? i have. it's not scary at all.

two person sitting in the front. the one on the driver's seat will be training his eyes and legs. where the other one will be training his hands and eyes. haha..
sitting in the back side, the car is going 100km/h..this guy turns the sterring wheel with only his right hand from the passenger seat next to the driver's seat. haha..and the other controls the break and the accelerater. wow..so this is what 2 people do when they love driving but only have one car..haha...^^

listening to secret- jay chow
mood-tired..

am i going to far?

i love you

wasted

*sigh* i'm so emotionless here. i don't know if i'm hungry or just normal. I don't know if im tired or just normal. i don't know what i can do anymore.
I don't know what is happening next to me. I don't know what is this. I thought i had it, but it ust doesn't seem like it. because i just realize, dreams will always remain as dreams. because if not, it will not be call dreams anymore. do you agree with me?

ok. why am i so bloody emo right now? because i feel so angry and pissed off. that i'm not doing things the right way. and what's worst i'm watching a bloody emo drama. ish..what's wrong with me? wasted down the drain..what's the different than taking shots and getting drunk then? i feel so damn wasted man.. and i have a test tomorrow..

get up get up get up..=__________=''
this is just so weird..geez..

it's either i sleep now and study later or study now and sleep later?? hmmm...i reli wonder...

geez

backing off and keep saying you are the lonely guy and all that doesn't make things better. but make me worst.

i'll tell u why.
u always say u are alone.
you always say i have someone to talk to and u have noone to talk to.
u think u are alone?
and yet u are asking me to be much more mature and grow up.

and say u are not emo guy. haha..yea right..
when u are over there saying you are the lonely guy in the world.
the world hates u.
and then all that crap.
u think i never hear before??
ask me to grow up.
after u la then..

im not an octopus

i'm a girl who has feelings..

so what if im a bitch who is inconsiderate?

so what if im a bad planner?

i know u are a bad planner..then? don't expect me to change.

if you think i'm a bad planner, then i am.

tired of all this shit..

everyday u scold me.. no wait..
it's more like you're nagging and you're giving lectures and speeches..
i feel like i'm talking to my mom sometimes..
geez la.

u think i wanna leave without telling ga? then i'm sorry la..
i'm feeling so fucking depress, offended and insulted..
and i'm sorry that i'm feeling like that cz it's my fault.
im being immature ma..
i'm being childish ma..

u always say u tired..u think i'm not a? u think i'm not tired?
u think i'm a robot where i can switch my mood whenever i want?
i'm becoming emotionless because of u.
everyday you have to at least lecture me.
everyday there is a frown on you face..
what's the point of all my wishes of u being happy then?

one minute u lecture and scold..the next u apologize and start saying sorry..
i'm not a robot ok?

my friends say so many things i'm trying to ignore.
there's so many things i din tell u what ppl say about u.
it's not that i don't trust u.
it's cz i don't b'liv that's why i push it away and ignore it.
but u know? recently, it just comes back..
everytime u and i get into this..it comes back..

someone please help me..i reli do not know what to do? here i am trying my best, but noone except ai van and my newly god-bro..[you know who u are..]knows what i am going through..
i'm so afraid that one day i'll break down and just give-up...

com lab again

so here i am again in the com lab..
geez..i got this new blog skin layout thingy but i dunno how to put my stuff in it..
*sigh* i guess i suck real bad at it..
i'm with sayang now..but sayang wasn't reli talking to me today..T_____T..
but i very guai guai lui..cz i just sat and kept quite...^^

but sayang say he's not feeling well. so i also don't know what to say. Guess i just am not good in doing things like this huh....=________=

i'm so tired...class for today has ended..but i gotta wait for sayang's friend to fetch me back..

why can't i move out? Dag it...T__T.. so troublesome...ish...

so, i don't know what to write..
tonight i gotta study study study..cz tomorrow i'll be having my design studies test..on what?? on... typography..*sigh*...well, gotta brainstorm..and this time..
i'm all alone...

anymore books?

wonder what's that???
13 books of them..
the series of the unfortunate events...haha..by lemony snickets..
today, sayang turned up all sudden at my unit door was so shocked and suprised.. i was still in my sleeping clothes..haha...then...sayang was holding big plastic bags..i thought he went shopping or something like that. apparently, he had the car, so he drove all the way here..wow...amazing..thankx sayang..^^
then, sayang bought some bread for me..

