So here i am, online at xian's place again..using her laptop..waiting for mine..haha..have to wait for chinese new year la. i just finished work at 6.30 and came here. i just can't wait for 1st when i get my salary and then i'll be leaving..they don't let me leave but I DON"T CARE!!!

how fucked up life can be? today is the 24th december..eve. but somehow, i feel like it's may. i'm home.stuck.withoutlife.
yea.it's 7.41 and it's dinner time. but to me. it's just like another ordinary day.
eve use to be the day i am looking forward to. it's the time me and her spent lots of time. going out. spending time at each others place [mostly her place]. sleepovers. and FUN.. over the years this friendship has grown and christmas was like a thing-to-do together.
we use to wrap up presents and give each other days before and then another present on the day.
we put up the christmas tree together. we count down and have fun.
but this year, it seems....................

.empty.

i got a job and i couldn't do things i like. and i hate it. and i'm going to quit. at first i was thinking to go to kl and work with carol. but i don't think she likes it. i don't blame her. it's not the first anyways. fuck if i get disappointed. i'm getting use to it soon anyway. at first i was quite happy if i can quit and get a job in kl. but then she was abit annoyed that i'm going to be there. well, so. what am i going to do in the whole month here?
nvm la. screw it la.
if i can't go kl. i must well suffer at work rather than home. so what the hell am i going to do?

i feel so bad, i don't know what to do to make myself better. maybe she might not notice me not there. maybe she has found someone to be happy with for christmas. somehow, i feel sorry and bad. i just wanna break down and hug my pillow tight.
every night, i hug my pillow tight hoping time would pass by faster. hoping for the day i get my life.

.ineedlife.

merry x'mas and a happy new year..

here am i seated in front of my desktop. scrolling through youtube and listening to songs. wishing i could play them. wishing i could get my own life. but here i am being half emo and all alone and this pain here. damn.

x'mas is like only a days away. why does it seems like may to me? it's x'mas eve now. but it seems like it's in the middle of may. as i sit here and think, tears start to flow. and the pain is something noone can take away. I was lost and alone. where am i now? i stand in the middle of the crowded street and i'm tired. seeing everyone doing things they like, and here i am. just not sure where to go. I see things i like and love but i don't see it anywhere near me at all. with people like them. who can live?

i'm sick and tired of all this games. christmas is suppose to be happy and cheerful. isn't it? i had my last christmas in New Zealand. this year. i'm having it....................i'm working full day. well, that's life right? damn fucked up...[sorry for being rude]

i just wish i could lie down and sleep and just leave....i'm tired...

wow..i just realized that i haven't been blogging recently.
i mean, well, there's no 24 hour unlimited internet at home..
and on the other hand, i'm busy working from ten to ten.
i need my sleep too..haha..
that's why i seldom online.

i'm just currently waiting for january to come. Not exactly 1st of january, but somewhere in january because that's when my supervisor is going to give birth. wohoo!!..then i'll be waiting for chinese new year...yea baby..^^...i get my new laptop..
wahahahahaha...can't wait for it...^^the image on the top is the new one. and the bottom is the old wan...
i can't wait for chinese new year..

another week has passed. every morning i wake up feeling the pain in my leg..ouch..but what can i do? twist twist, jump few times and off i go to work. wow..everyday i stand there, taking off clothes hangers for customers, then when they don't want, hanging them back. then if they need new stock, have to be in the stoe room climbing up and down looking for it.
well, i'm not saying working is not good, it's just that, it's an experience. right?^^

i go to work early in the morning, i go home when is dark. i don't know if it's raining. i don't know if it's sunny, all i know it's dusty and there's just so many people coming in and out. I see different people with all kinds of attitude. i see little kids who are being ignored when their mom are buying clothes. I see teenagers girls being humiliated buying clothes. I see so many things which are hard to say.but right now i'm just waiting for this thursday, cz i'm santarina with agnes and ah hou. then i'll be waiting for christmas, then new year. then CHINESE NEW YEAR aunt coming from us with my new baby [lappie]. and then i'll be stopping work. then off to kl soon.
then i'll be in degree d. who knows what will be happening. who knows what friendship relationship of classmates i have?
well, all i know, i just can't wait for the holz to pass...

i'm at xianz place now,
she came back..^^
i was so shocked she called me that day..haha...
so tomorrow is my off day, i decided to stay at her place and we will be going out tomorrow. at least some fun with her to replace all the days and times i will not be here..cz i'm working.T___T..sorry gal...hehez...=]

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me.. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7 -eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my
boss and told him I was 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down.. I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

i dun see a problem watching movie alone..
i went to watch enchanted alone yesterday...
nice movie..
haha..
all being the princess and so...lovely..^^

-i'm still living in my fantasy-

what happens when metal falls on human body a.k.a flesh/meat?
and..
what happens on the other hand if human body a.k.a flesh/meat falls on metal??

u can try falling down the escalator..
i did..
i fell down the escalator today on the way to work. cz i was rushing...imagine..
OUCH...

imagine a human body whole weight just fall..right on metal..
ouch.my leg is all swollen and red..
even when i stand..i feel the swell..haihz...
such a clumsy person i am...=[

what to do???right now, the wound is SOOOOooo much different than others..normally cuts are small and light and it's red...and pink...
now it's likie..black and maroon and blood red...
ouchies...imagine how deep the cut is...

UGH....

-i'm in pain-

today, i went to jj. i had my day off. Mom dopped me off at jj at 2.[she was late as usual]. so alexis had to wait a while. sorry gal. i did not expect to see her brother there [dun remember his name]. haha..cute lil one there..ate mcD and just walked around and played in the arcade too. after they left. i went to watch enchanted. don't ask with who. i went alone. it was fun. i watched it without interuption. i can leave whenever i want. then when i was finished. i walked, see clothes. bought bra..they were kinda attractive too.
i was doing stuff i don't have to care what other people think. maybe i'm just an akward girl who doesn't care bout anything? I feel so uncomfortable going out with 'friends'. meaning people who i ask to go out with a crowd. they tend to to be together and walk together and ignore you. and honestly, i feel like a dog. and then nomatter i sit, stand, walk, talk, laugh or whatever. they will crowd up together and start whispering..i am like 'would you guys just stop and fuck off?' it's really pissing me off and making me mad. it's not just making me emo ok? you wanna blab..go ahead! then you shouldn't have asked me to follow along..i rather go out alone and say hi to you when i bum into you and go along my way. then i dun have to see you guys that long..

-i am alone. you got a problem with that?-

omg..i seriously can'tw ait for the second week to pass by...and then another more week..and then chinese new year...wakakaka...then i get my macbookpro...
buahahahahah...
i'm so looking forward to it...^^

i'm bored..
been working everyday..
standing the whole day..
my nerves and joints of my feet are seriously gonna break into pieces..

and..
i'm getting...FAT....
omg..
i seriously just can't believe that i'm f.a.t...
getting obese....T_T

carol's birthday suprise was a sucess!!!wohooo^^..
i just love it when she screams..haha..
especially when she saw unexpected friends..
hehez..

but too bad many people can't come too. because it's kinda hard as most of them are overseas..
but carol....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY....^^

hope you have a lovely birthday..

i love you.

i'm off today..!!...wohoo..
no work..
*haihz..
bit bored..
wanna go out drive...
jon's back from sabah..when aunty pat just left..
wow..such a good timing..
well, tomorrow's big day..wohoo..
be prepared..^^

i'm sick...
oh god..
and i think i either twisted my friggin leg or just somehow..
it hurts..
as bad as a twisted ankle..
T____T
i gotta eat and go work.
sorry for not posting..

yay..^^
carol's back..
yipee...
wohooo..
haha..
i'm so happythat she's back..
love love love..^^

hehez..
damn it..
i started work ytd..
and only realized how much i can do..
and i nvr thought i could stand from 12 in the noon till 10 at night..
omg...
and today..
i have to do it from 10 in the morning till 10 at night..
i started tog et tired at 3..
but...
no help..
this is like in primary when the teacher punish u to stand..
wow...

i got fifteen minutes left and i need to go to work d.
i'm so sorry that now i can't spend time online already...
but do drop my msg's and comments here or on friendster..

lurve~

THE CLASSIC AFFAIRS!!...The most amazing set of jokes!!!...

