inhale..exhale

(inhale)
tears begin to flood my face like a cup
left under a running faucet well after the water has reached the rim,
my heart leaping to my throat,
getting caught,
squeezing,
twisting,
tearing.
my throat contrating arong my emotion’s that threaten
to leap up & out of my lips,
my stomach
rumbling,
wrestling,
knotting.
my hands quiver as I reached up to blot the tiny teardrops,
leaving footprints down my sheeks.
the path that await’s me
suddenly seems like a pilgrimage,
one foot,
nest foot,
step,
step,
I see you.
(I see her)
you smile
(she leaves)
you ask how am i
(I lied)
I reply I’m fine
(even though my heart has just crept up into my mouth &
is jumping up & down on my tongue like an olympic
diver waiting to hit the water)
I want to say I miss you,
let you know that I miss your arms,
your smile,
your lips.
I want you to know that
(I’m incomplete)
my body hurts,
my soul bleeds.
I ask how you are
( hoping that against all hope that you’ll tell me what I want to
hear)
you reply,
( your answer not including that you miss me,
that you miss my arms, my lips, my touch)
my eyes attempt to strip you down your soul
(searching for what I once knew so well)
they get lost
( but find their way back to reality when they graze over the [ever-fading] hackey
just above the collar of the shrt she bought you)
my heart leaps off the end of my tongue,
wanting you to see the way you’ve hurt me
wanting you to hurt the same way.
It fall’s to the ground
you hastily say goodbye
stomping
squshing
mutilating
my vulnerable fallen heart
people pass by, as if i don’t exist
(I want to cry, scream, shout)
I want someone to find my heart,
bring it back together,
piece it together.
I turn away,
hoping that it won’t hurt
(as much)
and hoping that I will again be able to call you
and have you come over to me,
be able to buy you shirt’s that match your eveys
and will still be able to make your ear’s turn red from the friction of our lips.
I walk away,
knowing my heart will not follow.
( exhale)