and then, sayang open the plastic bag and wished me happy birthday..
and then there it was..
the whole set of the unfortunate events by lemony snickets..
omg..wait..let me breath..OMG....the whole set..13 books here...
thank you sayang..very mcuh..*huggies*

another dslr

sayang bought a dslr today. wow.. happy for him..^^
i din reli take a look at it. haha.... so, sayang...hope we'll be good use of it..^^
love ya..

another start with an afternoon

woke up at 1.30 in the afternoon. wanted to continue sleeping and get all the rest i can because the night before i did not reli sleep due to the food poisoning. but sayang kept calling me like at 10 and then i don't know. i think only that time. I felt really very bad because i did not hve the energy to talk to him. honey, i love you.mmuakzx...*huggies*

right now i'm here, in the living room again. going to start my work after i post this blog. My body is not well, but do hope i have the strength to do my work.

sayang, i miss you so much..
reli do hope you'll get better.
muakzx..

food poisoning..a.g.a.i.n.

i have food poisoning again. This is not the first time, this year, it's like the fifth time or smth like that. am i that weak? omg...*sigh*..
I couldn't sleep the whole night last night, the whole day, i had a feeling to vomit, but i couldn't . Until one in the morning, it was like going to come out, but waited till 2 in the morning only it came out. Omg..my dinner, half a plastic bag..i so wanted to cry, after that i just drank some water and ribena bit by bit. till 4 in the morning only i fell asleep.
Today, i had the feeling of vomiting again and i feel so weak. my stomach is grumbling and having tornado's. but still i can't vomit..i just do hope it'll go away..T____T

a dedication to you from jeje

FONG WEI BIN..
happy birthday to you didi..^^
16th September is my lovely didi's birthday..

hmm.. wei bin, i'm really very sorry that jeje can't be there for your birthday..
but i promise you a present yea?

weibin is a very cute one.. he got loads of girls going after him. haha..
He's very lazy one..but very smart. Last time, when i first got to know him well, he was always playing Dota, hmm. Now don'tknow if he is still playing that much or not. ^^
He also like to sleep alot. He gets all his beauty sleep he needs and he has.
Sometimes, he is very naughty also. But, deep inside, he is a very great guy.
He always care for me his jeje. We had happiness and sadness, he was always there for me and he tries his best to make me happy.

At times, when he has his own problems and frustration, he can be quite emo and fierce. although i never see him raise his temper but i knw he can be reli scary..^^.. He use to be a very shy guy among girls..but right now, he has changed..f-yoh.. he has a girlfriend now, well, all the best to you didi..^^..

Here i wish you a very happy birthday,
hope all your wishes and dream come true.
i hope you are happy to read this dedication from jeje to didi..^^
I hope you won't forget me even you got your girl now..=]
Hope you can get what you want to get.
Don't ignore me yea..

haha..jeje here don't know what to say,
it's like, everything i say is the same..
well, FONG WeI BIN..
YOU'RE THE BEST!!!=]
hope you can be happy..
and don't be so emo..^^
you ask jeje be happy, you too yea..
well, happy birthday,
Hope you have a great sunday and won't be stuck at home..^^


-smile and the world will smile to you-

little girl grow big

well, a little girl here has grown big..^^
yesterday, after class me, sayang, bryan and everyone else went down to subang.. it was raining half-way when we went there..
had some problems with the stayings..not me..but them..
So then, we checked in and then we rested till 6 and we left to asian cafe and ate dinner there.
Then, we went to sunway to hang out.. we watched 'hairspray'.omg.the more i watch it, the more i wanna learn swing..
Sayang bought me ice-cream..^^..then we sat down there around the ice-skating ring watching the ice-hockey practise..
then we just hanged around and went to watch the mid-night movie..
haha..then after the movie was about 1 something. we walked back and washed up in the room..
the last minute of my 17th, sayang wished me happy birthday, looked at me in the eye and kissed me...aw...so sweet...
sayang..i love you..=]..muakzx..*huggies*..i'm so glad to have you..
even though we have things coming between us..it's not stopping us..^^

photographers we are

jon, sean, me, bryan, edwin..we took this in sunway...
we're such posers..haha...
we are the next genaration for the best photographer...^^
me and sayang..
me and sayang again eating in tgi..^^
me ans sayang dancing ddr...the bset we are..^^
omg..i cannot 'liv that there's actually ddr in sunway...OMG...^^

why is this feeling inside me??
i'm so bloody emo..

thank you sayang

my honey, composed a song for me..i love it so much..i will be trying to put it here on when i know how to..^^
i love it so much that i heard it over times and times..
sayang, thank you very much..i really love it and appreciated it..^^

buh-byez 17-the clock strike

well, here i say buh-byez to 17..i'm no more 17.. wow.. 18 years has passed.. hmm. lets see.. what have i been doing???