THE 6 MOST CLASSIC AFFAIRS!!

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked
about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home "I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"



The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said, " pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir , that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said
weakly: "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to, " his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know," she replied, " now just rest and let the poison work."

..XX..another joke i got from my dad..xx..


My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a
year and decided to get married. My girlfriend was a dream,
but there was one thing that was bothering me. Her
gorgeous sister was 20 and wore tight miniskirts and low-cut
blouses. She would regularly bend down near me,g iving
me a spectacular view of her cleavage.

One day her little sister called me to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She
said that she had feelings and desires for me that she could
not overcome. She said she wanted to make love to me
just once before I got married and committed for life.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She
said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom and if you want
me, just come and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen
in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she
got to the top, she removed her panties and threw them down
the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and
went straight to the front door. I opened the door,
stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With
tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy
that you passed our little test. We could not ask for a
Better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family."

The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms
In your car.

Take a breather.....Relax and read this....


THIS ONE BELOW WILL MAKE YOU SMILE AND BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY!!



EXCELLENT POEMS BY NOT SO FAMOUS POETS... FOUND ON TOILET DOORS AND WALLS..........
A BUDDING POET TRYING HIS BEST...

HERE I LIE IN STINKY VAPOR,
BECAUSE SOME BASTARD STOLE THE TOILET PAPER,
SHALL I LIE, OR SHALL I LINGER,
OR SHALL I BE FORCED TO USE MY FINGER.

BEFORE HE GRADUATED TO BE A POET, HE WROTE THIS...

HERE I SIT
BROKEN HEARTED
TRIED TO SHIT
BUT ONLY FARTED

SOMEONE WHO HAD A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE WROTE,

YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE
I TRIED TO FART,
AND SHIT IN MY PANTS!

PERHAPS IT'S TRUE THAT PEOPLE FIND INSPIRATION IN TOILETS.

I CAME HERE
TO SHIT AND STINK,
BUT ALL I DO
IS SIT AND THINK.

THERE ARE ALSO PEOPLE WHO COME IN FOR A DIFFERENT PURPOSE...

SOME COME HERE TO SIT AND THINK,
SOME COME HERE TO SHIT AND STINK,
BUT I COME
HERE TO SCRATCH MY BALLS,
AND READ THE BULLSHIT ON THE WALL...

TOILETS WALLS ALSO DOUBLE AS JOB ADVERTISEMENT SPACE.......

(WRITTEN HIGH UPON THE WALL)
IF YOU CAN PISS ABOVE THIS LINE,
THE SINGAPORE FIRE DEPARTMENT WANTS YOU.

MINISTRY OF ENVIRONMENT ADVERTISEMENT.

WE AIM TO PLEASE!
YOU AIM TOO! PLEASE

ON THE INSIDE OF A TOILET DOOR:

PATRONS ARE REQUESTED TO REMAIN SEATED THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE
PERFORMANCE.

AND FINALLY, THIS SHOULD TEACH SOME A LESSON...
SIGN SEEN AT A RESTAURANT:

THE HANDS THAT CLEAN THESE TOILETS ALSO MAKE YOUR FOOD...
PLEASE AIM PROPERLY.

I PASSED!!!WOHOOO!!!....

i passed my driving test beautifully...no worries...lalalala..^^..
i can drive now...hahaha...
next..beg dad to get me a car..haha..it's fat hopes..but still..haha..

omg..i still can't believe it. i have done it. yes...

i was so friggin nervous this morning. went there at 8.30am. lined up and so, by the time i got my number was 9. after briefing and waiting. 11. only my turn for the bukit and parking. so nervous. haha...new car man...not use to the gear..T_T..
then, when i was done, relief..but needed to wait for the other test...omg..i waited from 11.10 till 3.40 only my turn..=__________=..have to wait so long. cz they jump the numbers..so not fair..*haiz.. dad bought mcD and came around 2. was so frigging hungry..haihz..

finally....I PASSED!!!!...wohoo...lalalalalala..^^

x.Here's a joke[i got it from the internet].x

Last night, my friends and i went to a Ladies Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us. So she pulled out a 10$ bill. When a male dancer came over to us. She licked the 10$ bill note and stuck it at his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone. Another friends pulls out a 20$ bill, calls the guy back. She licked the 20$ bill note and stuck it at his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress us. my third friend pulls out a 50$ and calls the guy over, and licks the 50$ bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
My relief was short-lived.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the 50$. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
WHAT COULD I DO?
so,i took my wallet.
I took my ATM card,
swiped it down the crack of hiss butt,
took the 80$,
and left....

I don't give a fuck about whatever you want to say about me. Because that id your mouth. but what really pisses me off when it effects people i care. well, if that is you intention to make me care or worry or get mad. well, then you should have a party because CONGRAtULAtiONS! you did it.

Don't think i don't know what you have been saying to jonathan. Telling him to leave me again and again. saying we were not meant together. what the hell is your point? I don't care if you say i'm lazy or stupid or just a bitch who is lack of attention. if you want to go around judging people. Go aHEAD!!! nobody is stopping you. But here i am making a point. that is -- I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND SAID.

Talking to you won't make any point because you're just a grumpy old person who thinks you're the best. you grump over every single thing. You are being so picky. Well, that's who you are.
And i am not that person. I can be whatever everyone is saying. The girl who smiles? the girl who is happy? the girl who is fun?
or maybe the negatively, i'm a girl who only wants attention? lazy girl? or all those the public has been saying. I don't care.
But at least there is one thing i am proud of myself and i can say it loud. I care for my friends! i don't ask my friends to break up even though if they are facing problems. and, even if i only know one side, i won't ask them to break up! cz it's unfair. I don't go saying it's for their own good. They are the ones dating. NOT YOU!!
the decision is up to them. Not you. so mind your own business. If you want to ruin a life, get your own to ruin it.

At least, i care, for my friends. Unlike those people out there who just doesn't care about feelings. And they never know what F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P is. So, they will never know how to protect friends and back-up for friends. wherease, they just backstab them and don't care anything but he/she themselve. such selfish person in this world.

Some bitches can be just so humiliating. That's the most humiliating thing. They think they are everything and it's all right.
Then they go berserk for no fucking reason. I hate it so much. That they start screaming and for no reason or so, then they just start poiting at you and screaming in the streets like it's their own room. wth??

They ruined other people's life like it's nothing. *haihz*. what kind of people are these? and it's like the can forget about it in a second.
Sometimes it just pisses my off. i'm not a robot, i'm not someone who can change my emotions just in a blink. And what was it that she said? i am not a good planner? ask her to F*** off la.

And people out there! stop gossiping about things you should not. and back-off.. and those who did it last time. at least tell the truth and face the fact that you have offended people and try to feel about them!

survery's make people emo.
Especially this i was doing. everyone answered so excitingly.
it was like
who was the last girl you hugged?
in my mind is like..........................................................................................
i don't know and i seriously don't know.
if you say guy, yea la. i remember. old lady? my grandmother la. but girl???FUCK!!!!

it's like i'm a soul in a wrong body. =___=. wtf??

screw it la. i'm so freaking boring..*haihz...what to do when life sucks..

so, here i am again. Learning the song tattoo and preparing for the big day..^^..
so excited..haha
anywayz, i just came back from jj with my godmother [who is my piano teacher].hehez. she's coming for the big day too..wow. i do hope there's an audience. i miss the audience..^^

parents are asleep now. haihz. and getting trouble with some 'video production' here. i'm bored.

carol..i miss you

Bird bird birrrrrrrrrrrrrrd..^^..

this song is for you..=]
i hope you like it.

