.it's been a long time.

it's been a while since i've argued with anyone.. or mayb even got mad this badly that i wish i could run into the rain and just run and run.. let the rain rush thru my face and body and wash away all my problems..

i fought with my mom..might be thinking 'not another time??'..but this is just different. i know the truth and i have to pretend that i don't know. she scolds me like i'm in some school [if you know what i mean] she accuse me and say she's not accusing me..=_____=..
she went berserk and kept yelling, accusing me four times, do u think i won't be mad? then she ask why i get mad..excuse me? it's not that i am not tolerating with her ok? it's just that everyone has limits and she has gone way beyond that...
geez..

kLoong mentioned that he has never come across anyone like me before..haihz..

what do you feel when the people you hope doesn't understand you? they start to ruin your life. I was here standing at the edge of the cliff, cornered with demons and monsters. I was attacked and i was pushed. I held on and now i am clinging on the edge on the mountain. thousand and millions trillions zillions miles above. Am i going to fall? Here i am holding on and trying to swing myself back up. But i have swing up myself, pull myself back up for so many times. I am here because i took the risk jumping across from mountain to mountain. And here i am facing demons and monsters once i jumped here and i have to fight against it. But, what happens, when someone you trust hoping to help you jumps on top the rocks and pushing you down and down. Making you weaker and weaker.
PLease help me. I don't know how long i can go on. There is another smaller path i could jump down and go into the cave. But do i? I'm still clinging on hoping for some guidance. I'm so confused. I don't know what i am doing is right anymore. Love can't cure everything. It's the heart. And my heart, consist everyone in this world..
Will it effect me? I'm confuse and weak for my future is blur...