ok... i was born in this world..and was given a family..^^..i remember the days where me and carol use to play in the porch, wow...and then, i remember being extremly excited that i was going to the same school as carol..haha...just miss the old days..

well, byez 17 and hello 18 is all i can say..^^

18 is the age when you are allowed and drink, smoke, drive[ already 17], watch movie and go out without getting caught...could not imagine i'm already 18. wow..time reli passed..haha..i cannot imagine that..[omg..i'm so near to tears]

worst presentation

omg..i can not believe it..
today i had my presentation for my design studies..
he left for 5 minutes when i was having the presentation..
if he did it when i was in 2B. i was still ok..
but no..i was being stared and standing right in front of the class where i have been for 2 days only. i know.. it's not that i totally don't know these people. i know them as in quitance excluding two or three..aih..
so, i had to stand there like freak or dunno what.. so, i waited and waited and w.a.i.t.e.d....
Then, he came back and started saying comment on my picture..i dun even want to rmb what he said about it..ish ish ish...so yea..found sayang..felt bad cz i was like telling him about the friggin presentation..i'm sorry sayang...

i went to jj with sayang and his friends..
sayang, thank u very much..^^..muakzx..for spending time with me. love love love..hehez...^^
missing you alot le..^^
reli wonder what u would be doing eh..missing u so much..

a different day

so, right now.... i'm in a different class.. this is just so weird...what can i do? Everybody is asking me whether is it confirm and all that...sigh..

Recently i have so many things on my mind..there's just so many things bothering me..and i feel bad for my honey...cz he is worrying so much..muakzx..honey..i love you and thank you for caring..i really appreciate it..^^..

i stole ming's lunch today..hehez..i was actually in a reli reli bad mood today..until ming showed me the crazy girl's blog..haha..revenge time..buahahaha...it reli cheered me up till class time..i din think about all the problems..just ming in my mind..^^.. thank u sayang..i love you very much..muakzx...
love love love..^^..hehez...

rmb to go to my xanga blog to be updated bout my work..^^

where am i??

today i woke up at 8.30. i did not want to get up. cz just having the though that i am going to be in another class is just so disturbing. i hate it..i was so pissed of at that frigging lost lecturer..
I followed kev lo's car, cz Edmund, who is in 2A, i'm following him.

I reli need to thank Eric and Edmund for making feel comfortable at least, they did not ignore me.

Today was creative studies. Big project coming up and i know i'm gonna be damn busy in the next six month.
*sigh*. what can i say? tears are all dried up. I'm just so friggin sensitive that even talkin about the changing class thing, i cry.. what to do?

I'm so down today and i did not eat lunch, i just did not have the appetite to eat. don't ask me why.

Tomorrow i have Design studies and i have the presentation. currently i'm doing my painting. i went to look for the friggin lecturer and Bryan was doing his presentation. Bryan, i'm so sorry that i interupted and disturbed you that moment.

i'll wait

i'll wait... till you're ready..

i love you.. till death...

carol..i miss u

troubles in my head..
omg...

i can't wait for carol to come back in december..
i miss her so much..
she's just the only girl i can trust..
of cz..she's my lovely sista!!!^^

carol..i miss u!!
i miss the times..
where we go shopping..
where we go look for clothes...
where we try it on..
where we play around..
where we tell each other secrets..
where we talk about guys..
where we talk about our boyfriends..
where we look for heals..
where we try on shoes..
where we buy stuff and share..
where we take many many random shots and pictures..
where we sleep together..
where we hug each other..
where we go out together..
where u bring me go clubbing..

where are u? i miss you..

i love you..and you love me..
i remember during our birthdays, we always exchange gifts..and i always try my best to make u happy..
but this year..
you are not here..
not for my eighteenth birthday..
carol? i'm 18 this friday..
i can go out with u not worrying that i can't go in clubs or movies or places..
i'm gonna get my license soon then i'll be driving u in december..

are u coming back before your birthday? or after? nevermind, we can celebrate it late together..we'll go out together..al night long..^^...i miss the days...
i love u so much..i don't care if people don't remember here.. i don't care if 14th september is another screwed up day..cz, you're not here and it hurts the same..
could you replace the day when u are here?