No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you, I'll always have you

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

=]

Ok, so i finally fixed my blog. [ i think]. somehow i kinda like this. but something is just missing. hmm.. i wonder what's that. anyway, plans are building up. i need a drummer who has a drumset and i need mic stands. and then i need people and audience. hope things will work out. god. why am i in-charge of everything?

anyway, dad sez end of next year only i can get my electric-guitar. because this year i got my camera and my macbook pro. imagined if i asked for a car..T____T.. *haihz*.. missed sitting somehwere with wireless link and can just go online. Dad's been bugging me, sez he wants to check his mail, but it takes forever cz he checks every single friggin mail..=____=''.anyway, bored here. playing guitar and bloggin. Trying get my chords right ain't easy. =/. where's help when i need them.

stomach ain't well..T____T.

So here i am in starbucks sitting with my laptop [the old one] sadly, and i am having a drink and obviously i'm online here. wohoo. unlimeted online. as long as i'm drinking smth. too bad i'm not some coffee lover..if not it'll be great.

well, i went to do my hair today. sorry that i can't post any image..haha..i din take any..komenasai.

don't know why been quite emo recently, guess everyone's busy and no friends are free..=/

i need a drummer. anyone? please contact me.=]

i'm really very sorry that i screwed it up. ^^..
but i promise i'll fix it soon. =]

hehez..
please don't get mad and i hope that you guys would like it.

last night, i went to samTet for the concert, but i left home at 5 and met with jenfie didi there. the poor kid needed to be on duty so i just accompany him la. Kinda pity to see that they weren't many people there though. haha. anyway the ticket was cute, so jF didi gave his ticket to me. haha. i kept it..^^.. bored le me.
now i'm at meru valley with my mom in pn lai sak's house. waiting for my dad who is playing golf. but lucky her house has wireless, so i'm like having excelltn signal..haha..^^..cool..=]..

later going swimming. and i bet she's gonna start nagging that i'm wearing a two-piece..=.=

.sitting here just doing nothing.

i sit here and play my guitar
singing out my heart
All i ever hoped
was to be able to be with you

i stand at the streets waiting for you
but you never came
and you never call
what has happen i asked you
but you just kept quite all the time

days to nights i always wonder
will you ever leave me
why you hurting me so bad
why'd i love you so much

why couldn't you see
the love that i have for you
why couldn't you see
the care i gave you
why couldn't you see
me there by you
standing there waiting for you

.i'm bored.

I just can't stand it when some people just has to nag about things. I mean they have to have a say about everything. and when i mean everything. i really literally mean EVERYTHING. It's like they can't shut up a while or smth like. they have to say SOMETHING about it. geez.

Today, i went to my driving school to book my test. Getting my driving test done on 22nd. [Thrusday]..T_____T..so friggin nervous. Somhow what-rather i know i can do it. But still...!!!!..who doesn't get nervous on a test? right?...oh god...someone help me...=.=''.. and the worst thing is annoying pollution noises are killling me and telling me i'll fail. What kind of people say they support you but they somehow keep telling you that you'll fail? it's like cursing you or smth like that.

The other thing which really ticks me off is that...SHE TOOK MY FRIGGIN LAPTOP CHARGER AWAY!!!!don't know why the hell would she even want to do that. she keeps on going..''PACK YOUR ROOM!!CLEAN YOUR RO!!''but the thing is..I"VE PACKED!! and it's like..every day i'm cleaning my room. sometimes i really wonder how only she would shut up. mostly like an empty room only she'll be satisfied la. STUPID....
i have my paint-brushes on my table. she ask me why am i not keeping it? it's like..geez..i'm doing a painting now..don't tell me i have to go to the friggin drawing to get out a tube of paint when i need it? stupid..never see my paint before don't ask me to do that. I paint my way and how i want it. It's messy but i love it. bcz it friggin makes me comfortable..
and when she found out. she's like..'Don't bullshit. how can it make y ou comfortable yo're just lazy'
yea..she's so god damn right that i'm lazy..that's why i'm so friggin lazy to layan her...=____=

Right now i'm just waiting for time to pass. going out to a concert tonight with jenfie didi, and then, tomorrow i'm going to another concert with my dad. so, waiting for time to pass only...

oh god..my mom was like right behind me. it's just so annoying..and she keeps on asking to see my blog..damn it la..hate it so much..=.=

*haihz*
now i've forgotten what i'm gonna write here or whatever..

anywayz, i got a new skin, and i hope you guys would like it..^^..please comment..=]

爱一个人,是多么的辛苦.

我发觉当我们真的找到真爱时,会有远离和距离的问题出现. 这是为什么呢? 难道爱是不能拥有吗? 我到现在还不知道什么是爱. 以前拥有的有失去了. 那现在我又有什么?

爱是什么?
被爱又是如何?
真爱,真的是找到吗?

Sick and tired

*haihz*..really. the only thing in my head is...when is sem3 coming. When is sem 3 coming. when is sem3 coming. I can't start dreaming far away cz it's too far and sem3 is the only reality thing which is really happening. haihz. bored bored and bored.

I hate my life. Thanks to some people who thinks they know-it-all it's ruined. aren't they happy..haha..

Noone to talk to, nowhere to go. Feel like shit. after what happen yesterday, i hate them more. Brings memories which i hate them even more.
Does anybody even care whether i am sick? how i am feeling? This stupid fucking stomach ache of mine has been with me for four fucking days. and they are like 'oh..i see'.. who givess a sht anyway? bad enough they don't care they don't let anyone care. even if there is someone who wants to care, they are like so friggin far away.

they should be happy i'm stuck with nowhere and noone.

i'm just so waiting for sem3..

Learning and i'm still

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hangnin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything
that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
All of our memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you care
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

-avril-
things i'll never say

I really laughed non-stop

This is a very stupid video and i was laughing non-stop




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHa

This is Funny

Take a breather.....Relax and read this....


THIS ONE BELOW WILL MAKE YOU SMILE AND BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY!!



EXCELLENT POEMS BY NOT SO FAMOUS POETS... FOUND ON TOILET DOORS AND WALLS..........
A BUDDING POET TRYING HIS BEST...

HERE I LIE IN STINKY VAPOR,
BECAUSE SOME BASTARD STOLE THE TOILET PAPER,
SHALL I LIE, OR SHALL I LINGER,
OR SHALL I BE FORCED TO USE MY FINGER.

BEFORE HE GRADUATED TO BE A POET, HE WROTE THIS...

HERE I SIT
BROKEN HEARTED
TRIED TO SHIT
BUT ONLY FARTED

SOMEONE WHO HAD A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE WROTE,

YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE
I TRIED TO FART,
AND SHIT IN MY PANTS!

PERHAPS IT'S TRUE THAT PEOPLE FIND INSPIRATION IN TOILETS.

I CAME HERE
TO SHIT AND STINK,
BUT ALL I DO
IS SIT AND THINK.

THERE ARE ALSO PEOPLE WHO COME IN FOR A DIFFERENT PURPOSE...

SOME COME HERE TO SIT AND THINK,
SOME COME HERE TO SHIT AND STINK,
BUT I COME
HERE TO SCRATCH MY BALLS,
AND READ THE BULLSHIT ON THE WALL...

TOILETS WALLS ALSO DOUBLE AS JOB ADVERTISEMENT SPACE.......

(WRITTEN HIGH UPON THE WALL)
IF YOU CAN PISS ABOVE THIS LINE,
THE SINGAPORE FIRE DEPARTMENT WANTS YOU.