carol...do u miss me? are u thinking of me? why does my heart hurt? carol...
i'm so confuse nowadays, are u reading this carol? i miss you alot..so much that sometimes it i feel it's so near yet o far..klia is just here..why can't i just sneak into the plane and go find u? why is it possible in movie's but not here?
carol? why are there tears? why am i crying? why is it that recently everything seems to be coming down on me? why is it that i am specially emotional nowadays. carol? i miss you so much. you use to make things better for me. you use to take me out and cheer me up. you use to look at me and hug me and say 'you silly girl'.. i miss u..
i miss your smile.
i miss your laughter.
i miss you getting mad and angry at me..
can i take your things? so u will rush back here and scold me?

i miss the days we go out and confuse ppl cz we don't look alike..
i miss the days where u would hold me and bring me to your friends..and everyone would stare at me and they don't believe that it's me..
i miss that days where we buy ice-cream..
i miss the days we have...

not as hard as i thoiught it was

so, i had test today..mid-term test..wow..so fast mid-term..
well, it wasn't as hard as we expected..not tat we knew all, but with 'guide's of our own ways...haha..we manage to come out with answers..haha...
so, it was over...haha...
right now..
sulking and getting moody and sad...
cz tomorrow i wwon't be in the same class already..
screw the friggin staffs..
now i'm gonna be in the class where i only know edmund and eric are there..*sigh*...what did i even do to get this?? stupid..now i gotta start worrying about my transportation.. and then my work.. which group am i in and all those crap...*sigh*

yet a survery

1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your
forehead?
- for my ming..of cz..^^

2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
- haha..short party dress??? big poofy dress are fun too..^^

3. What would you do if you received a
long love letter?
- from others? i dunno..i dun receive them..but from my ming, i'll reply it of cz..

4. Group dates or single dates?
- haha..single dates...but group dates are fun once in a while...

5. Do you hate it when guys act
different around their friends?
- depending on how they act different...for worst of cz not..

6. Are diamonds a girls best friend?
- haha...r u asking bout me or overall girls??

7. Is your hair up or down today?
- down..it's mostly down..

8. Do you straighten your hair?
- yes..it's important..cz it keeps my hair in shape..

9. Favorite mascara?
- currently using maybeling..gonna change soon..not so good..

10. Do you get your nails done?
- yea..its better than doing it myself.

11. Small or large purses?
- dependin on when..small are cute..

12. In your purse, what are your must haves?
- ming's pictures..^^..cards..cash..

13. Jeans or sweats?
- er...it's malaysia..haha..jeans

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry
thats uncomfortable?
- uncomfortable? no..

15. Do you text message a lot?
- yea..^^

16. What would you do if you got pregnant?
- choi..not now..

17. Whats your favorite color?
- pink, white, black, blue..

18. Heels or flats?
- heels

19. Did you ever cry during a romantic
movie?
- definately, i'm such an emotion person..

20. Would you ever leave the house
without make-up on?
- depends on my day..

21. Walmart or Target?
- what???

22. Do you wear collared shirts?
- once in a while..

23. Do you like preppy boys?
- preppy??

24. Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
- sometimes..lip sticks are cute too..

25. Do you own any big sunglasses?
- haha..yes...

26. How long does it take you to get
ready in the morning?
- er...the minimum..30 minutes??

27. Do you like to wear band-aids?
- it depends

28. Do you like skater boys?
- their cool..i mean..cz they can skate..and i can't..haha

29. Do you often wish there was
something you could change?
- yea..so many things..

30. Gold or silver?
- silver..

31. Do you like to receive flowers?
- yea..but i only receive it once..

32. Do you like surfer boys?
- yea..cool..cz i wan to learn how to surf too..

33. Do you dress up for the holidays?
- haha...yea...

34. Do you like to wear dresses?
- sometimes...yes...

35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys
confuse you?
- what kind of guys? i already have mine..er..5?

36. In the last 48 hours have you hung
out with a guy?
- yea..my ming ming...

37. Would you date a guy shorter than you?
- my ming ming is taller than me..^^

38. Do you like to hold hands?
- yea..with my ming ming..

39. What is the youngest you would date?
- ..... i've said i have my ming..

40. What is the oldest you would date?
- my ming is 19

41. What do you notice when you first
meet a guy?
- height.. hair.. face..

42. Is it hott when guys sweat?
- for my ming..yes..

43. What is the best feature in a guy?
- eyes..heart..

44. Do you like making eye contact?
- with my ming

46. Would you kill for chocolate?
- no

47. Did you ever spend all day/night
getting pretty for a guy?
- yes...my ming..haha..

48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is
shopping?
- 10 definately..

49. Do you freak out if you miss your
favorite show?
- depends..

50. Do you yell a lot?
- haha.. alot...

51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to
school/work?
- no...

52. Have you ever dressed unlike
yourself to impress a guy?
- yes..for my ming..haha

53. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
- i wirte sentense in paragraph..are they considered as love poems??

54. What makeup could you not live w/ out?
- eyelinear, lip stick' lip gloss

55. Do you fall in love easily?
- haha.. i am now..

56. Do you have cramps?
- yes...

57. Do you think you have the bestest
friend ever?
- ever??? er.....mayb?? i dunno??

to the people outside..

here is something to everyone out there!

i have a boyfriend..and he is jonathan lee ming yew... and for the last time..i only have ONE boyfriend..
stop calling me or msg'ing me asking whether have i change my boyfriend.. stop asking me who is my next target.. stop asking me when i'm going to leave my boyfriend? do i look like someone who does that? after that, you turn around and back stab me? you tell my friends or other people that i'm a playgirl, a slut, a pretender, a cheater and all those shit you guys can say..

i'm not admitting that i'm perfect. but are you? i'm not saying that i'm right..but what gave you the right to screw up our life? screw up your own life if you want to!

saying i'm a pretender? if you have the guts, why dun u come and tell it to me face to face rather than pretender that u all have nothing against me? just be'cz i came to kl. you guys say i forgot about u. Did u guys even bother to call me when i was back there? I am being ignored ok??

and those who do not know me.. you track my blog and my friendster and all my other accounts..and you dare tell my boyfriend what kind of girl i am? so u admit u judge people through the looks? wow.. and u say i was bad when u are worst..

to the girls..
well, you can say all you want. go on. try to convince my boyfriend not to love me. why? you want him is it? try and get him then! you can say all this is just sweet talk to my bf and whatever shit cock u say to him and about him..but it's not gonna change my love for him!

i'm lost

i'm lost here..
i love him, but the public doesn't love me..
my pillows are wet and my face is crumpled..
where i he and she when and i need them..
my boyfriend..and sister..i'm just so lost without them..

i love ming ming..and that's no end..
you may say what u wan..but i love him..and he's mine..
sorry for being selfish..but i'm not sharing..he's mine nomatter what...

girl-friends

hey hey you you i could be your girlfriend.
no way no way, you know it's not a secret...

-avril-

well, yea...avril's girlfriend...
when i'm mention girls here..i dun mean guys and girls like what avril is singing..
i'm talking about a girlfriend a girl should have..you know?
like..carol and florence..
carol and chern..
carol and suyin..
carol and aileen..
carol and her housemates..
carol and so many more..

what about me??
i know the only one..
ling and xian..
but she's in uk now...
so....
ling and.......err.....
ling and.......a.......
ling and.........aih...

ling and who???other than xian..who? xian is in uk..
i'm talking about in kl..
or even in ipoh..

it's sad that, there's no girl for u to talk about guys..
no girl for u to talk about ur boyfriends..
no girl for u to talk about fashion..
no girl for u to talk about clothes..
no girl for u to talk about heals..
no girl for u to talk about bra's..
no girl for u to talk about random stuff..
no girl for u to go shopping with..
no girl for u to drive around with..
no girl for u to have an all-girl outing..
no girl for u to go hyper and act lesbos..
no girl for u to go clubbin with..
no girl for u to sing out loud in the streets...
no girl for u to dance..
there's no girl for u...what more girls??

yea, even though my friends here are like all guys..
not even one can do what i mention up there..

yes, i know i have a boyfriend..
but even if you have a boyfriend..
u still need a girlfriend..
i feel so incomplete...

maggie again

so, today, i've been eating mee goreng. a.g.a.i.n.
what else is there to eat?
i reli dun have the appetite to eat anything to know that i'm staying here also..
omg
i reli dunno wht to do and what to eat anymore..

food seems like.......nothing to me..

it's not something i'm crazy for like it like last time..

i'm just depress..
food now is just something to stop me from having gastric..not hungry..but gastric...

pictures we took in 1u

that's me with patrick.

honey and i

such cam-whores we are..haha

another survey..see how bored i am

1. Name one person who always makes
you laugh.
- ming ming

2. What were you doing at 5:00 this
morning?
- dreaming away..

3. What were you doing 30 minutes
ago?
- er...watching tv and online

4. Who was the last person who broke
your heart?
- ming...T_T

5. What is the last thing you said
aloud?
- er....i din say anything today...
it was last night 'love ya'

6. How many different things did you
drink today?
- there's only water here....

7. What color is your toothbrush?
- hot pink and white

8. What was the last thing you bought?
- i bought? as in i paid? sweets..

9. Where do you live?
- some island name pulau meranti..

10.What color is your gate?
- home gate? black...