MINISTRY OF ENVIRONMENT ADVERTISEMENT.

WE AIM TO PLEASE!
YOU AIM TOO! PLEASE

ON THE INSIDE OF A TOILET DOOR:

PATRONS ARE REQUESTED TO REMAIN SEATED THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE
PERFORMANCE.

AND FINALLY, THIS SHOULD TEACH SOME A LESSON...
SIGN SEEN AT A RESTAURANT:

THE HANDS THAT CLEAN THESE TOILETS ALSO MAKE YOUR FOOD...
PLEASE AIM PROPERLY.

whatever

kinda think about it, three months holiday, oh shit man, what the heck am i going to do? it's just bored to sit around and do nothing. I'll just must well read some books again. Don't know why the heck i'm so bloody emo. [apologizes]

Went back to school today and the teacher were just so shock..=_________________=..gave the LUCT big book to them and they were like..OMG..and needed me to sign the book and then went to the ass. head and told her and i had to start talking to her. and all my juniors were like screaming when they saw me. wow..the days of high school. So way much different than right now..

Jin Moon picked me up from hosue today, went skul lunch and bla bla bla. [lazy to write]. nothing much special..

but i was lying on the bed drained and emotionless yesterday, thinking about life and love.

What's this thing call love? Do you know? Do i know? Do you think i know? When you're with someone, you'll say that's love. Love is blind and all that. But as sean say, the one you will be for life as your partner isn't your love. When you miss someone, you want to be with that someone because you are happy with him or her, is that love? like? or just a feeling for a good friend? This is the first time i dare say i'm single and i am not afraid to accept the fact that i'm single. because i have a bunch of friends who care for me. and for me. THat's LOVE.. so, guys out there? don't come telling me you love me and all that shit when you only search for me when there's someone, True love is not easy to be found..

[don't know what the heck i'm posting here]

Another Survey for me..=_=

1. How old will you be in five years?
* 23

2. Who did you spend at least two hours
with today?
* No one..T_T

3 . How much do you weigh?
* 47.=/

4 . What do you look forward to most in
the next 2 months?
* Carol coming back and my new laptop..^^

5 . What's the last movie you watched?
with who?
* Ghost Rider..alone..=[

6 . Who was the last person you called?
* My dad..

7 . Who was the last person who talked
on the phone with you?
* talk? As in long chat or just a while?

A while : my dad

Long Chat : edmond

8. What was the last text message you
received?
* Do you have Azmir contact number? By jang

9. Who was the last person to leave you
a voicemail?
* nobody

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
* depends..^^

11. What were you doing at 12am last
night?
* playing my guitar..^^

12. What is your current mood?
* sienz…

13. When is the last time you saw your
mom?
* yesterday?

14 . What color are your eyes?
* dark brown

1 5. What time did you wake up today?
* 1 o’clock in the afternoon.=]

16. What are you wearing right now?
* shorts and t-shirt

17. Do you find love or wait for
it?
* Erm..can I skip this question?

1 8. Where is your favorite place to
be?
* Don’t know.

19. Where is your least favorite place?
* Anywhere I hear lectures and naggings

20 . Where would you go if you could go
anywhere now?
* London..^^

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10
years?
* In London? I think..


22 . Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie?
* None

23. What do you fear the most?
* being alone

24. Who was the last person to send you
a message?
* Jang..=]

25. How big is your house?
* Don’t know?

26 . Do you sleep with or without
clothes on?
* Duh~ clothes la..

27 . What color are your bedsheets?
* Red

28. How many pillows do you sleep with?
* 5..i don’t know why..no wonder I have no space

2 9. What was the last thing you eat?
* Maggie mee

30. Are u bored right now?
* YES!!

31. What do u wish to do?
* To have my own band and album..^^

3 2. College or university?
* university

34 . Quiz or midterm?
* none!

35. Gold or Silver?
* silver

36 . Does anything hurt on your body
right now?
* yes

37. Opposite-sex that attracts you the
most by looks or special qualities?
* Er..heart..^^

3 8. Listening to any songs now?
* Yes

39. How long ago did you kiss someone?
* Don’t remember

40. Do u have a bf/gf?
* Sadly, Nope..

41. Hugs or kisses???
* both! Haha!~

42. Do you smoke a lot?
* No..

43. Do you know your blood type?
* nope

44. Do you dance?
* Totally..^^

45. Do you take daily medications?
* Why?

46. Have you ever drank alcohol?
* yes

47. What song is your ringtone?
* Er..Misery by Good Charlotte

48. Do you hang on the phone for a long
* ????

4 9. Do you own a gun?
* i wish.. Haha~

50 . Do you get nervous?
* Ofcourse

51 . What is your secret weapon to
flirt the opposite sex?
* I don’t know? To get him to remember you???

5 2. Current worry?
* When will holz end?

53. Who is your most silent friend?
* Silent friend? Beckham..haha

54. Is the person you have a crush on
older or younger than you?
* oLDer..

55. What food are you craving for?
* Ice-cold fruits..^^

Not well

i'm not feeling very well. hmph..=/..been quite emo recently back here, well only those who really know me would understand why. My stomach ain't giving me a good feeling too..T____T. plan on to go back school in the morning tomorrow, needed some help but turns out my bro would not even help me at all and annoys me back. He put his stinky feet infront of me, then almost whack me with his book. and i yelled at him. and guess what, my dad scolded me. He ask me not to be so sensitive. In my heart, i'm like, if you think i'm so fucking sensitive why don't you be aware of how youa re speaking to people? Then he was like..Noo, you have to change your sensitive attitude and start yelling and scolding me. Ok..right now, what the fuck is wrong with me? I now i'm extremly sensitive and you as a PARENT, shouldn't you be doing smth about it? Like making sure i don't get offended or sensitive rather then telling me not to be sensitive? I'm so fucking emo right now, and i'm so fucking PISSED!!!

Don't fucking ask me to calm down because i'm not a fucking robot and i can't fucking calm down after you fuckingly annoyd me and offended me with your fucking words and fucking action. AND I DON"T GIVE A FUCK HOW MANY FUCK I AM SAYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I AM FUCKING ANGRY!!!i'm sick and tired of all this shit.

And guess what, i love my friends who are a bunch of guys and not girls because they are great, and yea, IF you wish me to be a guy then i'll be it! at least, i won't have to be nagged that i don't eat well or drink well or shit well or whatever fuck well. I won't have to be lectured to get raped or what or mayb i won't even be accused of being a prostitude. YEa..i'm FUCKING SENSITIVE about it and you don't know it. And who re you suppose to be again?? NOBODY!!! Everybody can say 'hey, don't get mad. you know it's them, without them, there's no you'. YEa, THANKS alot!!! because i wouldn't know how i would have been to without you. I'm lucky to have a place to stay. yea... but you know? i didn't know that one day, you would tell us to do the garden, and you can have the guts to say that we are like staying in a hotel. yea, this is your roof. whatever fucking thing you say is your way. you can say i'm cold-hearted or whatever shit. because i don't give a damn anymore. THe more i care, the more it hurts. BECAUSE I"M FUCKING SENSITIVE!!!

ppl say 'why don't you stand up for yourself?' yea.. it's no point. it'll only make things worst and i'll get more and more annoyed. i must well jsut shut the fuck up and release it not on you. You guys think you are the know-it-all. Go ahead, no one is stopping you. I never said anything about helping me and yet you would bug your head in and annoy me. I HATE IT ok? i hate the way you bug into my life and ruin it. IF you want to ruin one life. RUin your own. and don't go ruining other people's life! cz i've had it and i've enough.

I seriously can't wait for the day i can get my own way. GEeZ...