11. Where is your brother?
- ipoh... studying for his SPM

12. How was your day yesterday?
- tiring...haha...

13. What is the last ice cream flavor
you had?
- vanilla..^^

14. Are you an optimistic one?
- optimistic? haha...

15. Do u think you are okay?
- er... i dunno??

17. Do you talk a lot?
- alot..haha..especially when i'm hyper..

18. Are you happy with the love of
your life?
- yes!!

19. Do you skip meals?
- yes..i always do it..

20. Do you consider yourself smart?
- in what way???

24. Name one enemy of yours:
- i dunno?

25. Name one close friend:
- bryan kong...^^

26. Who's the first person in your
phonebook?
- cheong Ai van [oppa]

27. What did the last text message you
received say?
- i love you darling. i'm thinkinf of you every moment. muakzx

28. Do you go to gym?
- i'm too lazy..that's why i'm fat..

29. Song playing at the moment:
- a secret that can't be told - jay chow

30. What time is it?
- i lost my watch..haha

my love

this is my love...his name is
jonathan lee ming yewming yew, has been part of my life,
even though it has been two and a half-months.
it seems like a very long time.

He is a music producer,
and.....[so many more that i am so proud of]

We are studying in the same university,
but he might be going to London to further his studies,
but,
no matter what happens.
I'll still be there.

there are times were we get into arguments,
frustrations,
and so many more.
but we are still together,
we have had arguments where one leave,
but still will come back,
where one cries,
but still would be cheered up.
where both end up into serious arguments.

There are times, things are said at the wrong time,
but all this does not stop the love from coming from the heart,
it's because i love him.
That's why all this is worth it.

You might say I'm dumb,
you might say he is stupid,
to still stick and tolerate with each other even tough we argue.
'everything happens for a reason', my honey always says,
and i believe that.
That's why problems are solved and solutions are made.
But sometimes, one may say they are lost or confuse,
but sometimes, it's just they did someone to guide them a little bit.
Think skin people would not admit they are wrong even if they are,
that's why they get into arguments.

honey and i,
we both have misunderstandings,
and a sweet heart,
that's why we are meant to be together.

Sometimes, we just need to tolerate and think about other's.
don't repeat the same mistakes.
Learn from them.

Although, people may have heard this phrase
' don't change me. If you love me, love me for who i am'
but sometimes, they want to change you to help you improve,
not because you are not good,
not because he/she thinks you can't.
but it's because,
he/she knows you can be better.

Honey, i love you,
and i hope you understood what i said..
*huggiez*

time passes by so fast

yesterday,
we were like young innocent kids,
running up the fields.
and lying down gazing at the sky.

we wake up in the morning,
with no worries.
we jump out of our sleeping clothes,
and throw on new ones.
running down the stairs,
giggling and laughing,
and breakfast was always there.

today,
we are running from town to town,
books and files,
papers and laptops we carry.
shoes and clothings we bother.

we wake up in the morning,
and we look ourself in the mirror,
we spend time there,
just making sure we look perfect,
out mind and running faster than lightning,
ideas just keep coming in and out,
as much as the worries we have.

sometimes,
we even forget who we are.
Remember who you are,
someone who is strong,
Work hard for what you want.

Tommorow,
we will be sitting in the living room,
thinkin what we have achieved so far.
time passes by so fast,
you don't even realize that,
god is calling for you..

i'm not dumb

i know what kind of people they are in this world..
i know what kind of shit people can be..
i know how bitchy a girl can be..
i know how a guy is going to approach me..
i know how to reject someone..
i know how to walk away from others..
i know how to run..
i know how to talk..
i know how to speak..
i know how to scream..
i know so many things...
you don't have to talk to me as if i don't know..
i'm not dumb.

sometimes, i often, what is happening?
why do you always seem to get in the mood like this?
there's just so many things going through my mind that i'm going to burst...

i'm sorry if i being the leader here is going through all this to make someone understand the situation..then i gotta apologize for being a sucker leader..
i know..i screwed up first sem..u think i want to screw it up again?? i'm trying my best here so that everyone would be happy and be co-operate...that past has been haunting me. everytime i look at my results, flashback of what the lecturer said all came back to me.
you think i didn't break down and cry?
you might just say it's small matter, forget about it..
then i gotta apologize....cz i still can't..!!!

outing on heals

yea..due to the presentation..
i wore heals and went for outing...
omg...it was raining and my feet were getting wet when i came back..omg...

so, we watched knocked out today...it jsut got me into very very very much of thinking and....er...i dunno...confuse...so, anyway...
had pizza for lunch..had kfc for dinner...haha

and then..erm...we just walked around...wanted to buy some bra...but then...i just din like them..so i din get them...