Komenasai

i'm really very sorry to all my friends that this skin of mine has no comment..T_T..i'm so sorry...i don't know how to put them in..but pls write your comment on the chat box..ok?^^

True Chinese

See if you're a chinese. Especially those ladies. haha..and mom and womans..so if you're a guy. check and see if your mom and older sister does this...^^

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons).

2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.

3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.

5. You hate to waste food:
a ) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa )
b ) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

6. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.

7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.

9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.

10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

11. You fight (verbally) over who pays the dinner bill.

12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.

13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if
you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.

14. You're a wok user.

15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.

16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they're fresh.

17. You never call your parents just to say hi.

18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they're heaty ("yeet hay" in Cantonese).

20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.

21. You always cook too much.

22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

23. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.

24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics, computers.

25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.

26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

27. You know why this list consists of only "28" reasons.

28. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese friends.

There are four more indications that you need to add 8:-

*29 You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel bag as souvenirs.

*30 You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid it all.

*31 You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them

*32 And you will always proud because you're Chinese. If you are laughing, you should be proud being one.

hurt

i'm hurt deep inside...my eyes hurt, my heart hurts, i can't stand straight. i can't figure what's wrong. i'm weak and i'm lost. T_T

Hope you would re-consider. don't go

I din sleep again. Ok. This time is my fault. I’m sorry, but I did not know that time passed by so fast.. Well, the night sean they all were all persuading kLoong not to go and I ended up sobbing and then kLoong sms’ed me after he ‘went to bed’. Everyone doesn’t want him to go. Even Kevin Tan they all.

Loong, I don’t know if you would be reading this. Mayb someone would pass the message to you. Mayb not. Maybe when you start to read my blog, this post would be far way back. But it’s ok. I have the heart. I’m just lacking the courage to ask you to stay like everyone else.

I stand next to you in the silent, I asked if you really have to go. You just shruggle your shoulder and did not say a word. All your friends begged you to stay. Is it that you need even Kevin tan they all only you would re-cosider? I know it’s selfish to ask you not to go. But deep down inside, everybody wants you to stay. We are really out of hope. We just prayand wish to see you popping up, smiling and pretending that you never mention you were going to leave, just like you always do.

To kind of think, if you really go back, I’ll have nobody to go back to ipoh with. I have nobody to bring me out. Hey! I’m gonna get my license, then how can I fetch u out if you’re gone? Always you fetch me. What about my turn? It’s so unfair. Even if someone comes, he will never replace you. Even if he’s easy to bully like you, I don’t think Edmond would pull his pants, and even if he could, I don’t think he would be so lost in English that he needs my help, and even if he does, I don’t think he will have the heart to fetch us here and there. To KLCC and to SuNGAI WANG.. and then there’s nobody to go back with during the weekends.

Even if there was someone like that, I don’t think they would be someone who would always smile like you, and even there was, I don’t think the person would like to watch tv and dramas as much as you do, don’t think the person would wanna go k-box..

And even if everything is like him. It’s impossible, it’s one quarter in a zillion. And If we’re so lucky to get it. I don’t think the person would be having the name Kevin Lo Weng Loong where everyone would start singing about you and all that.

Its not that we don’t let you go. We know, sooner or later, one by one will leave. Who knew youw ere going to be the first to leave? It’s just..So early..i Really do that you would re-considerate on staying and hope that you would really know that you are a great friend. A best friend everyone could have. An older brother to me, a younger brother to sean, chien how and Edmond. And shan, beckham. And like son to jang. So manyof us. We will really miss you if you really left and things won’t be the same anymore..

Gambateh to the future musician in china

This is a band called 20088..really, they are a band. consisting a drummer [female],two guitarist [male] and a bass [male too]..all four can sing..and guys what. they are only 7 years old..^^..they may not sound the best. but at the age like that, they are able to have the courage and the tempo to play and sing at the same time..good luck..

they are from china, and their aim is to be able to play in the olympics next year..well, we all here wish them their best..^^

[i love the drummer..^^..she's a girl and she can play that well..^^]

please take the test

I just created a friend test. please take the test. it won't take up alot of your time. thank you very much.>^^

Back at home

ok, home isn't really 100% the best place especially when there is someone who is nagging you like.......24 hours a day, every minute and second of the day...geez... NO matter WHAT i do, sleep, eat, walk, sit, watch she also has to nag..=____=..

i miss kl life so fast already, miss the days where we are all cramped in a place, where paint is everywhere, the times where u go in a room in the daylight and you find that everyone is asleep. Where 3 o'clock in the middle of the night, someone would wanna go mcD. Miss the times where we will be wide awake waiting for the person to wake up so we can go for dinner. Miss the times where we wake up in the morning and go campus in a rush. Miss the times where we have to brainstorm for ideas, making calls and ask what should be done. Miss the times where we would just sit and song randomly. Miss the times to hear sean just sing and go high on O2. Miss the times where i would jsut sit there and see kLoong being bullied by everyone. miss the times i would jsut stand at the door staring at edmond playing guitar and wishing i could play like him. Missing the days i would just fall asleep on the sofa. and there's jsut so many things i am missing right now and i jsut came back ytd..omg..how am i going to survive this holiday..=.=...

well, got a job but i'm being nagged by my mom bout it..=_=..so, yea, carol's coming back on the 29th nov morning [ if i'm not mistaken]..well, i guess for the time being, i'll be stuck here then..=/..miss kl...T_____T..dunno if they would miss me?...haha,...i'm really dreaming..ain't i?

在等你

爱一个人,是快乐还是悲伤?

我...该说的,我都已经说了..就在这儿等你给我一个答案...我的心,从来没有跳得那么快..到底是怎一回事?我不敢看着你的眼睛说话...因为,我会紧张,我会怕,我该怎样好?

我想告诉你,我会继续的等. 等到你给我个答案..因为,我是真心的..

Friends or lovers??

友谊：是他搂你的腰...会觉得太肉麻。爱情：则是愈紧愈好...最好永远不要分开。　　
友谊：说话时声音如雷...不拘小节。爱情：则是轻声细语...动作温柔...惟恐吓到对方。　　
友谊：同床异梦。爱情：爱里相思。　　
友谊：三秋不见如隔一日。爱情：一日不见如隔三秋。:
友谊：上公车时...和你一起挤。爱情：是护着你先上车。　　
友谊：一件事和你辩论到底。爱情：任何事都是你对。　　
友谊：盼望能同年同月同日生。爱情：则但愿同年同月同日死。　　
友谊：吃饭时...菜单各看一本。爱情：则是共同看一本菜单。　　
友谊：分手时说再见。爱情：则是说“明天见”!!!!!!!!!!!!　　
友谊：接到你的信时...明天再回信。爱情：则是立刻、马上回信...一刻都不愿耽搁。　　
友谊：会大声说我有很多朋友。爱情：则会说只有一个你。　　
友谊：买一样东西时...会说“没眼光”。爱情：则会说“你好眼力，会挑好的东西”。　　
友谊：笑会遥远祝福你。爱情：则是含泪遥远思念你。　　
友谊：是将你的相片放在相簿中。爱情：是会将相片随身携带。　　
友谊：走路时保持距离。爱情：则是没有距离并且手拉手。　　

总而言之一句...是友谊“地位平等”... 而爱情则是“唯你独尊”

Final

Today, was our final presentation for the intergreated project. Me and Edmond played guitar and sang two songs. the national anthem and a culture song based on our concept.. and i guess the lecturer kinda liked it. But they din like the journal, haha..with all the construction noise and so on, they were not kinda distracted. it was VERY...haha...^^...

So, now what's left is my canvas painting. and i am not done with it. Too many distraction..haha..

*haihz.. here i am, with my friends here.. still depressing over the leaving of kLoong..T___T

happy birthday to a dear friend

today, 5th of november is my best friends birthday. it's her 17th birthday. ta-dah!!!Jeanette Thong Su-xian...xiannie..^^..yup..it's her birthday..altought i'm in kl, and she's in uk, cambridge. i still remember her..^^..

she's a cute little girl who friends and guys adore her=]..she looks like jap, so people always mistook her for jap and me as korean..but she's just amazing. She's a friend nobody could replace. We went thru happiness and sadness.

I knew her when i was 10. she was 9 then, i still remember, that my mom one day told my that we had new neighbours and wanted me to go see the 'little girl', ^^..that's her..she was just cute and adorable, she seldom wore a smile on her face, but i was always happy with her. i was always 'the-girl-next-door'. i tagged along with her and realize many things too.

Soon, she grew taller than me..^^.. i still remember the day she told me that she was going to uk and i was like..O_____o...i'm going to lose a friend..omg.. and then i silently cried inside..i thought our friendship was going to end.. when she left, i started realizin, how much i miss her. i was always waiting for the day for her to come back from uk. for her long holz and i would always try my best to spend time with her. Until when i finish spm, she came back and i was on holz, it was her turn to wait for me..i feel so bad..right now when i'm in uni, she's the only friend i mention and she was my girlfriend, a best friend who is far away. we don't talk to each other, but deep inside, we always have each other.
Today it's her birthday, and i wish her...happy birthday..^^...

xian,
i love you and miss you..even though we are far apart and we seldom talk. my heart always have u..love ya girl=]

byez

well, now i am in c-06-07.. and using Ee-liang's internet cz my has expired.. with sean here, edmond, chien how, shan, beckham, eric..and everyone is screaming at kLoong asking him not to go to taiwan..=[..gonna be a lost after he goes away..sean is praying for him NOT to be able TO GET IN...haha..so he doesn't have to go to taiwan..haha

interested

This is a rainbow i taken when me and kLoong were coming back form penang..
This is my house..=]
That's in penang beach..sean, chien how, and jang..
That's sean..=]
Penang view..

wet.wet.wet

ok..1st of november was Ee-liang's birthday.. and nobody knew till like fifteen minutes before his birthday was gonna end. No wait. it was more like half-an hour..So, anyway, that night. everyone was busy with finals and so on. Then, Sean was like, why not wait till saturday.. and Ee-liang himself was fast asleep already..hahha...So, today..is SATURDAY....^^

We had malaysian studies test today.. started at 10, we left at 10.15..haha..as usual..^^..so anyway, we were required to do 3 essays and so on. So, we all finished and had lunch at plaza [i ate chicken rice] so, after that we left to kl..cz edmond was gonna buy his guitar and sean needed to go to the maxis centre at klcc...So, we reached kl plaza around 2 and kLoong couldn't find a parking, so 'the-guitar-lovers' [me, chien how, edmond and beckham] went down..and i was like..OMG....O____o??? when can i have one..haha.. i saw a pink one..it was lovely..^^..So, edmond spend time there..and i bought some picks..[i'm a collecter]..haha..=[ but then, i started having gastric...after that, when we went back the car, kLoong, sean and Ee-liang was fast asleep..haha..^^...so then, we went to klcc..edmond and i went to eat cz i was having gastric, kLoong and chien how went dunno where..haha.. so then after we finish, they called and we met outside the cinema, was thinking of watching amovie but it was too crowded and kLoong could only think of going to sleep..haha..[as usual..^^]
So we left, everyone fell asleep in the car..as usual, in the beginning, everyone would be like high on O2..haha..they will sing and scream and imitate voices and so on.. and kLoong will be like the dad driving..haha..^^...then laster on, one by one will falll asleep..and you can hear sean snooring..^^..well, can't blame him..he's a baby having his good sleep..haha..=]

Then we came back to hostel and EVERYONE fell asleep soon.. i did for like few minutes.. Edmond thought me some guitar and i just can't wait to have one and then edmond can teach me more..^^..wanna learn canon rock...WOHOOO!!!..=]
So, then, we went for dinner at 11o'clock when kLoong woke up.. After that, when we came back, chien how gave me his wallet and keys and everything and told me that SOMEONE will be thrown into the pool...wakakakaka..=]..poor ee-liang..thrown into the pool..slippers came off and glasses came off too.. and then he couldn't find it.. kLoong saw it and then i went in and dived in to get it.. everyone seems shock that i can swim...haha..anyway, then kLoong went in the water to get the other slipper.. securities were there as soon as i came out and they started questioning, so we said his glasses fell and all that and we just left..haha..So i was all wet..=]...kinda fun though..haha...friends..^^..dun think we forgot your birthday, we're just waiting for the time..haha..=]

Friends=family

Friends are part of life, without them.. i don't think life goes anywhere. Being friends is not a matter of being with all girls or those things. Just because you're a girl, doesn't mean that you can't have guys as best friends. come on, this is the 21st century alright. haven't you heard? a girl's bestfriend is a guy.

I am proud to say, my friends, here in college/uni life comes from part of the world.. Different background, different style, but all together having fun...

Sean : penang [fun, enjoyable, get's high on anything..^^..fun and serious at the right time(drives)]
Edmond : sabah [everything is rock and guitar's.. gundam and wwf..^^..love to imitate other's voice and it very good at it..]
kLoong : ipoh [get's bully by everyone but never get's mad..connection to all..^^..going to taiwan and everyone doesn't want him too..(drives)]
Chien How : penang [long smooth hair, guitar player, good at art..^^..fun, jokeable and get's along..]
Shan : kelantan [quite at times but can get very noisy if he wants to...]
Ee-Liang : alor-setar [sleeps at akward times and the smallest guy..^^..]
kTan: sabah-brunei [anime and jap is him..^^..can't live without internet..=]
gerald: sabah [blur-est guy is this..sleep-walking and even does things he doesn't know..get's bully easy too..^^]
bryan: kajang [drives a matrix everyday, drawings nice and painting good. need help? can ask him..=]
edwin: penang [talk alot, that's him.. transportation problem..that's him..money problem..also him..need help..who else..^^??]
william: brunei [architect and buildings..always playing games..but for such a size, he's damn cute and adorable..^^]
zhen hao: kl [tall and thin..all girls after him..wanna change phone go find him^^]
Edmund: cheras [nick name beckham cz his hair, quite u see but he's not..^^..]
Jang: Korea [korean guy and that's him.. can be serious can be fun..hokkien, mandarin he knows it, neatest cleanest and that's him (drives) ]

So that is mostly all of us..and as the only girl here, i feel this friendship is getting stronger..
even though the next sem we might not be together..but i still see the friendship..and hope that kLoong doesn't go to taiwan like all of us wish him not to..

I don't give a shit what others are gonna say. They can say all they want that i'm a slut, a bitch or a player or whatever they want to.. cz all of us know the friendship here. we are like a big family..^^

Idiots

There are idiots in this world. I really wonder why i even had to meet them. Geez... it's like, they think they are so perfect and all. and Telling them would be a waste of time because they wouldn't understand a think and it'll just make u angry. So let them say all the shit they want. I don't need them to ruin my life. It's amazing how some people can just jump into conclusion saying that others are accusing them or thinking wrong or the so-call 'not appreciating' them thingy. this is the world. gotta grow up to know how things work. The world doesn't wait for u. Time doesn't...and it's just unbelievable that some people can just hurt one who loves him/her and then just say that he or she is not good and all the betraying words coming out. what word is it to express it again???

so, i don't give a shit on how things are going to work for those who won't learn. I've given my help and it was over the limit. I have my own life to work, but at least i don't go saying that career and all that is important, it's not that i'm saying it's not. But, they are really people who would really chose career over friendship and any relationship. i can say i've met quite a number this sem who only want's to be with someone over something. and without that thing, he and she won't even bother talking to each other. like i said, how can they have such cruel ass in this world.

some people are just so cold-hearted.