*finally i got a tweezer...

haha..so, i left 1u about 10.10...came back here and reached hostel about 11.30...
heavy rain here....

honey...
i love you very much..
ok?
muakzxxx
i reli appreciate u being there...

presentation

today, i had my creative studies presentation...

omg..i was so nervous...[u can ask bryan..]

my face was so read..

i was so scared i would trip over my heals or smth like that because i was just so scared and my legs felt weak...

but at the end...

it all ended up well..

i got 9 out of 10 for the presentation..

wohooo.....

at least it was worth all the work...

now i have other works to do..

wow....i've finish my comic

wow...i finally finish it...
haha...
it's 1.54am....am not pm..
haha...
i'm dead tired..
gonna sleep after this..

i'ver finish my comic...
i wass thinking while i was doing it..
will i ever see it again?
i mean after i hand-in..
will i see it?
*sigh*
all this hard work..
where does it go?
bloody hell....
i'm so dead tired..

i wanna sleep..
tommorow is the comic presentation already...

mel gibson..

well, today,
apparently.. Mel gibson came..haha..no wait..it's not apparently..
he did came...
to limkokwing..
but it's just that i was upstairs in the studio and he was suppose to go there but he did not go there...
honey was disappointed..

but honey..dun be disappointed...=]
i love u

these tears are falling...

why so??

i dunno why...

but i'm crying....

exrcise

i need exercise...

i ran down my tower...ten stories down the stairs...

and ten stories up the stairs...

then i took a bath..

tired...
but refreshing...

i'm getting fat...so exercise and slimming is a must...

i dun feel like talking

i don't feel like talking.
i rather typer here on the lappie..
i dunno why..
it's like when i type
my heart is set on the lappie..
and my finger
my fingers just continue to type and type..
but if u call me on the phone..
i jsut dun feel like talking..
and i dunwan to open my mouth..
i dun hv the strength to open my mouth and even whisper a word...

today is just not my day..
what is happening to me?
i just want to close my eyes or watch tv and stare at the tv...
haihz...

dead..

i am dead...

i just want to cry here...
why am i so emotion??

college is sucking my soul and spirit out..
i'm breaking down slowly..
i cried today in front of my photographer teacher..but forced a smile and he din see..
i passed that...
i was in com lab and i sent a mail to my family..
mom..dad...and matt...and i cried..in the com lab...

i am reli breaking down...
and i have no more energy to stand..things don't go well.
if i will have to go to another class...
and if that happens..
i dunno if i have the energy to stand or even get up in the morning...

what is happening to me???

so worried..

i just can't get these thought of my head,...can't i??
*sigh*...my honey is planning something...but i am just so worried that i'lll screw things up...then he'll be sad and think that all the hard work he has done is a waste...i dun want him to think of that...

now, i have to think that i'm not just going with him alone..
i'm going with ten more people...
it's just a group right??
well, i do hope that all my worries are worth it on sat when we are in sunway...

all this stress is killing me....

there is a comic presentation this fri...to make sure i finish it...i just might now be posting up so much...i need to finish my work..
i dun even know what plans is for this weekend...*sigh*....financial problem is the worst...

blur i am

so blur right now..

what to do??

i am so confused...

*sigh*

this is reli troubling me...

i'm going to subang to stay for a night next week....

why we going there for again??

don't reli remember...

* sigh*

ppl are asking me why are we going there...

can't we just have fun there then??

to think of it..

we just need to take pictures to prove that we were in subang..

why make such a big fuss over it???

i reli wonder....

i'm so lose now that i can't even think straight....

So, plans are being made for next week..

but i can't reli make any final comfirming decision...can i???

i have to guide like 16 ppl if everyone is going...

i know at least 13 people are going...

and then if william and ah hao and sean's girl is going..that makes 16...right???

then i have to do things and make sure they are happy...

why am i such a kind person??

i tend to wonder...