Sometimes you just can't believe it. don't you? Here i am seeing sean going thru everything, and he's releasing it all out. But here i am, just keeping it in my heart. i admire how sean work things..you go big bro!^^ we'll always support u..

some people are jsut so cold-hearted. They can say yes at the moment, leave u and say no the next minute. wow. it's just unbelieveable how people do things right? they are jsut so cold-hearted that they would only take what they want.

It hurts... why so? i tell myself. i'm fine.. But it hurts. I never want to see him, never want to even know he's next to me. cz i feel that people like that aren't deserve to be treated good. after all, even i did treat him good, he thinks i din. so what's the difference?only time will tell my ass..

i've made my mind up. i'm locking myself away from relationship. like sean said yesterday to me..

Thank you sean for making me realize so many things..and edmond too.. you guys are like my big bro..^^..thanks alot.=]

some pictures

here are some pictures..this is Jang and kLoong...can u tell who is who??^^
Now i think u can right??^^..kLoong is the one drawing and jang is the other one..this looks like two proffesional discussing on their work..haha...

and then i was at one side, i saw at kLoong's bag had a very cute shoe..^^..look..isn't it cute?hehez..if i could wear it..haha..i wonder who could??

because.....

yup..that's the size...so smal..^^...ain't it cute?..haha...

Another First Time

wow..Firstly, i gotta apologize for not blogging that often anymore it's because, i seldom go back my room... [it brings back unwanted memory]
So, i''ve been around.. Here and there... I was doing history of art that day, and i ended up sleeping over at kLoong's unit. b'cz i was using sean's laptop. It seems easier for me to get up anywhere but my own place. So, then, the next day also. And then i was around. I even fell- asleep at the living room two nights ago. This was b'cz i was waiting for sean to come back and i actually wanted to see edmond do his work. But i was too tired and i fell asleep.

Yesterday, we went to Sunway to sing-k at Red-Box.. first time for me. haha..anyway, after that when we went back was almost 12. and then we somemre watch this chinese movie which is the mask by chow sing chee.. and then after that, watched another comedy movie by him too. haha i almost fell asleep then. then after that kLoong wanted to sleep, so then at first sean thought of sending me back..[he always sayz it's not safe for a girl to walk back like that after 11] and that time was already 3.30.. Then sean pula say he's hungry..ok le then..so, we went to street mall to have a drink.. and we chatted alot..along with edmond too..

This brought me many thinking..

what is love? everybody is asking. well, sean and i are going throught the same thing. but i'm a girl and he's a guy..Right? sometimes being a girl is so trouble-some..=/
anyway, i made my mind to be who i am. Love is just a thing. When it's time, it'll come. At Least unlike some people who are damn perasan and think they know-it-all... i just hate him so much for all the things. and he has the guts to say i din put any effort..
anyway, my laptop is at kLoong's place..cz i'm doing research and everything. Just too lazy to bring everything back there.

i guess i gotta go start on my canvas colors d..^^.. hope it'll turn out well.=]

Gundam

ok.. i know i am not a gundam freak or anything. But then, i just fell in love with one..haha..it's call SD strike..it's the mini version i heard..^^..it's so cute....kawaiii....hehez... mayb i ask my brother to buy the modal for me..haha..then i can play..=]..i mean put as decoration also can la..haha..

anyway, i wanna show some images..but i can't..cz i'm not using my own laptop now..so the images are not here.. they are in my phone...They are just soooooo KAWAIIIIII.....

but of cz..ppl like kevTan, sean, edmond they all don't have to go and find out what's that cz they know what's it.. ok.. thanks to SEAN [paul] i fell in love with SD strike...haha..^^

working my *** off..

ok...so here i am.. Doing my history of art documentation..geez..only the biography of Leonardo he himself has already used up more than 20 pages..i just do hope that teacher won't deduct mine for being too long..haha..i mean the documentation.^^..

it's 4 smth plus in the morning..and there's a freaking mosquito here..omg..i can die..NOOOOO!!! i can't feeed it..i must kill it..KILLLL....buahahaha..ok..i hate them..i mean..who loves them? right? why are they even in this world? why can't god create smth much more human-loving if they are so important to the world..i mean..is sucking blood from the human-being THAT IMPORTANT???

if it is..then i am speechless...wanna take some rest..tomorrow another day..wish me luck on my life drawing finals..^^

listening to PeterPan-Mungkin Biar

对你有感觉

我曾深刻体会对爱感到胆怯
还好有懂我的你给我安慰
看你失落的脸又再为爱憔悴
我心痛的感觉竟如此的强烈
眼角的泪它给过谁
伤透了心也无所谓
我会愿意静静地陪在你身边
如果说爱已不可为
那我宁愿藏心里面
其实我害怕会失去你的感觉
怎么会开始对你有了感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
矛盾着犹豫不决
没准备跨越爱的界线
怎么会开始对你(你)有了感觉
深陷朋友恋人之间的危险
进与退被爱包围谁犯规都狼狈
谁能解围让一切完美
怎么会开始对你(你)有了感觉
深陷朋友恋人之间的危险
你和我拥抱瞬间不后悔这暧昧
星光唯美把爱放心里面
把爱放心里面
把爱放心里面
把爱放心里面

changed

ok..i've decided no t to do Herbie Fully Loaded because i realized that the car is hard to draw..buahaha..
So i decided to do...

Just My Luck..

Here is the image..
But of cz..i won't be drawing Chris Pine and Lindsay..I have to draw myself..So, for Chris Pine, i decided to chose kLoong..haha...b'cz among all my friends..the one who looks closest to Chris is kLoong..and he agreed, so ^^...i just wanna apologize to kLoong that if my drawing comes out not nice..komenasai..^^>..haha..i'm not a illustrator or a human figure drawer..haha...
I've started on my canvas d..drew the words and the buliding..the broken umbrella too..haha..i just can't draw human...T___________T

So, i just do hope things would work out well, i mean for this..
i'm going back kl at 4 in the afternoon later..Then will be doing my banel work..i think..anyway..good luck to all of my friends for the finals..^^

going back home

yea..i'm going home today..and i am coming back tomolo..this is because kLoong wants to go back to do smth..so i am also going back, mustwell, do some work there. peace, quite and space..haha..mayb at night i'll go get some acrylic paint i need..hope can print my pictures for the journal..at least do smth..
haha...
Just got back today..had life drawing test today..While i was in the lift. going down from the tenth floor, there was this Black guy in formal wearing and holding business and law book, he smiled and asked what's my name..then he asked if i was Japanese or Korean...^^..buahaha..at least he din ask if i was indonesian like Zali..haha...^^

So....yea. I got this new skin, and i'm still figuring how to put my image there.anyone have any idea???^^

New Skin

So, i got this new skin. Cz i got a little tired of the old one..
and since everything and all my profiles are being updated and changed due to some reason..i felt as though i needed to change my blog too..
wow..yea..
I dont know how..cz i did everything in one hour..internet is slow..and i'm dead tired..
i'm going to sleep..

Nitezzzz....

.bored.

i'm bored in my room. din go out. the last person i talked to was like james..if you don't include my room-mate..going home tomorrow. need to wash my clothes.. I wanna start my painting.well, i do hope i can draw it on the canvas on fri night..haha..

I'm so sleepy now..but i just still don't want to sleep..don't know why..mayb i will after i am done with this la..*yawn*..i'm tired..don't know what to write here..but still i wanna type..haha

.I took the test.

haha...i was damn wu liao..
so i took the test..
ok..
and i did it twice..
the first time.. i was a look-alike to Mai Kuraki, Ayumi Hamasaki, Lee Hyori, Oliver Newton, BOA, j.k rowling, jennifer love hewitt and kana..

the second time, i was a look-alike to Lee hyori, kana, Mai kuraki, Matsushima nanako, Bunko Kanazawa, Ami Suzuki, [one more i forget her name] Jennie finch, and lastly, Brenda song..haha..


ok..now u can see how boring i am..
it's bcz i'm waiting for dinner to be called..
it's 9.15..haha..

My Celebrity Look-alikes

http://www.myheritage.com

My Celebrity Look-alikes

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

ok..i've finally picked this to paint for my life drawing painting..
haha...
i'm going to be dead...haha

. Another day.

so, here i am. Another day.. I woke up late today, it was 11. i was like 'oh shit!' then i called sean..cz that pig is the one who is always late..haha... then he told me that he's not going. i was like..ok.. then he told me his class has test..i was like..huh? i though the test was like the week b4 raya holz? so, anyway, we hung up and then i called edmond to see where was he..but that fella..haihz..din get to talk to him properly..so then, i called edwin, at home..called bryan..at home..called jang..at home..i was like...what?? everyone at home? then i called kLoong..then he told me he's in campus..i was like..ok..where's edmond? then he told me our froup memebers are coloring...so i'm going there with jang later..haha..not sure..it's almsot 12..gonna finish this then i'll go over..

recently i just suck at taking pictures..cz i don't know how to take them ith short hair..haha...sometimes i do miss my long hair..haha...anyway, carol, hope u din get too shock with my hair-style..^^..ok..love ya..muakzx

.where's my dinner.

I demand for my dinner..WHERE IS IT??? god..i don't know i am like hungry every half-an hour..damnit..it's not like i din eat, or it's not like i din eat for a very long time..ok..this is just crazy..i want my dinner and i want it right now..mayb i should create a song call i want my dinner..haha..this is just crazy..i don't know what i have been doing the whole day..because i just seem so empty and confuse...sesat la me..haihz...

.amazing.

wow..i was at edmond's place and he showed me this video which really inspired me and make me want to get my guitar skilld better..
this is a korean guy playing canon in a rock version. he's amazing. please watch the whole thing and comment..^^..u can comment on my cbox.[it's a bit empty] haha..



he's amazing..his finger is like SOOOOO fast..haha..

.i cried again.

yea, being emo is so not me. But i just couldn't help it. i cried right after i turned around and walked away. but i held back my tears..when i was in the car..passing it to sean was painful.. it hurt, and i cried right in front of sean, gerald and kevin. I din know what to do. I was all messed up and i don't even know myself anymore. who even cries more than me. I cried till I'm d-hydrated and i mean litteraly cz i ended up having cramps. i had to ask ppl for time to talk to me. If not i'll be in my room and i'll not just cry till i have cramps, but i am afraid i won't be able to control myself. what more can i do?

i really love him, but i just can't take the pain anymore. I can't lose myself and I really really wish.. that i'm able to find the pieces in me. I can't bear the pain. You stole my heart and threw it again. Why are u doing this? yes, i have promised to stand at your door even if you slam it at me. But i never knew when the time came. My heart and soul has been shattered. I love you, but it's just that, i can't trust you with me heart anymore. I don't feel safe with you anymore. Being with u, i have not just have to stand up strong in front of you, but also i have to stay down. Every time i voice up my opinion. it will seem like i'm going against you.

We love each other, but i don't think it'll work. after all the pain that you and i have caused..i'm not sure if i can go on anymore or will my soul just disappear. I am lost and i am confuse. A few frineds have been asking, but i can't seem to talk about everything to them. maybe it's because i've been hurt enough. For the past few years, you've taken my entire heart, i forgot bout things i did not want to remember, but at a split second. you threw everything back at me and it shattered. I need time to pick it up piece by piece and mend it. I need time, and i need to find my pieces which are shattered all in this infinity space and by then, i can only give you the answer.

I'm not stopping you with your music. So, go ahead, at least you can make your parents proud. My family is my business, don't try t bring me back, cz.. i can't.. i admit i'm a problematic child, but nobody is perfect, and i can't help being who i am. i'm sorry.

please don't hurt me.

.where's my heart.

i ask myself..where's my heart? he called.. at the beginning..he started shooting at me.i was hurt..i din know what to do but to back up for myself, but then, the whole situation seems like i'm the unreasonable ones. we both have faults..why compare? I don't want to talk about the conversation. but at least, my blog here is something that keeps me from going crazy..
Tears just couldn't help flowing. he asked for my heart. i just couldn't give it. It wasn't strong enough to be thrown back or do anything or even touch it. I just wanted to hear it from him. I wanted to hear him say that he love me. I wanted to hear him tell me that i'm everything to him. But i guess, it's all in my mind. but at least, before we hung up..i managed to squeeze those words out of him but ended both being painful. I loved him so much. and i truly miss him. But my heart isn't ready to stand up and stay strong. i'm really very sorry..
I can't find my heart as i can't pick it up.
I just hate it when people go around telling others about their girls or their boys. well, then it's up to them. maybe some people might be happy to the fact that we are not together. who knows who is actually planning all this??

i stand under the rain. hopig that the rain will wash away my tears. was away my soul and my pain. I din know what else to do. the rain is with me, as we both cry the whole night long.

.images.

ok..here are some images of my new hair..i din reli take good pictures..not reli in the good emotions nowadays...

*carol*pls dun freak out..^^..my camera skills is like shit.what more i look like shit..with my eyes all red..i'm not photogenic at all..so, yea..pls bear with my ugly-nest..

.Meaningful words that brought my heart.

This was an entry post written by carrie, one of my friend.. she's written a little smth and i reli felt that, that is how i wanted to say it too..but i'm deadly serious not good in writing these..so the credits goes to her kayz??

-sometimes being with a person for too long may be good & may be bad. good that u und each other so well, you will know everything they think & everything they do even before they do it. I always have that feeling, i know when he will call, i will be holding my phone & the phone will ring. Even he sense the same thing~ it really feels great when everyone is happy. But when its bad.. it will turn real bad. When u think u really und that person so well, some how or rather one day u wil just realise that, actually there is much more that u have to understand and learn about that person. I seriously didn't know what to do when he just breaks down all of a sudden, doing & saying things he never says and do. I just thought it was another usual routine of his, being mad at me for things that im not at fault at, mad about his own mistake.-

.bored.

i'm sitting here on my bed in the middle of the night..listening to wang lee hom..i'm bored because i have nothing to do. so, here i am..blogging and start complaining how i wish my life would be better or how i wish i have girlfriends..
i'm getting bored of it myself..geez..ok..my leehom song has just ended and now i'm listening to some olden chinese song..and omg..it's slower then 'yue liang dai biao wo de xin' and i don't know why i'm still listening to it..
well, mayb cz i'm typing this and i'm too lazy to click to i-tunes and just change the song..

So, i just came back from ipoh to kl today. reached about 4.30 in the evening..was damn tired..i bet kLoong went back and sleep..haha.. din inform me bout dinner, so i skipped it and i ate coco crunch..haha..ok, after this i'm going to sleep...

Omg, i can't wait to get my own new mac book pro..then at least i don't have problems with virus or the keyboards or the graphics or whatever i want to do..this is just crappy and killing me..my eyes are droopy and i can fall asleep any moment..but i'm jsut waiting to download the chinese wordings..haihz..i'm gona cry any moment..A.G.A.I.N...

it's just not my luck la..someone took it away..what also taken away from me..even a min before i leave the house today, she has to talk so much..crap la..haihz..

i'm yawning again and lucky the song has finish and the song being played now is gonna make me sleep faster..then to think that i have to get up from me bed, pack my table and then off the lights..argh...my roomate is asleep, so i have to off it..

was watching claymore just now..so exciting then i realize, i oni have till episode 19 and have to wait for bryan to borrow me the rest..=___=..have to wait..so now do what?? wanna watch drama have to wait for kevin to introduce..who knows?? with brains like me i'll end up watching smth i don't wan too..
haihz..
ok..
i'm dead tired now..