* sigh *

it's going to be just another ordinary day right??

why am i worrying that my hoeny will be disappointed???

so confuse i am...

i dun even know what i am thinking right now...

campus lab

i am in com lab now...

in campus la...where else??
haha..

and i'm actually using a mac desktop...

wahahaha...

i reli seriously can't wait for this dec...^^

a night lover..

wow..
sometimes, i reli dunno myself..
i love the night..
the crowd...
the party...

but the problem is..
i'm in kl..yea..everyone back in ipoh is asking..
'hey girl! partying hard?' or maybe ' so which club do u go in?'

haha...that is the saddest part..
my friends come all the way to kl to party..to club..
me?
i'm in kl..
but in freaking cyber..in a hostel where it's so isolated..
heart pain....

sometimes, i reli wonder what's the problem of loving the club?
i envy those who can drink..
i can't..
one shot i'll pass out..see how extreme?
no..i'm serious..
you can ask xian if you do not believe me...she was there...

well, i can take a glass of beer or wine..
i'll go red..not drunkk...just red...and everyone will start asking if i'm drunk..
=_____=....what a fuss they make..

So? my honey once say if i love dancing, i can dance in my hostel..=____=..
but that's not the point..
i love the loud music blasting..
haha..
i love the crowd..
i love to dance..to get closer to my honey in the crowd..
well, mayb nomatter how much i explain he might not understand..

i dunno why i'm even posting about this..
cz it was in my thought..
i was just thinking about it..
dun ask me why...

a day saves a day

wow...i've been in hostel the whole day...
i woke up 12 hours ago and i'm going to sleep soon..
need to get my beauty sleep..
haha...

i din reli go out,
honey turned out at my door-step at 4 in the afternoon.
i was kinda shock..cz he din msg me at all or anything..
spent some time with sayang..
tried doing my comic but there were too many distraction..
*sigh*...someone please help me...
T______T

presentation is due this friday o...
haihz..
die die die..
tomorrow design studies i'm not done yet too..
lucky i had today at hostel relaxing..
if not i would have broke down..

anywayz, spending a day in hostel also saved a day of money..
financial problem is such a problem..
haihz...

another survey - love

1. Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
- nope..under-age it seems...

2. Describe yourself in one word when
it comes to love?
- lovely..^^..cute..^^..perfect?? haha...damn perasan la..

3. Who would you pick, someone who
really loves you or the one you really
love?
- can i not pick? i already have one i love and he loves me too..^^

4. Have you ever loved someone BEFORE
but never had the courage to tell
him/her?
- definately..who hasn't?

5. Does it feel good to love?
- yea, of cz..you always have someone there..

6. God is giving u just 5 more minutes
to live, if you love someone what will
you say to that person?
- If you ever see someone, don't let me hold you. all i ask is to leave a tiny space for me..

7. What will you say to someone who
doesn't want to believe you love
him/her?
- i don't know what to say..cz i haven't been in that situation..

8. Which one hurts the most, he/she
left you or played with you?
- both....

9. Was there ever a time that you
tried to learn to love someone?
- yea...

10. What's your opinion about someone
who's jealous?
- why should they? i'm just an ordinary girl..
- or are u asking about guy being jealous?

11. What can you say about someone who
tries to resist love?
- i feel so sorry..cz there must be a reason stopping them..

12. What can you say about playboy and
playgirl?
- it's fine with me if they play around the plays...just don't go over the limit..

13. What can you say about those who
hurt you?
- go away

14. What can you say to the person who
loves you now?
- i love u..^^

15. How do you love?
- with my heart...

16. Are you fast on having a crush on
someone?
- it depends

17. Are you a jealous type?
- well, it depends too..but i trust my honey...

18. Important FRIENDS OR FAMILY?
- er.....

sleeping beauty

so, slept through the whole morning today..

i've never slept so long before..

my room is like a hotel..

i mean the room temperature..

it's cold..

but the blanket is cold in the beginning too..

but after being under the blanket, it gets warm...

i slept at around 1 and woke up near 1 this morning..

wanted to sleep more..

but, my phone just kept vibrating and vibrating..

so, i had to just pick up the call...

it was honey...

i'm sorry bryan for not picking up the phone and letting u wait..

i'm so sleepy..

never i fell asleep so long..

i wanna sleep...

my eyes hurt...
why?
i really don't know..
i can hardly open eyes....

i want to break down and cry..
i want to hug you and cry..
but i'm just so afraid..
that i would e yelled at and scolded at again...

please don't walk out on me again..
i just beg u not to..
my heart hurts so much...
like a sword slash throught it..
the pain, so sharp..
the tears just comes..
and i can't stop..

right now...
hours after that..
i try to forget..
but i can't...
i try to think of another reason to that..

and..

i'm sorry..
it was my fault..
i should not have be angry..
i'm really sorry..
i really love you